Rock on.....

Guess who is back on board…..ME……I will admit they were starting to loose me for a while, I am not sure if it is the sheer fact that the season is incredibly long or for the fact that the last few weeks haven’t been that interesting to me. But GAME ON…….why have they never had a rock week before…..LOVED IT, LOVED IT, LOVED IT!!!! I guess they always say don’t forget where you came from…..well my friends this is where I came from …….forget Maroon 5, Mary J whoever……Bring on the Zeppelin, Aerosmith, Stones…….I was doing some serious daydreaming of back in the day at the high school gymnasium…….so let’s get to it…..

My all time favorite quote last night came from Ryan after explaining that the singers will be doing solo’s and duets and then goes “WOW the judges really have their work cut out for them tonight” Ummmm are you kidding me? Yes they have to add two extra comments most likely only one worth while listening too…..WOW your right that is a lot of stress and “hard work” you should consider “upping” their salaries to 20 million a show…..Ridiculous!

Did anyone catch Paula constantly trying to text under the desk? Annoying – seriously let your pill dealer off the hook for one hour while you tape this show…..Did anyone catch she finally admitted to a pill addition this morning on the news…..wah wah wah…..

So I don’t get it – Yes I think Slash is super talented, but shouldn’t they have an actual SINGER mentor these young chickens? First a movie director, than an actor from In Living Color, and now a guitar hero??? I am just saying These folks are on this show to SING not just be Hollywood icons………so other than the head of pubs I had to stare at last night that is really my only beef with Slash……the guy has mad skills and one large head of pubic hair!

Adam - Now this was one cassette tape I remember running into the ground – who can’t relate some childhood memory to a Led Zeppelin song??? So I thought it was a great song choice – he sounded good, performed well as he always does, I felt like there wasn’t as much skretching, or it was less obvious because it is suppose to happen in this song as opposed to “somewhere over the rainbow” So honestly I was really getting “over” Adam, but last night suited him and I am semi back on board. What I am not on board with is Kara getting way overzealous and calling him out as a “Rock God” WHOOOOAAAHHH Horsey simmer down he is just some punk kid on a TV show right now…….that status must be earned in the real world where you have to work to fill stadiums and po dunk bars and not have Kara Dia…something hand you those rights.
I did enjoy Adam giving a shout out to the Teal eyeliner era…..ahhh those were the days.

Alison…..I liked when she needs hair help she turned to Adam…..sad and pathetic that Adam has a “person” who is he H&R block – don’t tell me you have people. I think she sounds great – she should have picked a more popular song, but she just sounds great and I think more and more she deserves to be there I would buy her CD in a heartbeat if I would think I would have the opportunity to ever get rid of the nursery rhymes that play in my car on a non-stop loop and actually listen to a CD of my own. Guarantee whoever wins this shin dig – Alison will climb that ladder of success while Adam goes back to being a cast member in Rent.

Kris/Danny Duo……They sounded good together although I feel like Kris fell in the shadow of Danny’s louder raspier voice. Now can we talk about why the men feel like it is necessary to wear 10 lbs of silver dog collar inspired jewelry………yuk.

Kris – Now this little looker is let’s just say not the “strongest Rock voice” in the bunch…..didn’t think he sounded amazing, but didn’t sound awful either……I am VERY sad to say that I think he might have met his demise this week, unless that smile will carry him through.

Danny – Now I was a bit confused by the “business rock” attire he was trying to sport last night…..Let’s not just come out belting Aerosmith in a pint striped vest and pants and a iridescent lavender shirt with 12 dog collars on?? I was in total confusion when I saw him…..Ummm hello how about throwing one down for Mr. Tyler and grabbing a scarf to tie around that microphone or a pair of ripped up jeans, a leather jacket anything anything that screams I am going to belt out a rock anthem not go make a trade on wall street. So as much as his outfit hit a sour note so did his voice – I think this week was the first week that his vocals were brutal – the screaming was painful…..I don’t think it is enough to see him take a walk but it might.

Adam/Alison duet – other than Adams painted on Beatle juice pants and camel balls….. I thought it was pretty flawless…….

Bottom two – I don’t think they can have a bottom three with only 4 folks…..
Danny and Kris with (sniff sniff…..) Kris going home.

Munson out……

Back to the dueling piano you go......

Well America – You got it right and thank goodness you did – I feel like Alison is so much more deserving of that spot and good for all of you for recognizing it! So here in list format are some things I enjoyed, found amusing, or noticed from last night…..

Ford Commercial – that Adam was always last in the running race….and it just made me flashback to the interview with his dad where he said “Adam and sports not so much…….” With a look of disappointment – made me giggle.

Ummm $6K to clean up a food fight – sign me up! I will mop that b-s*** up!

Does Paula own enough Vaseline to fight off the chub rub that she is going to be experiencing from those two cantaloupes rubbing together all night?

I truly appreciate Ryan calling out Randy as a name dropper and then all of them hopping on board to fuel the fire!

If I can look 1/3 as hot at Natalie Cole did last night when I am in my mere 50’s (or even now for god’s sake!) I would be a happy camper! Who does she think she is with those legs…..Watch out Tina Turner!

Taylor Hicks sort of surprised me – I actually really enjoyed the slim trim look, the performance and the song…..perhaps it was because he laid off his signature “hey” with the head jerk action. And why were his shoes 12 feet long?

I truly enjoyed the popping of Adams ego as he was “shocked” and “horrified” that he was in the bottom three – I think he deserved to be – perhaps when he grows up and allows his balls to drop he can hang with the big boys.

Okay Jamie Foxx – Now if I wanted to listen to a computer generated voice for 3 minutes I would turn to our resident expert….Britney Spears……Why in the world would you go this route and become that “artist” so annoying we all saw Ray we know you can sing but instead you opt to say hook me up to that synthesizer and let me lip-sync away? This is what is wrong with our youth – they probably all loved it – they are probably like wow he sounds just like my cell phone…….cool.

Finally I really enjoyed when Matt and Adam were giving their congratulatory goodbyes – Matt goes in for a handshake and Adam goes in for a smooch on the cheek…..umm guess everybody likes different stuff.

Farewell my fellow bronco…….it was your time to go…..See you on the tour.
Munson out!

Rat Pack....

First of all are we seriously STILL watching the same season?? I have this feeling like it is really never going to end and then I heard the news - the FINALE in three weeks, happy and sad all at the same time. Happy that this madness will finally be over and sad that I might just have to go do something productive with my life on Tuesday and Wednesday nights.......

So I am sure Mr. Sinatra is eternally grateful for one Jamie Foxx speaking for him and explaining to these youngsters what the era was really all about. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?? #1 I had no idea he was this big recording artist, yes I have seen him in Ray and yes he was really good, but "pop star" really?? Have I been living under a rock? All I am saying Oscar or not, anyone that used to play a character called "ugly wanda" & "handyman" (handy man might be David Alan Greer) but non the less he doesn't deserve to teach and relate the Rat Pack era to our young ones.......

Kris - So yeah Jamie said he would record an album with him, of course he would........he will do anything to get back "in the game" so to speak after making "booty call" Kris was good it was plain, simple and to the point. Great vocals and I think this little puppy dog is making a great impact on America.....Stay humble and ride it all the way to the bank my friend!

Alison - Well I think this is the best she has looked and sounded this season. Now her outfits aren't always body appropriate, but it was a decent put together look and I really enjoyed it. I am not sure why Kara went all Ghetto on her ass "girl" "I ain't never heard" - is it because she just follows Randy and stays on course with his ebonics? Not sure but Kara honey those phrases sound ridiculous coming out of your silver spooned mouth.

Matt - Well well well - President Diether H. Haenicke is rolling over in his grave to give a big thumbs up - Thanks for giving a shout out to good ol' WMU! Matt sang Sweet Valentine, it was okay but I don't think good enough to keep this kid around. I mean is it too much to ask to smile or share a light hearted joke while talking with Ryan - I mean no doubt this guy is nervous but make some sort of connection other than "holy shit I am going to be in the bottom three again" look. Speaking of valentine - what is with Paula's Valentine day massacre dress???

Danny - He was good - not as FANTASTIC as all the judges gloated about but good enough to stick around.....I don't know about you but when Simon talks about swagger it just doesn't have the same connotation when Kara talks about it.....I find it quite creepy.

Adam - Okay seriously how many times has this guy "closed" the show - I feel like it is a bit unfair for him to always have the light show, firework finale......Okay yes, he is interesting, but I challenged myself last night.......I asked myself if I could listen to all 12 songs he sang all season long in a row and not kill myself? And honestly I don't know if I could without a LARGE bottle of vino and a Costco volume sized Extra strength Tylenol on hand. The hair band scream is wearing on me folks - I might be aging myself......but ugh it is painful to listen to sometimes. - I enjoyed that Paula made the M. Phelps reference that I spoke of last week........NICE.

That is all folks - I wasn't wowed or blown over by any particular one - because I think everyone is good it is hard to find that much fault at this point......

Bottom three - Matt, Alison, and YUP ADAM!!!!!! - Matt going home.

Munson out..............................

Another TWO bite the dust......

So thank you for listening – I quite enjoyed the full 70’s gear outfits last night during the group performance. As most of you know I am all about a “theme”! But honestly are the microphones and earpieces necessary when the lip-syncing is so blatant and obvious?

So it appeared to be the choreographer’s dream of one washed up Paula Abdul coming to fruition last night – It was her crowning moment she has been waiting for ever since her cold hearted snake video in the early 90’s. No doubt she has talent in this arena, but there is a little word I would like to introduce to Ms. Abdul it is called “humility” I mean it was as if she won Miss Universe up there….. the hydrangea bouquet, the tightly glued together palm wave, the ridiculously inappropriate glitter t-shirt worn as a dress…….Paula act like you have been there before and don’t get so much enjoyment out of putting a little routine together for 7 random soon to be nobodies remember where you came from and do not falter from your illustrious career as a laker girl and dancing with that imaginary cat in “opposites attract” J

Anywho……I truly feel like the Ford people have run out of ideas – the commercial/video was so lame and stupid (not to say all others are academy award winners) but I feel like their producers are in a serious writers block….didn’t enjoy it one bit.

Okay so I don’t think any of us were that shocked or disappointed by last nights results. It is what it is and now I feel like it is GAME ON……It will be interesting how these boys and bozo battle each other for the top spots.

Now my heart doesn’t normally have a soft spot for people that are just ridiculous, but seriously I felt so bad for KC last night that I wanted to fully yell at the screen and tell him to run off the stage RUN KC RUN……..Come on dude hang it up your pipes are corroded and strained. It was as if I was listening to a toddler singing……it was as if he used his last dying breath on every single syllable. KC I hate to tell you but you have lost it…….The voice……The waistline…..Any sort of edge you might have once had with that stupid earring…..Your hairline Let’s face reality and just simmer back down in your lazy boy and get back to the bag of cool ranch Doritos you were munching on before Fox called you for your hopefully FINAL guest appearance.

David Archuletta – did he shrink or was he always a “little person” WOW I forgot how tiny that boy was! I however missed his Dad in his brown canvas baseball hat and camping shirt……Our little David has really grown up and finally can go with out a chaperone………I’m a big kid now!

Munson out…………………..

Disco - sucks!

Ummmmmmmm when did George Hamilton pull a Benjamin Button and start hosting American Idol? – Ryan’s tan is getting more absurd by the week - I am afraid for his melanomic induced skin…….it is starting to age him and I don’t appreciate the orange smiley face creepishly staring at me for an hour each Tuesday……Tone it down Seacrest……And seriously when does he find the time in between his 478 jobs he holds down to get to the tanning booth?

Another color induced thing I noticed last night, now let me preface… I have a bit of a teeth fetish, meaning they must be large straight and all must be aligned in a straight row, so this comes as no surprise at how much this grossed me out…..but Mr. Jackson thought he could get away with only bleaching his top grill and left his bottoms completely yellow and disgusting as if he rubbed tobacco and coffee on them for 3 straight hours…..ugh if your going to go through the trouble to whiten the tops to the shade of white puffy cotton than please repeat for the bottom! Check it out tonight it is nasty. Now I was not at home when I watched last night so hopefully it wasn’t due to the TV that I was watching it on, I will verify tonight on my own tube…….

For as much as Disco was the theme last night , it didn’t appear that anyone broke it down and got on top of that funk…….So just a-yite for me. I don’t know why I expect someone to step out in a big fro and glitter as if they were walking in Studio 54, but a little something from that era would have been nice…..

Lil – wow they are really setting her up to get the eff out of Dodge…..I thought she sounded okay, not great, and it appears that she is “forcing” the “be young and connect to your audience” thing…..it just isn’t coming naturally to her. I am sure we will hear the race card issue be dropped shortly. I will have to give her props for her bravery last night – really a straight up Uni-tard? Now I know this is exactly what I was asking for as it is indicative of the era, however there was so much TOE kicking that I couldn’t concentrate. It was like an entire HOOF staring at me! Did anyone catch Lil’s Mom ready to beat some serious ass when the judges gave their review….She frightened me.

Kris – Okay seriously awesome. Loved every minute of it. Mr. Cowell please take note this is the CORRECT way to wear a plain white T – no scoop or V-necks just plain and simple and damn sexy…….not sure what Paula’s ramble about girl shopping and undies was all about – but all I am saying is if he is looking for some grunders – I WILL work hard for the money…..I am just saying!

Danny – Ummm what is with the George Michael facial hair? When someone is caught doing lewd acts in public bathrooms it is not a good sign that you are trying to look like that said person. I didn’t find him as “amazing” as the judges did – Yes he is good – but I am almost getting sick of the raspy groggily voice. His performance was boring and kinda lame.

Alison – Did she “paint” on her leggings or did she actually attempt to squeeze something that tight onto her legs – it gave me cramps just thinking about it. I also was experiencing aching in my arches as I watched her dance in those stilts she was wearing. Apparently I need to start shopping in the adult puffy paint sweatshirt woman’s department where there are rows of elastic and isles of Danskin bootie footwear…..Getting old is a treat I tell you! She sounded good and I am enjoying that the hair shade is going from Pink to orange – perhaps next week we will see the orange to brown transformation!

Adam – Okay I have had it up to here with them stroking his EGO…..it is absurd. Why don’t they all just walk up on stage and bend over for him? I am sure he would be more appreciative of that gesture than the nice words……..I mean yes he is good but it’s not as if we are watching Elvis or Bon Jovi or something….. And the ridiculous look of pride on Paula’s makeup caked face is too much. They pan to her welled up eyes as if she is Mrs. Phelps watching Michael go for the 8th gold medal……. And I can’t really let the peacock faux hairdo go unnoticed, there was really nothing faux about it – it had so much volume and thickness to it that I thought it was going to spread its wings and fly right out of the Kodak theatre. Also the creepy diamond encrusted snake pinky ring is all too Liberace and OBVIOUS to me……

Matt – I thought he sounded great and really gave it his all, knowing his ass is on the line.
I will not deny either that the boy has some moves……I found it entertaining and good since he actually did the “disco” version. So poo poo to you judges for swaying America to vote him off after making a damn fine comeback in my mind.

Anoop – Now….when you already have two very large caterpillars above each eye, why would you go ahead and grow one on top of your lip as well?? I thought he was boring and uneventful – bye bye.

Oh yeah I almost forgot the fact that vinnie neil was there was all too embarrassing to address.....also the fact that him and his girl toy have the exact same highlights.......Can you say WASHED UP???

Okay so bottom three Anoop/Matt/Lil SOUNDS FAMILIAR huh (still bitter over the waste of time last week) with Anoop and Lil going home.

Munson out.

Imunity.....Schmunity......

So stupid – Do you mean to tell me I wasted two hours of precious time staring at one unattractive, creepy, greasy Quinton Tarantino for nothing? This whole save is sort of stupid towards the end, I can see in the beginning if someone like a Chris Daughtry gets eliminated before he should but seriously there are only 7 left and I will have to agree with Simon – Matt, as much as I want to see my little “Western Bronco” succeed he will not WIN this competition, he might have a career, but he is not walking away with the trophy so that is my point – why do we prolong the agony? It was as if the Tarantino week didn’t even need to exist (on many different levels!) So I was left disappointed and annoyed last night – it’s not like this “immunity” changes the game and causes some sort of sneaky strategy like in Survivor…..It just makes us listen to these peeps who we all know will eventually go home anyway for one more week. I feel cheated and bitter for many reasons which I will now list…..

I had to endure the horrific group dance to Maniac…..really of all the songs we pick Flash dance? How current and cutting edge….the producers are certainly not listening to the judges expertise as the continually beat a dead horse by saying “song choice is everything” I did however enjoy the movement of the group performance I think they used every ancillary item in the Kodak theatre besides the stage as a big eff you to Scott….I mean they were on stairs, the judges platform, scaffoldings, the audience it was as if they were all mouthing “look at me I am free!”

The camera men, please don’t just pan to Zac Effron for 3.5 seconds and then be done – gentleman please once you focus on that face of perfection there is NO reason, I mean absolutely no reason to move that camera anywhere else. And yes, even if he has a stupid ski hat on in the middle of LA in a controlled temperature environment there just are no excuses.

Seriously Zac and Kris in the same facility at one time– FOX what are you trying to do to all the middle aged mothers/cougars out there? Seriously, bordering on cruel.

Ali-son – oh I am sorry are we bothering you – did you not have enough time to rush over from yoga class to make an appearance on the nationally broadcasted, most watched show in America? What is with the straight up sweats she was wearing last night – I know we are in the age of comfort, but my little bozo the clown you have crossed the line.

Along the same lines – Randy are you having a tough long day? What is with the camera always catching him yawning and starring with his mouth agape? Were you stressed and flailing all day trying to gather Journey up for a reunion tour? Pull it together dawg it is one hour…….grab a red bull and focus up!

Miley – there is not enough time in a day for me to start up a rant on this little gum chewing hillbilly…..She is so annoying with her gown, nasal southern drawl, drowning in dry ice all while feeling it necessary to head bang during her love ballad.- don’t even get me started on this tween sensation……I will end up in a yoga class if I continue so I will leave it at that.

Jennifer Hudson – what a bad song…….I mean trust me I am a big fan and was right there with her screaming “I’m not leaving without you” in Dream Girls………but this song was annoying I felt like she was off key and then just started fumbling with her ear piece as a saving grace so she could blame it on something – I don’t think it was loose or falling out at all! But of course give the girl a break she practically lost her entire family this year – perhaps a few weak notes is excusable.

Okay maybe it is the accountant in me but I have a bone to pick with AI – we say the bottom 3 each week however I don’t feel like it is fair to have four there last night and misrepresent to the public. I mean last night you had Matt, Lil, Anoop, and Oh yeah Lil’s ass……seriously it needs it’s own separate stool and I think they should give out a separate text and phone number so we can vote that thing off separately from Lil herself……..

Okay Disco next week should be fun!

Munson out…………..

Pulp Fiction, Kill Bill, & Resavoir Dogs Totally screams singing competition?????

Okay really a Legend?? I might have to disagree……Webster defines it as the following.

Archaic. a story of the life of a saint, esp. one stressing the miraculous or unrecorded deeds.

Nowhere in their definition does it confirm the following about Quinton Tarentino….
Make three decent movies and you are now considered a legend.
A person who looks like Crispin Glover/George Mcfly….automatically becomes a legend.
Just because you were the kid in the back of the classroom picking your nose and eating your own boogers and then became known in Hollywood do you automatically become a legend?
Just because you are obsessed with these kids making it, and become obsessed with the show, don’t make you a legend, I surely am not.
Just because you have a few catchy tunes in a few of your movies doesn’t make you a legend.
When you are under the age of 50 you should never be considered a legend, have you really put in your time by your late 30’s?

Another highlight for me was the constant panning to Katie Couric. I think she finally realized the only way for her to remain on Prime Time TV and not have the people change the station is to show up at an AI taping……I am just saying leaving the Today show was the worst decision EVER.

I would like to take a moment to really give Ryan props – the impersonation of Randy Jackson last night was uncanny and SO CALLED for – I am so glad he made him and everyone else MORE aware of what a TOOL he sounds like. You did me proud Mr. Seacrest!

Okay let’s get ready to RUMMMMMBLLLLEEEE……. I will have to first apologize for probably some incoherent rambling that might happen, you see last night was date night for Hubbie and I and after getting home at 11:45 pm (if you don’t know me that is unheard of and I am flabbergasted that I hadn’t turned into fairy dust at that point!) at any rate a few glasses of wine and a big gulp of caffeine at the movies somehow I felt it necessary and was completely alert to watch AI until 1am last night – but now I feel like Crap-o and might sound like it below as well…..so that is my warning……

Ali-“son” – I like her but let’s not get cocky I mean I don’t think you are at the level to start wearing one (like a Michael Jackson) glove that is Lacy (like Madonna) I feel like you have a few oats to sew before you are able to pull that one off……I felt like she “over sang” and was “shouting” a lot last night – but the judges seemed to love it, so be it. Do you all think her hair is a wig – it is so thick and seems to have a life of its own?

Anoop- okay you had me at “everything I do”, you see I have sort of a soft spot for Bryan Adams, he sang our wedding song – I know this is where it is straight out embarrassing to admit to our 1998 nuptials as if we got married in 1985 and rocked it out to Summer of 69. But it was one of his slow acoustic versions of “heaven” and I still love it to this day – so suck it all you “Endless love’s” and “At Last” romantics – I went old school 80’s with Bryan Adams and not ashamed of it. However, I might be ashamed to admit that my mother n law wore a Gene Simmons mask at the reception – yep sounds like your regular white trash BBQ J at any rate I think he sounded AWESOME and was proud of him…..He is however getting a little nutso with his style choices – I feel like he is confused and misdirected…..I think he can’t decide so he just says eff it I will wear all of it, including, a striped tie, a plaid shirt, Varsity football blazer with a Natzi armband….. WTF?

Adam – Okay do you think he and Pete Wentz talk about what they are wearing on a daily basis? I feel like they are too junior high kids talking like caddy chicks “OMG what are you going to wear tomorrow?” “OMG really I am going to wear my hoodie and skinny jeans too!” “See you in homeroom and don’t forget your guy liner we will definitely need to reapply by study hall” it kinda bugs me….. So as soon as the laser light show simmered down – I tried to reflect on this high pitched wonder….yeah he is entertaining but is he straight up annoying as well?? I feel like can he just get through one song without the AYYYIIIEEEEE scream (sorry that doesn’t translate well on paper!) but I think you all know what I mean, but I started thinking of my youth (way back when) and those high pitch screams are everything I loved about music back then and the reason I loathe so much current R&B today……So Kudos Adam, I have got your back (well I will stand in line behind all those other boys who definitely HAVE it too!) and I will support your metal hair band influence if it means a return to the 80’s era that I crave…

Matt – Again Bryan Adams – I wasn’t as mad as all the judges – but he did sound a bit out of breath and out of tune…. I was more concerned with when he sang “have you ever really loved…..a woman” all I could hear was “have you ever really ever seen ……Don Juan Demarco??” Sounds like an academy award winner. I also enjoyed Simon making fun of Kara talking as if she was throwing up – I think it seriously killed Simon not to have input on each contestant last night. And I can’t tell you how much I love to watch him egg Paula on…….

Danny - Endless love……(okay so maybe more of you can relate your own wedding experiences to this – so be it – you are a more sophisticated gal than I!) But honestly I was waiting for the BIG revel to come out that this was his late wife and his wedding song……I was waiting for the tear drop to fall from his eye when the last string on the harp was plucked…..I was waiting for him to finally remove his wedding band and place it gently on the piano in a heart wrenching symbolic moment…..but nothing…… just a nicely performed song with elegance and class all while wearing a powder blue Miami vice blazer…..Congrats Danny.

Kris – Yummy. That’s all I have – what do you expect at 12:50 am – I thought I was practically having a wet dream until Lil came onto the scene.

Lil – sang the Rose a classic if you will I though she sounded good – but I think the judges are trying to sway her outta there just because she doesn’t have the pull the others do for ratings…..And it seems like everyone is pulling off the skinny jean….. why is it when I try them on in the dressing room I can’t stop from laughing hysterically at myself?

Bottom Three Matt/LiL/Kris – with Lil going home.

Munson out.