Wednesday, May 20, 2009

WOWZER.........

Okay friends, Well I have to admit I was a bit surprised and to be honest after cheering on Kris whole heartily for most of the season - I will have to dig down deep and admit that I felt like Adam was a bit cheated. Trust me Kris is good and I can't wait to see what he does with his title, but I think I was taken back by his almost "too humble" celebration - I mean really "Adam deserves this" humble is cute but you just WON - 100,000,000 people voted for you - that is insane - how about a fist pump or a HELLS YEAH or a SUCK IT ADAM take your SQUEAL and go home......I mean I know that isn't who he is, but just some sort of RAW emotion would have been nice. It left the end a little fizzled for me.

With that being said - HOLY CRAPPER - They pulled out all the stops didn't they?? I was seriously more entertained by this finale than I have been by the last 5 years or Grammy awards! WELL DONE Simon Fuller! It seriously puts into perspective that I didn't waist those 762 hours on my couch for nothing!! I seriously could be awake for another 4 hours recapping all that I enjoyed from tonight, but my stupid right sided brain that must sit through an 8 hour accounting seminar is telling me that I must get rest to listen to debit/credit talk all day..... So I will try to bullet point this the best I can.....

1. Randy why did he dress up like P Diddy's butler - really is URKEL that much of an icon that you must present us with a HUGE crooked VELVET bow tie?
2. Paula - Loved how they stuck the vocabulary retardedness to her! That could have filled the two hour show in itself.
3. So as the final 13 were performing it was amazing to me all the folks I had so quickly forgot - it was as if I went back to the winter 2009 class reunion...."oh my good oil rigger guy, you look exactly the same......oh munchinci you are still butt scrawny, Megan you still have your absurd arm lady tattoo and think you are Ella Fitzgerald" So good to connect with my old homies.
4. David Cook - Kudos for being such a class act and put together!
5. Best Male - Norman - oh my little Norm Norm.....you once again had me laughing out loud and practically peeing in my pants - Words cannot describe the happiness I felt when I saw you rip off your hoodie and get into character! And ending it with a "peace out" priceless my loved one!
6. Just wondering why they didn't have Scott perform with Queen Latifa? Why does it have to be so obvious and be Lil rounds? Is having an enormous ass a prerequisite?
7. Keith Urban - Newsflash it is now time to move on from the junior section and shop for shirts in the MEN's section - may I suggest that you leave Ambercrombie and Aerostople to the prepubescent boys....... or at least purchase an adult size shirt.
8. Fergie/girls - ummm Megan you butchered it and sounded like junk - I didn't miss that voice for a minute.
9. Black eyed peas - LOVED every minute of the performance - the creepy black and white costumed dancers, Fergie looked wicked hot, Sounded good lot of spunk - I am just saying....
10. Bikini Girl - I applaud Ryan for calling out the new and improved enhancements on this chick - It was the first thing outta my mouth the moment she walked out!
11. Kara - OH NO SHE DIDN'T just flash herself in a bikini - totally floored that she did it and even more floored that she has that body under there. Bitch.
12. Allison/Cyndi Lauper - seriously did any one want to just tell Cyndi to shut up and let Allison sing the song alone. I did. Allison my young one - you are going places!
13. SO last night Kris mom looked sooooo gorgeous but tonight hussy/whore came to mind - inappropriate dress for her - didn't like it one bit.
14. Adam - well well well - I have been telling Chris for a week that the Press reported KISS to be in the finale and he told me NO WAY - I would know about it if they were.....low and behold there they were - so great. And with the plethora of stars that have been on it so far Chris finally says "wow they really aren't messing around" when KISS comes on as if everyone else was chump change. I mean yeah Kris you get up there with Keith and just have a few guitars.....BUT Adam why don't you head out with KISS and we will shoot off some fireworks, have an elevated stage to bring down the band, some smoke, we will break guitars we will have crazy costumes.....I mean totally fair and comparable right?
15. Rod Stewart still sounds good - but frail and weak like an aids patient NO?
16. Tatiana - oh vey.... I guess it had to happen, but really do we need to bring up such unhappy memories on such a memorable night?
17. Queen - thought KRIS and ADAM sounded great together!
18. Adam - honestly I felt like you got the rug pulled out from under you a bit tonight but perhaps you deserved it since your final outfit change you decided to wear a classy black suit and ADD A BROACH TO IT!!

Well folks moral of this season.......apparently a sweet ass and a perfect smile can take you far in life - Congrats KRIS! This cougar will be waiting for your CD to Drop!

It's been fun folks......but I am not going to lie there is that list of 178 million projects that I am really excited to get to that I have put on hold since JANUARY!!!!

Munson out

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Toss up....

Okay folks - I am going to keep this short and sweet. I think they are both deserving. If I were basing it strictly on performances from last night I would have to retract and admit Adam should walk away with it, but if I am basing what I would want to throw into my CD player on a long drive to take my mind off things, I will definitely have to say Kris should take the honors. I think it is all going to come down to how many of us lazy folks that grew up in the 80's and really appreciate Adam's "style" will get up off the couch and actually vote - because I am telling you what that SWARM of 10-14 year old girls have already texted and phone beyond every one of their calling plan contracts! So Kris still might stand a chance.
Some highlights from tonight:
1. Not real sure why Randy choose to dress up like MR. Belvidere on crack? Not sure what he was going for with the polka dots, checkers, & plaid all combined.
2. So Yeah I did pause and actually count - Simon didn't decide to start buttoning until the fourth button down - REALLY? You dress up for one show and you have to come out parading with glitter balm on your freshly manicured chest and act as if you just finished a drink at the "man hole"? Did Axel Foley in Beverly Hills Cop teach you nothing "This is not sexy....scruff like dog" (that might be a little far fetched but those of you who remember are giggling right now.)
3. Paula had lets say a lot of "low hanging fruit" going on last night - I was waiting for some malfunction to happen - but the only malfunction that ever happens with her consistently is when she opens her jaw....
4. Did Kara look strickened and frightened the entire night - her jaw was locked tighter than....well I am not sure cuz it's practically 10 o clock and I have no jazzy comparison, but let's just say she had some fierce butt hole lips kicking all night.
5. Adam - I thought the second song that everyone was so impressed with was nauseating and annoying......so not sure what boat I missed on that one.
6. Kris' mom - how cute did she look - super classy and well played Mrs. Allen!
7. Kris - what are you doing making your mom a music coupon gift only a few years ago? I know you might be just starting out as a newlywed and making ends meet but for the love of coupons - I think you could have stepped it up and got her some isatoners.
8. Kris' mustache is getting a bit fu man chu for me....
9. I am glad the song they wrote for the winner was at least anthem like......not a la Taylor Hicks love ballad while the confetti falls - still angry over that one. But it was too big for Kris, he didn't sound the best at it.

Like I said it's a toss up which makes it fun until tomorrow night where we will have to invest the final 28.9 hours on the finale.

Munson out.

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Smiles all around......

"And I'm proud to be an American......." I am so glad I can count on you to make the right decision and you did last night - at least in my book! Danny had to go, the final with him and Adam was too OBVIOUS....I know they all ax like Adam is a shoe in.....but I think this little pumpkin is going to give him a run for his money - he surely bitched slapped Danny with a little reality last night!

So yes quite ridiculous, but it is 8:30pm the day after and this is literally the first time I have logged onto a PC today......ugh - I won't bore you with the ugly details but just get on wit bid-ness.......

Some highlights from last night....

1. KRIS KRIS KRIS - I was so fired up last night I caught myself doing an arm pump and mouthing "yeeesssss" all my my lonesome on the couch....It wasn't a proud moment, but needed to happen.
2. Did Paula forget that randomly she was on a show with 88 million viewers? Why did she feel so high and mighty to show up 3 minutes late.....Paula I am telling you take five extra minutes and wipe the coke dust off your nose a little earlier and get to you one hour job that takes place two days a week on time, for the love!
3. Alisha - when did she take the corn rows out and become such a beauty? looking good my sista!
4. Noah (the little boy from Africa) okay this guy was quite the jumping bean....the dancing cracked me up....I felt like he thought he was still in the village swatting flies away (uncalled for I know but really who dances like that) He was cute as poop and I tell you give him another month and he will be all pimped out with a gold grill and a mink coat....I am just saying his first performance in front of millions of people - what do you expect him to go back to loom basket weaves and carry fruit on his head.....Noah will say a big no way to that.....I'm in LA and I am staying!
5. Danny - were his parent's pissed? So he gets this whole home town parade and he just says thanks mom and dad for raising me but I think I will bring my pal Jamar in the convertible with me.....If that was my kid I would have thrown Jamar in the trunk and taken my rightful place on the back of that car with MY KID!
6. Kris - Okay you know my deep love for this perfect teethed individual....but I was secretly frightened last night does he have a Robert Patterson Twilight ear?? one seemed awful pointy and stuck to his head - I hope I just imagined it.
7. I loved how they panned 3 cm away from Kris' dad's tear.....as if they were really catching an ah ha moment.....
8. Kris - did anyone notice there was not one male at the hometown concert for him......all ladies and all trying to get them some!
9. Adam - so he had a streaker - a little over the top - but secretly I think he would have been happier if the streaker was a guy......
10. Who are these grown men screaming as if John Lennon just walked out on stage asking for Adam to sign their shirts.....focus up grown ups and let the kids do the embarrassing stuff (I'm sure if was for his kid though - wink wink)
11. Jordan Sparks - when did she become a larger version of Toni Braxton - I thought she looked good! But not sure the poltergeist ending was necessary.
12. A friend brought this one to my attention - Why did Katy Perry sound worse than both Adam, Kris, & Danny combined - but is a millionaire from selling cds - she sounded bad last night and she should stick to kissing girls......or being "airbrushed" for radio! oh and thanks Katy for being so discrete on who your voting for!

Okay so as you all know couldn't be happier with the results and Look forward to next week!

Munson out.

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Three Amigos.....

Well here we go folks….it’s down to the wire but someone has to go….and for a moment I would like to emulate Paula in a few ways and say I am proud of all three guys and they all have careers ahead of them……and they are all winners to get this far, what I would not like to emulate is have it be known to America that I wear 14 lbs of foundation and makeup that one quick hug onto Simon’s white BVD and a ¼ of it remained on his shirt for the duration of the show…….I thought Simon was chaffing and straight up bleeding from the nipple only to be relieved that it is just half of Paula’s face rubbed onto him…phew…..and yuck.

Danny – I will have to end our Kansas City airport love affair right here and right now….I am sorry – but you need to go home tonight. I have been a big fan of yours from the start and you have a very talented voice, don’t get me wrong, but you are what we like to call a one trick pony……a Taylor Hicks syndrome if you will…….good but same ol crap every time. Did anyone know that Terrance Trent Darby had another song besides “wishing well?” Well he shouldn’t have. Danny also needs to leave so I no longer have to look at that “getting too thick” beard of his, Who does he think he is? Hugh Jackman? FYI the Wolverine look is not working for you. I hope to say goodbye to you……Forever.

Kris – Who would have known from week one when I “advised” a friend to put him in the bottom three of all the guys in Hollywood that I would fall head over heals for this guys talent as well as his bedroom eyes……I mean let’s face dark horse – hell yeah….but I feel like I have to give this guy credit – I mean he is quite talented….the piano and the guitar, ability to change up songs, and the ability to act like a NORMAL human being….I know Ryan has alluded to his humbleness several times, but I tell you what that trait resonates deeply for me…..It makes you like him and it makes you want to cheer for the normal!

Adam – On the flip side of normal……let’s first start by discussing the tongue and how much it makes me want to hurl……Its fat and white and flailing out in every which way when he belts out into his “scream” it’s inappropriately panting like a dog that just found out he gets to go for a car ride. Adam do us all a favor pick up that creepy horse tongue and throw it back in your mouth where it belongs. Along the same lines as Danny, I am loosing luster as much as everyone claims he is so cutting edge and can’t wait to see what he is going to do next I don’t find it as much as a surprise – every week it goes something like this….
Adam walks out slowly and shines under a bright blue moon beam.
Adam sings softly and slowly keeping the audience on the edge of their seats as to what he will do next….
And with no twists, he then pumps it up and starts his 80’s head bang scream even when it isn’t appropriate.
Stage hands cue fog and smoke machines…..
End of story.
The only twist I saw last night was that he wasn’t draped in rocker black garb but rather a straight up stoned washed shirt and jeans – ummm can someone please advise me….should I be holding on to my stone washed denim from 1985 they are currently marked for an upcoming g-sale and now I am completely stressed over this decision I will have to make. #1 do I keep them or #2 do I mark them up since they are so vintage and now in style….ugh just one more thing to bog me down!
My last little tidbit with Adam was his final comment on how he is “honored to be in the presence of the other two” Someone please knock some fear into this guy…why does he feel it is necessary to spout off a speech as if he was at the Oscars and in the running with Meryl Streep, Kate Winslet, & Brad Pitt. I am just saying step off Kris’ humble coat tails.

I ended up the night pretty depressed last night as they announced it was the 300th show….WOW really I have plopped my fat rear down on the couch and stared at the tube for 300 episodes…..that is devoted or straight up pathetic!

Danny out tonight (I hope)

Munson out

Thursday, May 7, 2009

No Girls Allowed!!

Poo poo to the boys only club – I was disheartened last night and REALLY felt like Allison should have made it through. Not that Danny sucks and should be booted to the curb, but based on his last performance he deserved to go more than her. So be it, perhaps seeing Daughtry last night will be an inspiration to her that even if you are sent home packing before you should have you can still make a name for yourself. Speaking of Daughtry does he randomly look like an etch a sketch drawing – the eyebrows and funny penciled in beard….All I wanted to do was shake the grains of magnetic magic and have him start all over…..

Did Kara insert clip in bangs last night? I secretly enjoyed them clip in or not.

Okay Ms. Abdul you waited patiently for eight long years, I understand you were giddy about it but may I remind you are the ripe age of 47 and have no business cat crawling around a stage with 65 million viewers as if you were Tawny Katan in a Whitesnake video in 1990 whipping your hair in a head banger circle all while in a random boustie circa “open your heart” video by Madonna. I also didn’t appreciate you even attempting to put in an earpiece and a microphone mouth piece when you had not ONE intention of using it – I caught you several times even forgetting to LIP SYNC the music…..Stick to the choreography – your menopausal body can’t not process both dance moves and vocals at the same time so please do not attempt again, go out on top and leave your cold hearted snake days behind you.

So after being completely dumbfounded by Paula’s obnoxious, age inappropriate behavior – I was then feeling unfulfilled when my personal icon Gwen stepped up on stage. Now don’t get me wrong NO DOUBT is probably in my top five favorite bands, especially LIVE – they are awesome – she is a nut and inspiring, however last night I felt like I wanted to put an oxygen mask over her Linda Carter like lips and just say breathe…….she was sooo out of breath, it appears little Zuma knocked some of the snot out of her and perhaps you got your pre-pregnancy body back but you have not recovered your pre pregnancy pipes and it made me sad – especially to ruin such a great song! And I just can’t help as great as Gavin Rosdale’s hair is, I still long for Gwen and Tony Kanal to get back together…….. I have “behind the music” to blame for that!

So the only silver lining to last nights show was dear ol’ Kris being saved from his Rock blunder and having him be around for the big man sandwich that will happen next week! How happy is Adam right now??????

Munson out.

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Rock on.....

Guess who is back on board…..ME……I will admit they were starting to loose me for a while, I am not sure if it is the sheer fact that the season is incredibly long or for the fact that the last few weeks haven’t been that interesting to me. But GAME ON…….why have they never had a rock week before…..LOVED IT, LOVED IT, LOVED IT!!!! I guess they always say don’t forget where you came from…..well my friends this is where I came from …….forget Maroon 5, Mary J whoever……Bring on the Zeppelin, Aerosmith, Stones…….I was doing some serious daydreaming of back in the day at the high school gymnasium…….so let’s get to it…..

My all time favorite quote last night came from Ryan after explaining that the singers will be doing solo’s and duets and then goes “WOW the judges really have their work cut out for them tonight” Ummmm are you kidding me? Yes they have to add two extra comments most likely only one worth while listening too…..WOW your right that is a lot of stress and “hard work” you should consider “upping” their salaries to 20 million a show…..Ridiculous!

Did anyone catch Paula constantly trying to text under the desk? Annoying – seriously let your pill dealer off the hook for one hour while you tape this show…..Did anyone catch she finally admitted to a pill addition this morning on the news…..wah wah wah…..

So I don’t get it – Yes I think Slash is super talented, but shouldn’t they have an actual SINGER mentor these young chickens? First a movie director, than an actor from In Living Color, and now a guitar hero??? I am just saying These folks are on this show to SING not just be Hollywood icons………so other than the head of pubs I had to stare at last night that is really my only beef with Slash……the guy has mad skills and one large head of pubic hair!

Adam - Now this was one cassette tape I remember running into the ground – who can’t relate some childhood memory to a Led Zeppelin song??? So I thought it was a great song choice – he sounded good, performed well as he always does, I felt like there wasn’t as much skretching, or it was less obvious because it is suppose to happen in this song as opposed to “somewhere over the rainbow” So honestly I was really getting “over” Adam, but last night suited him and I am semi back on board. What I am not on board with is Kara getting way overzealous and calling him out as a “Rock God” WHOOOOAAAHHH Horsey simmer down he is just some punk kid on a TV show right now…….that status must be earned in the real world where you have to work to fill stadiums and po dunk bars and not have Kara Dia…something hand you those rights.
I did enjoy Adam giving a shout out to the Teal eyeliner era…..ahhh those were the days.

Alison…..I liked when she needs hair help she turned to Adam…..sad and pathetic that Adam has a “person” who is he H&R block – don’t tell me you have people. I think she sounds great – she should have picked a more popular song, but she just sounds great and I think more and more she deserves to be there I would buy her CD in a heartbeat if I would think I would have the opportunity to ever get rid of the nursery rhymes that play in my car on a non-stop loop and actually listen to a CD of my own. Guarantee whoever wins this shin dig – Alison will climb that ladder of success while Adam goes back to being a cast member in Rent.

Kris/Danny Duo……They sounded good together although I feel like Kris fell in the shadow of Danny’s louder raspier voice. Now can we talk about why the men feel like it is necessary to wear 10 lbs of silver dog collar inspired jewelry………yuk.

Kris – Now this little looker is let’s just say not the “strongest Rock voice” in the bunch…..didn’t think he sounded amazing, but didn’t sound awful either……I am VERY sad to say that I think he might have met his demise this week, unless that smile will carry him through.

Danny – Now I was a bit confused by the “business rock” attire he was trying to sport last night…..Let’s not just come out belting Aerosmith in a pint striped vest and pants and a iridescent lavender shirt with 12 dog collars on?? I was in total confusion when I saw him…..Ummm hello how about throwing one down for Mr. Tyler and grabbing a scarf to tie around that microphone or a pair of ripped up jeans, a leather jacket anything anything that screams I am going to belt out a rock anthem not go make a trade on wall street. So as much as his outfit hit a sour note so did his voice – I think this week was the first week that his vocals were brutal – the screaming was painful…..I don’t think it is enough to see him take a walk but it might.

Adam/Alison duet – other than Adams painted on Beatle juice pants and camel balls….. I thought it was pretty flawless…….

Bottom two – I don’t think they can have a bottom three with only 4 folks…..
Danny and Kris with (sniff sniff…..) Kris going home.

Munson out……