Wednesday, May 20, 2009


Okay friends, Well I have to admit I was a bit surprised and to be honest after cheering on Kris whole heartily for most of the season - I will have to dig down deep and admit that I felt like Adam was a bit cheated. Trust me Kris is good and I can't wait to see what he does with his title, but I think I was taken back by his almost "too humble" celebration - I mean really "Adam deserves this" humble is cute but you just WON - 100,000,000 people voted for you - that is insane - how about a fist pump or a HELLS YEAH or a SUCK IT ADAM take your SQUEAL and go home......I mean I know that isn't who he is, but just some sort of RAW emotion would have been nice. It left the end a little fizzled for me.

With that being said - HOLY CRAPPER - They pulled out all the stops didn't they?? I was seriously more entertained by this finale than I have been by the last 5 years or Grammy awards! WELL DONE Simon Fuller! It seriously puts into perspective that I didn't waist those 762 hours on my couch for nothing!! I seriously could be awake for another 4 hours recapping all that I enjoyed from tonight, but my stupid right sided brain that must sit through an 8 hour accounting seminar is telling me that I must get rest to listen to debit/credit talk all day..... So I will try to bullet point this the best I can.....

1. Randy why did he dress up like P Diddy's butler - really is URKEL that much of an icon that you must present us with a HUGE crooked VELVET bow tie?
2. Paula - Loved how they stuck the vocabulary retardedness to her! That could have filled the two hour show in itself.
3. So as the final 13 were performing it was amazing to me all the folks I had so quickly forgot - it was as if I went back to the winter 2009 class reunion...."oh my good oil rigger guy, you look exactly the same......oh munchinci you are still butt scrawny, Megan you still have your absurd arm lady tattoo and think you are Ella Fitzgerald" So good to connect with my old homies.
4. David Cook - Kudos for being such a class act and put together!
5. Best Male - Norman - oh my little Norm once again had me laughing out loud and practically peeing in my pants - Words cannot describe the happiness I felt when I saw you rip off your hoodie and get into character! And ending it with a "peace out" priceless my loved one!
6. Just wondering why they didn't have Scott perform with Queen Latifa? Why does it have to be so obvious and be Lil rounds? Is having an enormous ass a prerequisite?
7. Keith Urban - Newsflash it is now time to move on from the junior section and shop for shirts in the MEN's section - may I suggest that you leave Ambercrombie and Aerostople to the prepubescent boys....... or at least purchase an adult size shirt.
8. Fergie/girls - ummm Megan you butchered it and sounded like junk - I didn't miss that voice for a minute.
9. Black eyed peas - LOVED every minute of the performance - the creepy black and white costumed dancers, Fergie looked wicked hot, Sounded good lot of spunk - I am just saying....
10. Bikini Girl - I applaud Ryan for calling out the new and improved enhancements on this chick - It was the first thing outta my mouth the moment she walked out!
11. Kara - OH NO SHE DIDN'T just flash herself in a bikini - totally floored that she did it and even more floored that she has that body under there. Bitch.
12. Allison/Cyndi Lauper - seriously did any one want to just tell Cyndi to shut up and let Allison sing the song alone. I did. Allison my young one - you are going places!
13. SO last night Kris mom looked sooooo gorgeous but tonight hussy/whore came to mind - inappropriate dress for her - didn't like it one bit.
14. Adam - well well well - I have been telling Chris for a week that the Press reported KISS to be in the finale and he told me NO WAY - I would know about it if they were.....low and behold there they were - so great. And with the plethora of stars that have been on it so far Chris finally says "wow they really aren't messing around" when KISS comes on as if everyone else was chump change. I mean yeah Kris you get up there with Keith and just have a few guitars.....BUT Adam why don't you head out with KISS and we will shoot off some fireworks, have an elevated stage to bring down the band, some smoke, we will break guitars we will have crazy costumes.....I mean totally fair and comparable right?
15. Rod Stewart still sounds good - but frail and weak like an aids patient NO?
16. Tatiana - oh vey.... I guess it had to happen, but really do we need to bring up such unhappy memories on such a memorable night?
17. Queen - thought KRIS and ADAM sounded great together!
18. Adam - honestly I felt like you got the rug pulled out from under you a bit tonight but perhaps you deserved it since your final outfit change you decided to wear a classy black suit and ADD A BROACH TO IT!!

Well folks moral of this season.......apparently a sweet ass and a perfect smile can take you far in life - Congrats KRIS! This cougar will be waiting for your CD to Drop!

It's been fun folks......but I am not going to lie there is that list of 178 million projects that I am really excited to get to that I have put on hold since JANUARY!!!!

Munson out

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Toss up....

Okay folks - I am going to keep this short and sweet. I think they are both deserving. If I were basing it strictly on performances from last night I would have to retract and admit Adam should walk away with it, but if I am basing what I would want to throw into my CD player on a long drive to take my mind off things, I will definitely have to say Kris should take the honors. I think it is all going to come down to how many of us lazy folks that grew up in the 80's and really appreciate Adam's "style" will get up off the couch and actually vote - because I am telling you what that SWARM of 10-14 year old girls have already texted and phone beyond every one of their calling plan contracts! So Kris still might stand a chance.
Some highlights from tonight:
1. Not real sure why Randy choose to dress up like MR. Belvidere on crack? Not sure what he was going for with the polka dots, checkers, & plaid all combined.
2. So Yeah I did pause and actually count - Simon didn't decide to start buttoning until the fourth button down - REALLY? You dress up for one show and you have to come out parading with glitter balm on your freshly manicured chest and act as if you just finished a drink at the "man hole"? Did Axel Foley in Beverly Hills Cop teach you nothing "This is not sexy....scruff like dog" (that might be a little far fetched but those of you who remember are giggling right now.)
3. Paula had lets say a lot of "low hanging fruit" going on last night - I was waiting for some malfunction to happen - but the only malfunction that ever happens with her consistently is when she opens her jaw....
4. Did Kara look strickened and frightened the entire night - her jaw was locked tighter than....well I am not sure cuz it's practically 10 o clock and I have no jazzy comparison, but let's just say she had some fierce butt hole lips kicking all night.
5. Adam - I thought the second song that everyone was so impressed with was nauseating and not sure what boat I missed on that one.
6. Kris' mom - how cute did she look - super classy and well played Mrs. Allen!
7. Kris - what are you doing making your mom a music coupon gift only a few years ago? I know you might be just starting out as a newlywed and making ends meet but for the love of coupons - I think you could have stepped it up and got her some isatoners.
8. Kris' mustache is getting a bit fu man chu for me....
9. I am glad the song they wrote for the winner was at least anthem like......not a la Taylor Hicks love ballad while the confetti falls - still angry over that one. But it was too big for Kris, he didn't sound the best at it.

Like I said it's a toss up which makes it fun until tomorrow night where we will have to invest the final 28.9 hours on the finale.

Munson out.

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Smiles all around......

"And I'm proud to be an American......." I am so glad I can count on you to make the right decision and you did last night - at least in my book! Danny had to go, the final with him and Adam was too OBVIOUS....I know they all ax like Adam is a shoe in.....but I think this little pumpkin is going to give him a run for his money - he surely bitched slapped Danny with a little reality last night!

So yes quite ridiculous, but it is 8:30pm the day after and this is literally the first time I have logged onto a PC today......ugh - I won't bore you with the ugly details but just get on wit bid-ness.......

Some highlights from last night....

1. KRIS KRIS KRIS - I was so fired up last night I caught myself doing an arm pump and mouthing "yeeesssss" all my my lonesome on the couch....It wasn't a proud moment, but needed to happen.
2. Did Paula forget that randomly she was on a show with 88 million viewers? Why did she feel so high and mighty to show up 3 minutes late.....Paula I am telling you take five extra minutes and wipe the coke dust off your nose a little earlier and get to you one hour job that takes place two days a week on time, for the love!
3. Alisha - when did she take the corn rows out and become such a beauty? looking good my sista!
4. Noah (the little boy from Africa) okay this guy was quite the jumping bean....the dancing cracked me up....I felt like he thought he was still in the village swatting flies away (uncalled for I know but really who dances like that) He was cute as poop and I tell you give him another month and he will be all pimped out with a gold grill and a mink coat....I am just saying his first performance in front of millions of people - what do you expect him to go back to loom basket weaves and carry fruit on his head.....Noah will say a big no way to that.....I'm in LA and I am staying!
5. Danny - were his parent's pissed? So he gets this whole home town parade and he just says thanks mom and dad for raising me but I think I will bring my pal Jamar in the convertible with me.....If that was my kid I would have thrown Jamar in the trunk and taken my rightful place on the back of that car with MY KID!
6. Kris - Okay you know my deep love for this perfect teethed individual....but I was secretly frightened last night does he have a Robert Patterson Twilight ear?? one seemed awful pointy and stuck to his head - I hope I just imagined it.
7. I loved how they panned 3 cm away from Kris' dad's if they were really catching an ah ha moment.....
8. Kris - did anyone notice there was not one male at the hometown concert for him......all ladies and all trying to get them some!
9. Adam - so he had a streaker - a little over the top - but secretly I think he would have been happier if the streaker was a guy......
10. Who are these grown men screaming as if John Lennon just walked out on stage asking for Adam to sign their shirts.....focus up grown ups and let the kids do the embarrassing stuff (I'm sure if was for his kid though - wink wink)
11. Jordan Sparks - when did she become a larger version of Toni Braxton - I thought she looked good! But not sure the poltergeist ending was necessary.
12. A friend brought this one to my attention - Why did Katy Perry sound worse than both Adam, Kris, & Danny combined - but is a millionaire from selling cds - she sounded bad last night and she should stick to kissing girls......or being "airbrushed" for radio! oh and thanks Katy for being so discrete on who your voting for!

Okay so as you all know couldn't be happier with the results and Look forward to next week!

Munson out.

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Three Amigos.....

Well here we go folks….it’s down to the wire but someone has to go….and for a moment I would like to emulate Paula in a few ways and say I am proud of all three guys and they all have careers ahead of them……and they are all winners to get this far, what I would not like to emulate is have it be known to America that I wear 14 lbs of foundation and makeup that one quick hug onto Simon’s white BVD and a ¼ of it remained on his shirt for the duration of the show…….I thought Simon was chaffing and straight up bleeding from the nipple only to be relieved that it is just half of Paula’s face rubbed onto him…phew…..and yuck.

Danny – I will have to end our Kansas City airport love affair right here and right now….I am sorry – but you need to go home tonight. I have been a big fan of yours from the start and you have a very talented voice, don’t get me wrong, but you are what we like to call a one trick pony……a Taylor Hicks syndrome if you will…….good but same ol crap every time. Did anyone know that Terrance Trent Darby had another song besides “wishing well?” Well he shouldn’t have. Danny also needs to leave so I no longer have to look at that “getting too thick” beard of his, Who does he think he is? Hugh Jackman? FYI the Wolverine look is not working for you. I hope to say goodbye to you……Forever.

Kris – Who would have known from week one when I “advised” a friend to put him in the bottom three of all the guys in Hollywood that I would fall head over heals for this guys talent as well as his bedroom eyes……I mean let’s face dark horse – hell yeah….but I feel like I have to give this guy credit – I mean he is quite talented….the piano and the guitar, ability to change up songs, and the ability to act like a NORMAL human being….I know Ryan has alluded to his humbleness several times, but I tell you what that trait resonates deeply for me…..It makes you like him and it makes you want to cheer for the normal!

Adam – On the flip side of normal……let’s first start by discussing the tongue and how much it makes me want to hurl……Its fat and white and flailing out in every which way when he belts out into his “scream” it’s inappropriately panting like a dog that just found out he gets to go for a car ride. Adam do us all a favor pick up that creepy horse tongue and throw it back in your mouth where it belongs. Along the same lines as Danny, I am loosing luster as much as everyone claims he is so cutting edge and can’t wait to see what he is going to do next I don’t find it as much as a surprise – every week it goes something like this….
Adam walks out slowly and shines under a bright blue moon beam.
Adam sings softly and slowly keeping the audience on the edge of their seats as to what he will do next….
And with no twists, he then pumps it up and starts his 80’s head bang scream even when it isn’t appropriate.
Stage hands cue fog and smoke machines…..
End of story.
The only twist I saw last night was that he wasn’t draped in rocker black garb but rather a straight up stoned washed shirt and jeans – ummm can someone please advise me….should I be holding on to my stone washed denim from 1985 they are currently marked for an upcoming g-sale and now I am completely stressed over this decision I will have to make. #1 do I keep them or #2 do I mark them up since they are so vintage and now in style….ugh just one more thing to bog me down!
My last little tidbit with Adam was his final comment on how he is “honored to be in the presence of the other two” Someone please knock some fear into this guy…why does he feel it is necessary to spout off a speech as if he was at the Oscars and in the running with Meryl Streep, Kate Winslet, & Brad Pitt. I am just saying step off Kris’ humble coat tails.

I ended up the night pretty depressed last night as they announced it was the 300th show….WOW really I have plopped my fat rear down on the couch and stared at the tube for 300 episodes…..that is devoted or straight up pathetic!

Danny out tonight (I hope)

Munson out

Thursday, May 7, 2009

No Girls Allowed!!

Poo poo to the boys only club – I was disheartened last night and REALLY felt like Allison should have made it through. Not that Danny sucks and should be booted to the curb, but based on his last performance he deserved to go more than her. So be it, perhaps seeing Daughtry last night will be an inspiration to her that even if you are sent home packing before you should have you can still make a name for yourself. Speaking of Daughtry does he randomly look like an etch a sketch drawing – the eyebrows and funny penciled in beard….All I wanted to do was shake the grains of magnetic magic and have him start all over…..

Did Kara insert clip in bangs last night? I secretly enjoyed them clip in or not.

Okay Ms. Abdul you waited patiently for eight long years, I understand you were giddy about it but may I remind you are the ripe age of 47 and have no business cat crawling around a stage with 65 million viewers as if you were Tawny Katan in a Whitesnake video in 1990 whipping your hair in a head banger circle all while in a random boustie circa “open your heart” video by Madonna. I also didn’t appreciate you even attempting to put in an earpiece and a microphone mouth piece when you had not ONE intention of using it – I caught you several times even forgetting to LIP SYNC the music…..Stick to the choreography – your menopausal body can’t not process both dance moves and vocals at the same time so please do not attempt again, go out on top and leave your cold hearted snake days behind you.

So after being completely dumbfounded by Paula’s obnoxious, age inappropriate behavior – I was then feeling unfulfilled when my personal icon Gwen stepped up on stage. Now don’t get me wrong NO DOUBT is probably in my top five favorite bands, especially LIVE – they are awesome – she is a nut and inspiring, however last night I felt like I wanted to put an oxygen mask over her Linda Carter like lips and just say breathe…….she was sooo out of breath, it appears little Zuma knocked some of the snot out of her and perhaps you got your pre-pregnancy body back but you have not recovered your pre pregnancy pipes and it made me sad – especially to ruin such a great song! And I just can’t help as great as Gavin Rosdale’s hair is, I still long for Gwen and Tony Kanal to get back together…….. I have “behind the music” to blame for that!

So the only silver lining to last nights show was dear ol’ Kris being saved from his Rock blunder and having him be around for the big man sandwich that will happen next week! How happy is Adam right now??????

Munson out.

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Rock on.....

Guess who is back on board…..ME……I will admit they were starting to loose me for a while, I am not sure if it is the sheer fact that the season is incredibly long or for the fact that the last few weeks haven’t been that interesting to me. But GAME ON…….why have they never had a rock week before…..LOVED IT, LOVED IT, LOVED IT!!!! I guess they always say don’t forget where you came from…..well my friends this is where I came from …….forget Maroon 5, Mary J whoever……Bring on the Zeppelin, Aerosmith, Stones…….I was doing some serious daydreaming of back in the day at the high school gymnasium…….so let’s get to it…..

My all time favorite quote last night came from Ryan after explaining that the singers will be doing solo’s and duets and then goes “WOW the judges really have their work cut out for them tonight” Ummmm are you kidding me? Yes they have to add two extra comments most likely only one worth while listening too…..WOW your right that is a lot of stress and “hard work” you should consider “upping” their salaries to 20 million a show…..Ridiculous!

Did anyone catch Paula constantly trying to text under the desk? Annoying – seriously let your pill dealer off the hook for one hour while you tape this show…..Did anyone catch she finally admitted to a pill addition this morning on the news…..wah wah wah…..

So I don’t get it – Yes I think Slash is super talented, but shouldn’t they have an actual SINGER mentor these young chickens? First a movie director, than an actor from In Living Color, and now a guitar hero??? I am just saying These folks are on this show to SING not just be Hollywood icons………so other than the head of pubs I had to stare at last night that is really my only beef with Slash……the guy has mad skills and one large head of pubic hair!

Adam - Now this was one cassette tape I remember running into the ground – who can’t relate some childhood memory to a Led Zeppelin song??? So I thought it was a great song choice – he sounded good, performed well as he always does, I felt like there wasn’t as much skretching, or it was less obvious because it is suppose to happen in this song as opposed to “somewhere over the rainbow” So honestly I was really getting “over” Adam, but last night suited him and I am semi back on board. What I am not on board with is Kara getting way overzealous and calling him out as a “Rock God” WHOOOOAAAHHH Horsey simmer down he is just some punk kid on a TV show right now…….that status must be earned in the real world where you have to work to fill stadiums and po dunk bars and not have Kara Dia…something hand you those rights.
I did enjoy Adam giving a shout out to the Teal eyeliner era…..ahhh those were the days.

Alison…..I liked when she needs hair help she turned to Adam…..sad and pathetic that Adam has a “person” who is he H&R block – don’t tell me you have people. I think she sounds great – she should have picked a more popular song, but she just sounds great and I think more and more she deserves to be there I would buy her CD in a heartbeat if I would think I would have the opportunity to ever get rid of the nursery rhymes that play in my car on a non-stop loop and actually listen to a CD of my own. Guarantee whoever wins this shin dig – Alison will climb that ladder of success while Adam goes back to being a cast member in Rent.

Kris/Danny Duo……They sounded good together although I feel like Kris fell in the shadow of Danny’s louder raspier voice. Now can we talk about why the men feel like it is necessary to wear 10 lbs of silver dog collar inspired jewelry………yuk.

Kris – Now this little looker is let’s just say not the “strongest Rock voice” in the bunch…..didn’t think he sounded amazing, but didn’t sound awful either……I am VERY sad to say that I think he might have met his demise this week, unless that smile will carry him through.

Danny – Now I was a bit confused by the “business rock” attire he was trying to sport last night…..Let’s not just come out belting Aerosmith in a pint striped vest and pants and a iridescent lavender shirt with 12 dog collars on?? I was in total confusion when I saw him…..Ummm hello how about throwing one down for Mr. Tyler and grabbing a scarf to tie around that microphone or a pair of ripped up jeans, a leather jacket anything anything that screams I am going to belt out a rock anthem not go make a trade on wall street. So as much as his outfit hit a sour note so did his voice – I think this week was the first week that his vocals were brutal – the screaming was painful…..I don’t think it is enough to see him take a walk but it might.

Adam/Alison duet – other than Adams painted on Beatle juice pants and camel balls….. I thought it was pretty flawless…….

Bottom two – I don’t think they can have a bottom three with only 4 folks…..
Danny and Kris with (sniff sniff…..) Kris going home.

Munson out……

Thursday, April 30, 2009

Back to the dueling piano you go......

Well America – You got it right and thank goodness you did – I feel like Alison is so much more deserving of that spot and good for all of you for recognizing it! So here in list format are some things I enjoyed, found amusing, or noticed from last night…..

Ford Commercial – that Adam was always last in the running race….and it just made me flashback to the interview with his dad where he said “Adam and sports not so much…….” With a look of disappointment – made me giggle.

Ummm $6K to clean up a food fight – sign me up! I will mop that b-s*** up!

Does Paula own enough Vaseline to fight off the chub rub that she is going to be experiencing from those two cantaloupes rubbing together all night?

I truly appreciate Ryan calling out Randy as a name dropper and then all of them hopping on board to fuel the fire!

If I can look 1/3 as hot at Natalie Cole did last night when I am in my mere 50’s (or even now for god’s sake!) I would be a happy camper! Who does she think she is with those legs…..Watch out Tina Turner!

Taylor Hicks sort of surprised me – I actually really enjoyed the slim trim look, the performance and the song…..perhaps it was because he laid off his signature “hey” with the head jerk action. And why were his shoes 12 feet long?

I truly enjoyed the popping of Adams ego as he was “shocked” and “horrified” that he was in the bottom three – I think he deserved to be – perhaps when he grows up and allows his balls to drop he can hang with the big boys.

Okay Jamie Foxx – Now if I wanted to listen to a computer generated voice for 3 minutes I would turn to our resident expert….Britney Spears……Why in the world would you go this route and become that “artist” so annoying we all saw Ray we know you can sing but instead you opt to say hook me up to that synthesizer and let me lip-sync away? This is what is wrong with our youth – they probably all loved it – they are probably like wow he sounds just like my cell phone…….cool.

Finally I really enjoyed when Matt and Adam were giving their congratulatory goodbyes – Matt goes in for a handshake and Adam goes in for a smooch on the cheek…..umm guess everybody likes different stuff.

Farewell my fellow bronco…….it was your time to go…..See you on the tour.
Munson out!

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Rat Pack....

First of all are we seriously STILL watching the same season?? I have this feeling like it is really never going to end and then I heard the news - the FINALE in three weeks, happy and sad all at the same time. Happy that this madness will finally be over and sad that I might just have to go do something productive with my life on Tuesday and Wednesday nights.......

So I am sure Mr. Sinatra is eternally grateful for one Jamie Foxx speaking for him and explaining to these youngsters what the era was really all about. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?? #1 I had no idea he was this big recording artist, yes I have seen him in Ray and yes he was really good, but "pop star" really?? Have I been living under a rock? All I am saying Oscar or not, anyone that used to play a character called "ugly wanda" & "handyman" (handy man might be David Alan Greer) but non the less he doesn't deserve to teach and relate the Rat Pack era to our young ones.......

Kris - So yeah Jamie said he would record an album with him, of course he would........he will do anything to get back "in the game" so to speak after making "booty call" Kris was good it was plain, simple and to the point. Great vocals and I think this little puppy dog is making a great impact on America.....Stay humble and ride it all the way to the bank my friend!

Alison - Well I think this is the best she has looked and sounded this season. Now her outfits aren't always body appropriate, but it was a decent put together look and I really enjoyed it. I am not sure why Kara went all Ghetto on her ass "girl" "I ain't never heard" - is it because she just follows Randy and stays on course with his ebonics? Not sure but Kara honey those phrases sound ridiculous coming out of your silver spooned mouth.

Matt - Well well well - President Diether H. Haenicke is rolling over in his grave to give a big thumbs up - Thanks for giving a shout out to good ol' WMU! Matt sang Sweet Valentine, it was okay but I don't think good enough to keep this kid around. I mean is it too much to ask to smile or share a light hearted joke while talking with Ryan - I mean no doubt this guy is nervous but make some sort of connection other than "holy shit I am going to be in the bottom three again" look. Speaking of valentine - what is with Paula's Valentine day massacre dress???

Danny - He was good - not as FANTASTIC as all the judges gloated about but good enough to stick around.....I don't know about you but when Simon talks about swagger it just doesn't have the same connotation when Kara talks about it.....I find it quite creepy.

Adam - Okay seriously how many times has this guy "closed" the show - I feel like it is a bit unfair for him to always have the light show, firework finale......Okay yes, he is interesting, but I challenged myself last night.......I asked myself if I could listen to all 12 songs he sang all season long in a row and not kill myself? And honestly I don't know if I could without a LARGE bottle of vino and a Costco volume sized Extra strength Tylenol on hand. The hair band scream is wearing on me folks - I might be aging myself......but ugh it is painful to listen to sometimes. - I enjoyed that Paula made the M. Phelps reference that I spoke of last week........NICE.

That is all folks - I wasn't wowed or blown over by any particular one - because I think everyone is good it is hard to find that much fault at this point......

Bottom three - Matt, Alison, and YUP ADAM!!!!!! - Matt going home.

Munson out..............................

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Another TWO bite the dust......

So thank you for listening – I quite enjoyed the full 70’s gear outfits last night during the group performance. As most of you know I am all about a “theme”! But honestly are the microphones and earpieces necessary when the lip-syncing is so blatant and obvious?

So it appeared to be the choreographer’s dream of one washed up Paula Abdul coming to fruition last night – It was her crowning moment she has been waiting for ever since her cold hearted snake video in the early 90’s. No doubt she has talent in this arena, but there is a little word I would like to introduce to Ms. Abdul it is called “humility” I mean it was as if she won Miss Universe up there….. the hydrangea bouquet, the tightly glued together palm wave, the ridiculously inappropriate glitter t-shirt worn as a dress…….Paula act like you have been there before and don’t get so much enjoyment out of putting a little routine together for 7 random soon to be nobodies remember where you came from and do not falter from your illustrious career as a laker girl and dancing with that imaginary cat in “opposites attract” J

Anywho……I truly feel like the Ford people have run out of ideas – the commercial/video was so lame and stupid (not to say all others are academy award winners) but I feel like their producers are in a serious writers block….didn’t enjoy it one bit.

Okay so I don’t think any of us were that shocked or disappointed by last nights results. It is what it is and now I feel like it is GAME ON……It will be interesting how these boys and bozo battle each other for the top spots.

Now my heart doesn’t normally have a soft spot for people that are just ridiculous, but seriously I felt so bad for KC last night that I wanted to fully yell at the screen and tell him to run off the stage RUN KC RUN……..Come on dude hang it up your pipes are corroded and strained. It was as if I was listening to a toddler singing……it was as if he used his last dying breath on every single syllable. KC I hate to tell you but you have lost it…….The voice……The waistline…..Any sort of edge you might have once had with that stupid earring…..Your hairline Let’s face reality and just simmer back down in your lazy boy and get back to the bag of cool ranch Doritos you were munching on before Fox called you for your hopefully FINAL guest appearance.

David Archuletta – did he shrink or was he always a “little person” WOW I forgot how tiny that boy was! I however missed his Dad in his brown canvas baseball hat and camping shirt……Our little David has really grown up and finally can go with out a chaperone………I’m a big kid now!

Munson out…………………..

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Disco - sucks!

Ummmmmmmm when did George Hamilton pull a Benjamin Button and start hosting American Idol? – Ryan’s tan is getting more absurd by the week - I am afraid for his melanomic induced skin…….it is starting to age him and I don’t appreciate the orange smiley face creepishly staring at me for an hour each Tuesday……Tone it down Seacrest……And seriously when does he find the time in between his 478 jobs he holds down to get to the tanning booth?

Another color induced thing I noticed last night, now let me preface… I have a bit of a teeth fetish, meaning they must be large straight and all must be aligned in a straight row, so this comes as no surprise at how much this grossed me out…..but Mr. Jackson thought he could get away with only bleaching his top grill and left his bottoms completely yellow and disgusting as if he rubbed tobacco and coffee on them for 3 straight hours…..ugh if your going to go through the trouble to whiten the tops to the shade of white puffy cotton than please repeat for the bottom! Check it out tonight it is nasty. Now I was not at home when I watched last night so hopefully it wasn’t due to the TV that I was watching it on, I will verify tonight on my own tube…….

For as much as Disco was the theme last night , it didn’t appear that anyone broke it down and got on top of that funk…….So just a-yite for me. I don’t know why I expect someone to step out in a big fro and glitter as if they were walking in Studio 54, but a little something from that era would have been nice…..

Lil – wow they are really setting her up to get the eff out of Dodge…..I thought she sounded okay, not great, and it appears that she is “forcing” the “be young and connect to your audience” thing… just isn’t coming naturally to her. I am sure we will hear the race card issue be dropped shortly. I will have to give her props for her bravery last night – really a straight up Uni-tard? Now I know this is exactly what I was asking for as it is indicative of the era, however there was so much TOE kicking that I couldn’t concentrate. It was like an entire HOOF staring at me! Did anyone catch Lil’s Mom ready to beat some serious ass when the judges gave their review….She frightened me.

Kris – Okay seriously awesome. Loved every minute of it. Mr. Cowell please take note this is the CORRECT way to wear a plain white T – no scoop or V-necks just plain and simple and damn sexy…….not sure what Paula’s ramble about girl shopping and undies was all about – but all I am saying is if he is looking for some grunders – I WILL work hard for the money…..I am just saying!

Danny – Ummm what is with the George Michael facial hair? When someone is caught doing lewd acts in public bathrooms it is not a good sign that you are trying to look like that said person. I didn’t find him as “amazing” as the judges did – Yes he is good – but I am almost getting sick of the raspy groggily voice. His performance was boring and kinda lame.

Alison – Did she “paint” on her leggings or did she actually attempt to squeeze something that tight onto her legs – it gave me cramps just thinking about it. I also was experiencing aching in my arches as I watched her dance in those stilts she was wearing. Apparently I need to start shopping in the adult puffy paint sweatshirt woman’s department where there are rows of elastic and isles of Danskin bootie footwear…..Getting old is a treat I tell you! She sounded good and I am enjoying that the hair shade is going from Pink to orange – perhaps next week we will see the orange to brown transformation!

Adam – Okay I have had it up to here with them stroking his EGO… is absurd. Why don’t they all just walk up on stage and bend over for him? I am sure he would be more appreciative of that gesture than the nice words……..I mean yes he is good but it’s not as if we are watching Elvis or Bon Jovi or something….. And the ridiculous look of pride on Paula’s makeup caked face is too much. They pan to her welled up eyes as if she is Mrs. Phelps watching Michael go for the 8th gold medal……. And I can’t really let the peacock faux hairdo go unnoticed, there was really nothing faux about it – it had so much volume and thickness to it that I thought it was going to spread its wings and fly right out of the Kodak theatre. Also the creepy diamond encrusted snake pinky ring is all too Liberace and OBVIOUS to me……

Matt – I thought he sounded great and really gave it his all, knowing his ass is on the line.
I will not deny either that the boy has some moves……I found it entertaining and good since he actually did the “disco” version. So poo poo to you judges for swaying America to vote him off after making a damn fine comeback in my mind.

Anoop – Now….when you already have two very large caterpillars above each eye, why would you go ahead and grow one on top of your lip as well?? I thought he was boring and uneventful – bye bye.

Oh yeah I almost forgot the fact that vinnie neil was there was all too embarrassing to address.....also the fact that him and his girl toy have the exact same highlights.......Can you say WASHED UP???

Okay so bottom three Anoop/Matt/Lil SOUNDS FAMILIAR huh (still bitter over the waste of time last week) with Anoop and Lil going home.

Munson out.

Thursday, April 16, 2009


So stupid – Do you mean to tell me I wasted two hours of precious time staring at one unattractive, creepy, greasy Quinton Tarantino for nothing? This whole save is sort of stupid towards the end, I can see in the beginning if someone like a Chris Daughtry gets eliminated before he should but seriously there are only 7 left and I will have to agree with Simon – Matt, as much as I want to see my little “Western Bronco” succeed he will not WIN this competition, he might have a career, but he is not walking away with the trophy so that is my point – why do we prolong the agony? It was as if the Tarantino week didn’t even need to exist (on many different levels!) So I was left disappointed and annoyed last night – it’s not like this “immunity” changes the game and causes some sort of sneaky strategy like in Survivor…..It just makes us listen to these peeps who we all know will eventually go home anyway for one more week. I feel cheated and bitter for many reasons which I will now list…..

I had to endure the horrific group dance to Maniac…..really of all the songs we pick Flash dance? How current and cutting edge….the producers are certainly not listening to the judges expertise as the continually beat a dead horse by saying “song choice is everything” I did however enjoy the movement of the group performance I think they used every ancillary item in the Kodak theatre besides the stage as a big eff you to Scott….I mean they were on stairs, the judges platform, scaffoldings, the audience it was as if they were all mouthing “look at me I am free!”

The camera men, please don’t just pan to Zac Effron for 3.5 seconds and then be done – gentleman please once you focus on that face of perfection there is NO reason, I mean absolutely no reason to move that camera anywhere else. And yes, even if he has a stupid ski hat on in the middle of LA in a controlled temperature environment there just are no excuses.

Seriously Zac and Kris in the same facility at one time– FOX what are you trying to do to all the middle aged mothers/cougars out there? Seriously, bordering on cruel.

Ali-son – oh I am sorry are we bothering you – did you not have enough time to rush over from yoga class to make an appearance on the nationally broadcasted, most watched show in America? What is with the straight up sweats she was wearing last night – I know we are in the age of comfort, but my little bozo the clown you have crossed the line.

Along the same lines – Randy are you having a tough long day? What is with the camera always catching him yawning and starring with his mouth agape? Were you stressed and flailing all day trying to gather Journey up for a reunion tour? Pull it together dawg it is one hour…….grab a red bull and focus up!

Miley – there is not enough time in a day for me to start up a rant on this little gum chewing hillbilly…..She is so annoying with her gown, nasal southern drawl, drowning in dry ice all while feeling it necessary to head bang during her love ballad.- don’t even get me started on this tween sensation……I will end up in a yoga class if I continue so I will leave it at that.

Jennifer Hudson – what a bad song…….I mean trust me I am a big fan and was right there with her screaming “I’m not leaving without you” in Dream Girls………but this song was annoying I felt like she was off key and then just started fumbling with her ear piece as a saving grace so she could blame it on something – I don’t think it was loose or falling out at all! But of course give the girl a break she practically lost her entire family this year – perhaps a few weak notes is excusable.

Okay maybe it is the accountant in me but I have a bone to pick with AI – we say the bottom 3 each week however I don’t feel like it is fair to have four there last night and misrepresent to the public. I mean last night you had Matt, Lil, Anoop, and Oh yeah Lil’s ass……seriously it needs it’s own separate stool and I think they should give out a separate text and phone number so we can vote that thing off separately from Lil herself……..

Okay Disco next week should be fun!

Munson out…………..

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Pulp Fiction, Kill Bill, & Resavoir Dogs Totally screams singing competition?????

Okay really a Legend?? I might have to disagree……Webster defines it as the following.

Archaic. a story of the life of a saint, esp. one stressing the miraculous or unrecorded deeds.

Nowhere in their definition does it confirm the following about Quinton Tarentino….
Make three decent movies and you are now considered a legend.
A person who looks like Crispin Glover/George Mcfly….automatically becomes a legend.
Just because you were the kid in the back of the classroom picking your nose and eating your own boogers and then became known in Hollywood do you automatically become a legend?
Just because you are obsessed with these kids making it, and become obsessed with the show, don’t make you a legend, I surely am not.
Just because you have a few catchy tunes in a few of your movies doesn’t make you a legend.
When you are under the age of 50 you should never be considered a legend, have you really put in your time by your late 30’s?

Another highlight for me was the constant panning to Katie Couric. I think she finally realized the only way for her to remain on Prime Time TV and not have the people change the station is to show up at an AI taping……I am just saying leaving the Today show was the worst decision EVER.

I would like to take a moment to really give Ryan props – the impersonation of Randy Jackson last night was uncanny and SO CALLED for – I am so glad he made him and everyone else MORE aware of what a TOOL he sounds like. You did me proud Mr. Seacrest!

Okay let’s get ready to RUMMMMMBLLLLEEEE……. I will have to first apologize for probably some incoherent rambling that might happen, you see last night was date night for Hubbie and I and after getting home at 11:45 pm (if you don’t know me that is unheard of and I am flabbergasted that I hadn’t turned into fairy dust at that point!) at any rate a few glasses of wine and a big gulp of caffeine at the movies somehow I felt it necessary and was completely alert to watch AI until 1am last night – but now I feel like Crap-o and might sound like it below as well… that is my warning……

Ali-“son” – I like her but let’s not get cocky I mean I don’t think you are at the level to start wearing one (like a Michael Jackson) glove that is Lacy (like Madonna) I feel like you have a few oats to sew before you are able to pull that one off……I felt like she “over sang” and was “shouting” a lot last night – but the judges seemed to love it, so be it. Do you all think her hair is a wig – it is so thick and seems to have a life of its own?

Anoop- okay you had me at “everything I do”, you see I have sort of a soft spot for Bryan Adams, he sang our wedding song – I know this is where it is straight out embarrassing to admit to our 1998 nuptials as if we got married in 1985 and rocked it out to Summer of 69. But it was one of his slow acoustic versions of “heaven” and I still love it to this day – so suck it all you “Endless love’s” and “At Last” romantics – I went old school 80’s with Bryan Adams and not ashamed of it. However, I might be ashamed to admit that my mother n law wore a Gene Simmons mask at the reception – yep sounds like your regular white trash BBQ J at any rate I think he sounded AWESOME and was proud of him…..He is however getting a little nutso with his style choices – I feel like he is confused and misdirected…..I think he can’t decide so he just says eff it I will wear all of it, including, a striped tie, a plaid shirt, Varsity football blazer with a Natzi armband….. WTF?

Adam – Okay do you think he and Pete Wentz talk about what they are wearing on a daily basis? I feel like they are too junior high kids talking like caddy chicks “OMG what are you going to wear tomorrow?” “OMG really I am going to wear my hoodie and skinny jeans too!” “See you in homeroom and don’t forget your guy liner we will definitely need to reapply by study hall” it kinda bugs me….. So as soon as the laser light show simmered down – I tried to reflect on this high pitched wonder….yeah he is entertaining but is he straight up annoying as well?? I feel like can he just get through one song without the AYYYIIIEEEEE scream (sorry that doesn’t translate well on paper!) but I think you all know what I mean, but I started thinking of my youth (way back when) and those high pitch screams are everything I loved about music back then and the reason I loathe so much current R&B today……So Kudos Adam, I have got your back (well I will stand in line behind all those other boys who definitely HAVE it too!) and I will support your metal hair band influence if it means a return to the 80’s era that I crave…

Matt – Again Bryan Adams – I wasn’t as mad as all the judges – but he did sound a bit out of breath and out of tune…. I was more concerned with when he sang “have you ever really loved…..a woman” all I could hear was “have you ever really ever seen ……Don Juan Demarco??” Sounds like an academy award winner. I also enjoyed Simon making fun of Kara talking as if she was throwing up – I think it seriously killed Simon not to have input on each contestant last night. And I can’t tell you how much I love to watch him egg Paula on…….

Danny - Endless love……(okay so maybe more of you can relate your own wedding experiences to this – so be it – you are a more sophisticated gal than I!) But honestly I was waiting for the BIG revel to come out that this was his late wife and his wedding song……I was waiting for the tear drop to fall from his eye when the last string on the harp was plucked…..I was waiting for him to finally remove his wedding band and place it gently on the piano in a heart wrenching symbolic moment…..but nothing…… just a nicely performed song with elegance and class all while wearing a powder blue Miami vice blazer…..Congrats Danny.

Kris – Yummy. That’s all I have – what do you expect at 12:50 am – I thought I was practically having a wet dream until Lil came onto the scene.

Lil – sang the Rose a classic if you will I though she sounded good – but I think the judges are trying to sway her outta there just because she doesn’t have the pull the others do for ratings…..And it seems like everyone is pulling off the skinny jean….. why is it when I try them on in the dressing room I can’t stop from laughing hysterically at myself?

Bottom Three Matt/LiL/Kris – with Lil going home.

Munson out.

Thursday, April 9, 2009

The "eyes" have it.......

Geez this little thing known as my job really got the best of me today….so I have to apologize for the delay…….So this might be short and sweet and hopefully I can get caught up from the spring break frenzy (the whole 2 days I took off haha!) and focus on what is important……like the following:

Can someone please regulate the thermostat in the Kodak Theatre – Paula seems to think she is Antarctica wearing full length elbow LEATER gloves…..Please folks we don’t want to do any damage to those phalanges – then we couldn’t watch her clap like a seal….a pastime I most enjoy…Or perhaps she is like George Castanza when he became the hand model and her insurance company is making her wear these to protect those tiny didgets that like to model her over weight bearing jewelry line……? These are just some angles….one more she is just straight up lunatic and think they look good with her outfit.
The mayor of K-Zoo….. Do we have another Kwame Kilpatrick on our hands?? What is a mayor doing in a dueling piano bar every week to witness what great talent Matt is and then randomly has enough time in his schedule to fly to LA and cheer on his old bar buddy…..I am just saying……I would think the people that voted for you were hoping you would actually do some “political” duties……
So no more awkward worry some moments….Scott has left and it was the right thing to do at this juncture. I know it is sad, but it was the best thing that could of happened for the competition to keep things fair….and more importantly lets bust out the …..full on dance recitals!! And the drama over the immunity idol was absurd – don’t ax like you would want to string this poor little guy along any further to make yourself feel better……If you love something set it free……
Flo-Rida – ummm WHO???? Okay I have heard the song before in the car but the name is just stupid can’t rappers just be named Bob? And wow how things have progressed over the years – back in the day it was “you spin me right round right round like a RECORD baby right round round round” now we have graduated to “you spin me right round baby right round while you go DOWNTOWN??” Ugh makes me want to not have my kids grow up EVER. I mean I am sure there were hidden (key word) meanings back in our day, but it is just blatantly obvious now and it takes the fun out of it….I sort of enjoyed that it took me a good 30 years to figure out what Frankie goes to Hollywood meant when he said “relax don’t do it”
Kelly Pickler – she is cute and darn skinny my friend, but why when she was done performing did she act like she just finished the Boston Marathon? She was so out of breath and winded that I thought she might just pass out. It’s not as if she had a whole backstreet boys dance routine going on – perhaps eat some protein and get a little bit of energy so you can actually complete your performance for a whole 3 minutes! And Also Ms. Pickler please say a little prayer tonight thanking Jesus for that face and body you were blessed with because that song and your voice were something rotten – I now remember whey she didn’t last on AI!

That’s all folks….
Munson out…..

Wednesday, April 8, 2009


Well, well ,well Comcast…..You may have duooped me once, but not this time, my very smart husband (self- pronounced) somehow had a premonition and decided to DVR the next show after AI, since we somehow seem to be getting cut off more often than not as AI usually runs over because of Paula’s diarrhea of the mouth. So I did catch Adam’s performance last night – so Touché – you will not win this time, although I wish you had Adam’s performance as you will hear below was not one to write home about even though Mr. Cowell gave it a standing O…….

So Kara last night – did her outfit look like every woman over the age of 80? You know that empire waist look where the woman’s slacks are hiked over the belly bulge and practically tucked under the bra as if it would possibly fall off those muffin tops full of retirement home slop…..I wasn’t a fan. I do however like how she is “more technical” (again self proclaimed) in her review and it just sends Paula into a sweat induced frenzy…….I like to watch it unfold, I enjoy the uncomfortable ness…..

Speaking of Paula…..Chris and I decided she is like a marionette, however her “handler” from above somehow is having seizures or is high on acid as he can’t control her spastic movements. Case in point the pure fact that she finds it necessary to get up and dance like “were going to party like it’s 1999” is on even when it is a slow subdued song proves that “her handler” needs medical attention he needs to get a grip so she doesn’t have arms flailing and her head rocking to the beat of “hells bells” while Scott is singing “the search is over” ……..

And a random note did anyone catch the creepy Max Hedrum wax figure in the audience? He was motionless and I couldn’t understand what the point of him was, I thought it might have been a statue of Ryan Seacrest, but there was no mention of it all show…..Bizarre.

Danny – 1980 – umm I don’t think “stand by me” came out in 1980, perhaps a remake was, but I think he should loose by default – I mean 1980 of all the songs to pick from………..Although he sings it good (like Paula usually says – he could sing the phone book) but I didn’t like his “version” and as a side note – I am sort of getting sick of this phenomenon of “your version” (insert Adam) – sometimes things are just good and don’t need to be changed (i.e. stand by me…..or a Reese peanut butter cup – now why would you make it whipped?) I would like to thank Danny for paying homage to the 80’s and wearing his bright purple shirt with pride last night!

Kris – 1985 – Ahhh a dream of a taxi driver – such aspirations…..haha thought that was really funny! Okay again SONG CHOICE – really 1985 and you pick “all she wants to do is dance” seriously put your vajay jay away and pick a real song (no offense Mr. Henley I am sure I have busted out a few “Carltons” from fresh prince to your song, but come on……) And they way he performed – ugh how much stage presence can you really have when you have a harem of 500 girls within 4 cm circumference of you? Annoying, who is he think he is Elvis? And I feel a bit sad to admit that it just might not work out for Kris and I after I realized he weighs about 93 lbs, I came to this terrible realization as I was inserting an ice cream sandwich into my mouth and then looking at his waist size, I might crush the poor boy…….I must bid you ado….my little anorexic sweetheart. I will have to enjoy you through vision only……

Lil – 1985 – Well she had the dance moves spot on last night – but that was about it….the vocals, as well as we all know she can sing, were not good – why isn’t this chick stepping it up – I feel like when she finally gets sent home she is going to be whipping up some mac and cheese at the stove and contemplating putting her head in the boiling water to end her misery as she realized she just screwed up an opportunity of a lifetime……And I am glad we gotten the name straightened out and I would like to thank my mom (as much as I didn’t like my name growing up) for taking more time in contemplating my name instead of taking my grandma’s name and just saying ummm we will take the first three letters and call it good……if that was the case I would be named DOT.

Anoop – Suck it Anoop – don’t kick us Michiganders when we are down – don’t come on there doing your Arsenio Hall arm pump and give shout outs for the NC Tar Heels…..we are still tender from the loss….. have some respect! So he sang True Colors – and boy did he deliver, I mean with the colors, blue shirt, pink tie, neon green and white cardigan……oh vey…..It was like Mr. Rogers on crack….He sang it well, and I loved the judges comment “you ACTUALLY have a good voice” Seriously I would hope so after 9 months of listening to him – I would hope he would have some sort of basis for being here. I also enjoyed all the pictures of him as a kid, as I can relate to taking way too many pictures of my kids, but I did realize something as I was laughing at all Anoop’s corny dress up outfits and how he hates pictures now, my son will also hate me for it too someday as I remembered I had Brady in a straight up tie today! Ha…..

Scott – 1985 Okay its getting uncomfortable, the bouncing while he sings, the random electric guitar ripping (was it a requirement that the guitar be from 1985 too?), all the eye references (“I can see forever… the search is over”), the crazy staring into wrong areas, the high pitch squealing, Ugh it has got to end. I am over the sympathy plea for him to continue, don’t get me wrong I don’t have a heart of stone, but enough is enough – he was able to share what he has, which is great, but it is time to return to home and get that job as a music teacher in your local elementary school. Even the judges still can’t criticize him without pre-empting with a compliment first…….It has to stop, yes he is blind but he isn’t the best anymore…….not by a long shot….hate me for saying it but it is true…… And Randy don’t just say to him “I want you to leap off the stage” he is still blind, and we have been nervous about that very situation from the start. Ugh.

Allison – 1992 – Okay who feels old?? ME!! I like how her mom calls her Ali-“son” as if she were getting training from Mr. Migiagi She is really good singer for 16 yrs old, there is no denying it – and I don’t know why they were so harsh on her for her likeability, she seems pretty Corny to me? One thing that I have let go for way too long is her style, I have let it slide and I am not sure why….is it the fact that she has pink hair is she automatically allowed to dress like a turd and no one say anything? But I have let it continue for too long no one in their right mind should be able to wear a ruffled, tiered, mullet skirt…..Enough is enough!

Matt – 1985 – who knew he was from Dearborn (so is the hubbie!) we will have to look him up in the yearbooks! He did Stevie Justice last night – I enjoyed it! Although he is borderline annoying with all the vibratos kicking……And yes Tom, I caught it this time – Paula “two words…..standing O” last time I checked “o” isn’t a word……and then the Marionette continued to flail and practically fall off her chair – she is a peach that one…..

Adam – well for those of you who caught it, I am sorry. He sang Mad World – which I actually had to get online to figure out what it was and why the F would Simon give him a Standing O – I don’t think Simon has ever gotten out of his chair before – Tears for Fears – apparently he stripped it down to a gay slow version of a terrible song to begin with. It was like listening to a four year old toddler whine for about 3 minutes straight. I wanted to yell at him and put him in a time out! Also wondering why Adam gets special treatment I mean every other contestant had some white lighting but when Adam got out there he straight up had blue laser beams sparkling down on the stage, can we please not make it so obvious who they are trying to carve out as the winner… least make the competition interesting…….And my final word for you Adam is there is a little known rule we all try to live by and it is… don’t wear white pants prior to Memorial Day.

Bottom three – Scott/Lil/Allison(not that I agree with it) – Scott to go home (in my eyes) but secretly I think it will be Lil.

Munson out…….

Thursday, April 2, 2009

Bye Bye Birdie....

Okay so be it, yes America she is a nice pretty face, a body to die for, hair that only we can dream about, but it was the right thing to do. Stand proud and do not falter. The other folks with a voice that we can all stomach to listen to for more than 3 minutes are very appreciative. So Megan took the fall last night – and rightfully so, she shared with us her bird calls (what is with that? I apparently am not in on the joke!), her annoying talking through songs, her standard hip shake dance move, but I think she used up her bag o’ tricks and had nothing else to give. She however is one quirky lady; she seems in her own world all the time and just like a quintessential party girl…..with that being said I can’t imagine how she ended up with a full sleeve of tattoos and a fetus in her belly while she was a teen?? Hmmmm……..

Last night’s group performance – I was so looking forward to it…..Scott tucked safely behind the keyboard, I thought this is a chance for the rest of the folks to turn up the heat with the choreography, but no go……There was just a lot of side stepping and arm sways – really? you leave the blind guy out and have an open slate and that’s all you got to show for yourself – I wanted to see line changes, partner dips, lifts – but apparently I needed to flip over to DWTS to get that sort of jazziness…….I truly think they missed their opportunity to show their stuff last night, but perhaps they are all just using Scott as their beard and hiding their inability to shake their groove thing. It was sad and disappointing.

David Cook – I was such a fan last year and still am and for the following reasons.
1. He kept it real and still gives his brother props with the AC on his guitar.
2. He has kept his bangs under control with an appropriate length of side swipe…..(if you remember he got a bit over zealous with the side swipe last season)(speaking of side swipe did anyone catch Adam’s blond haired friend – his side swipe started at the nape of his ear and went all the way around as if he was a mini Donald Trump – it was sooooo dumb looking…….I can only hope the crew cut comes back into style before my son is a teenager!)
3. He is taking care of his own…..his mom was sporting some MAJOR bling last night now that his son is rolling in it….
4. He has gone platinum and for good reason – kudos to you…..
However recently there are a few reasons why I could not like him in the future…..
1. The fact that his song last night wasn’t that amazing
2. The fact that his beard is a bit to Neanderthal.
3. The fact that he still loves chains hanging from any piece of clothing
4. The fact that he broke poor Kimberly Caldwell’s heart. Distance, smistance…..keep it real……
5. The fact that he has recently been outted for yelling at his fans and becoming a bit Hollywood…..

Okay so lets talk about the one zipper eyed crazo up on stage, she goes by the name Lady GaGa, which I am not going to lie, I enjoy her tunes on my I-POD regularly, they are fun catchy and are the ones that no doubt will stick in your head for the rest of the day…..But WTF was last night – she was outta hand. First of all the breakdown with the piano at the beginning – unnecessary – and did that piano belong to Andre the Giant – why did she look like Vern Troyer next to it? And the crazy dance moves – I could barely keep track of what was going on – so thanks but no thanks I will revert to my I-POD and enjoy your songs without the visuals.

Munson out.

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Popular Downloads.....

Seriously what does Fox think I am supposed to do with all my extra time? An hour an a half is all I had to commit last night – I am not sure how I feel about this….. what do they want me to do? Actually converse with my husband? Actually prepare for the next morning so it isn’t a total cluster? Actually do something productive… dare you FOX….shame on you!

Okay so first and foremost – did anyone catch David Spade sitting behind Randy Jackson last night…..okay I might get off target here but so be it…..I don’t get this little munchkin, he is getting more tail than I care to think about it – what do girls (insert Heather Locklear and Nicolette Sheridan here) see in this guy he is about 4 foot 2 and has creepy, inappropriate wind blowing hair and a gross foo man chu stache. Last night I caught him actually booing and getting really riled up over the judge’s comments – really?? booing and an actual “thumbs down” gesture – David I am embarrassed for you and don’t appreciate you preying on the young starlettes on stage go back to black book and continue banging every blonde with dark black roots that is over the age of 50 that lives in the Hollywood Hills…….Yuck. And then seated next to my little Joe Dirt was another popular star one Harry Hamlin – WOW FOX is really pulling out all the punches when they do their celebrity scanning across the audience…….I am impressed.

Randy – does anyone really care that he is here this year – he seems more worthless (if that is even possible) than last year. And great now he is jumping on the Sally Jesse red frame bandwagon – enough of the square shaped frames, someone change it up go old school, what happened to the big plastic frames that were presented to us in “Working Girl” that Melanie Griffith made me go out and purchase the next week?

Simon – now I haven’t spent much time on Simon – I mean you can only rip on a BVD white T for so long, but last night as the judges walked out and the blue light glimmered upon his high top fade – Chris and I couldn’t believe the right angles this square little haircut was portraying……I mean from the back (yes we freeze framed it) it looks like a box of cereal, what is going on and why must he not make it so Jazzy Jeff from 1987?

Paula not much to say other than why did she randomly have a pink and purple chandelier hanging from both her neck and ears last night?

Let’s roll…..

Anoop – okay Usher – I was excited for him to turn that mutha out last night and NO GO……Usher is known for his stage performances – he is a dance mogul (haha) and Anoop didn’t deliver the goods – I mean let’s face it – it’s not like this is an amazing song but Usher does it justice with his moves and enthusiasm…..Anoop, nada. I was more “caught up” in the chain that was dangling from one left shoulder, interesting choice.

Megan – OVER OVER OVER it……..Megan pack your hot a** up and head back to single mommy Ville. You are dunzo. She is so forcing this jazzy voice upon us even when it doesn’t’ apply – case in point last night. She seemed much undecided last night – The Song: I guess I will do one that I love, but don’t sound very good singing it. The necklaces: I can’t decide which one to wear so I shall wear all 18 of them. The hair: I want it pulled back – uh wait I think “the tail” is coming back leave one long braid down the side out. She was a total hot mess last night and I will be happy to see her go.

Danny – Excuse me while I take a break to remind myself to go by Kleenex to replace my supply I used last night. What do you think you are doing to us Mr. Gookey? We all know your wife passed away not too long ago and then you go ahead and sing a song that blurts out “what hurts the most” every 30 seconds. We feel your pain and I must congratulate you on working the sympathy vote, not that you need it you have a great voice, but it was sort of like Scott singing, “I can see clearly now….the rain has gone….I can see all obstacles in my way” low blow dude.

Allison – OK warning you WILL feel old after this little nugget – so she sang No Doubt, one of my favs, and said she “grew up” listening to it, now Chris figured out she was 3 when that song came out, and as I typed that another veracious vein popped out on my thigh. Wah wah wah… So Allison is a regular modern day Cyndi Lauper isn’t she, I thought she sounded great last night, but come on let’s not build up the stress level for playing the guitar in this performance when she literally strummed it three times and then wore it on her back the remainder of the song. And yes the outfit was straight up ridiculous, but it has been for 4 months now, why are they just picking it apart now? It would be more odd if she came out in a blouse and slacks (which by the way she has no idea what those two items are!) and I do…wah wah wah.

Scott – I also think he sounded the best he has since this thing started last night, but I am going to say he still needs to go – he can’t compete with the others at this point. I also don’t think he is being treated fairly, I mean is it really fair to use a Richard Marx’s headshot to style his hair? I think not. He almost had a full on Kentucky waterfall kicking last night, ugh they just can’t get it right. So much for keeping your friends close and your enemies closer. And I am SO glad Paula is proud of him, not for his challenge, but because forgetting his challenge…..thank you Ms. Abdul for being so clear and concise.

Matt – wah wah wah…..ugh the Coldplay esque keyboard performance was SO LAME! He sounded shaky and uncertain and I was really sad for him. I think this kid has talent but he has nothing to draw the folks in – he is a bit shy and stand offish….so I don’t think people like him, as well they shouldn’t after last night.

Lil – I actually liked the wig, but I kept thinking she reminded me of Gayle King, Oprah’s secretive gay lover. She sounded amazing last night – old song or not she was good. Now I know I have mentioned it before and I hate to be obsessed with it, but that backseat of hers is something special I tell you – I am like a deer in headlights always wondering if it is real or if she is stuffing with Charmin in case she has a fall on stage – CRAZY! And why did her kid cling to Randy Jackson as if she found her long lost baby daddy? And why was Lil tearing up as if to believe Randy would all of a sudden adopt her three children and they would live happily every after?

Adam – who does this guy think he is Eddie Munster, performing as James Brown? I will have to admit I am falling prey to his unpredictability. I enjoy how he changes it up every week (a little reminder of one David Cook) at least it is something to look forward to. I thought he was good energetic and loving life up there last night……I didn’t like how he overly enjoyed his “sexy” moves and over emphasized “ughs and umps” because all I kept thinking of was the story I just read about him and how he was caught with his tongue down another man’s throat, now that might work for some of you but I loose a bit of the “sexiness” with that little tidbit. Why did Paula become Confucius last night……”true genius doesn’t’ fulfill expectations, true genius shatters it” she has some amazing words to share. We should bow down to this oh powerful one…….

Kris – It pains me to say something bad about this little kitten, but please don’t try and have a five o’ clock shadow when you have five measly hairs on your upper lip. Let’s stick to clean cut so I can get back to my day dream PLEASE – he sounded good and yummy still! Like it. I enjoyed that Kara counted her words before speaking this time, Tom, I think they are all reading this and must have read your comment thank goodness you got her back on track!

Bottom three – Anoop, Megan, Matt – Megan going home.

Munson out…..

Friday, March 27, 2009

Back to the Oil Rig......

Okay I will have to apologize as I will not be able to do this in chronological order today there is just no way I can wait - so we must immediately fast forward and address this pronto......

Did Stevie really give a shout out in the middle of his medley "I LOVE YOU BARACK OBAMA" ? Well I can answer that, yup he sure did and you couldn't have missed it and I will be mad if you did, whatever I was eating or drinking at that moment went flying in a misted spray as soon as I heard it - I don't know if my gag reflux was due to laughing or embarrassment or just plain dumbfoundedness...... Now I get it, it is a very exciting time for his community as well as everyone else's, history has been made. Where I have a problem with this is this .........

#1. Does he really think the President of the United States of America is just sitting home watching AI and listening? And if he is WTF!
#2. I envisioned the President of the United States sitting at home all snuggled on the couch with Michelle, Malia, & Sasha (as only a perfectly rounded "normal" family would do) doing a chest/fist pump and mouthing "right back at ya Stevie" (because they are just a normal family that has a swing set.....) and then it angered me that this is what he is spending his time doing.
#3. So Stevie how dare you make our President be burdened with this show and your love letters to him while our country is in such a financial turmoil, the man is busy and cannot continue to cancel his cabinet meetings to make time for AI and your "shout outs" let the man get back to his "Hail Mary" and hopefully getting this country back on track.
#4. Lastly, this advice should usually always apply if you are a is not who of you to give love shout outs to other males while on national TV, president or not.

Okay then......thank you America for listening, as much as I think Michael is an all right guy he had no business being here at this stage of the game..... So I wasn't that distraught with the decision. However, I was extremely surprised that Megan coasted through unscathed. Shows you I am not the only one that enjoys watching her and having an occasional Callie/Grey's Anatomy moment. Also surprising last night was Matt, now being from his home state I would like to make a call to ARMS to all Michiganders to step it up and vote for this man, butterscotch chip or not he deserves to stick around a bit longer. Scott bottom three - yes I agree, but truly were they really going to send him home the night Stevie Wonder is performing, I am not much of the warm fuzzy gal, but that would just be cruel.

Rubie the Cubie.......ahhh it's been a LONG ass time, my wad of sweat. Do you think Clive Davis and Simon Cowell had a total show down where Clive was like "You will have him on the show and we WILL revive his sad sad career since winning the show, I don't care if no one remembers who he is" Dude this guy should have never won and all I could do was picture poor little Clay Aiken in his Sir Lancelot outfit from his Broadway show sitting on the couch watching Rubie, stroking his newborns head he had with his 60 year old manager, snuggling with his gay lover, crying hysterically and shouting "It should have been me!" (paints quite the picture don't it!) Ruben - he isn't bad but the sweating.....I can't take how it just pours down as if he was standing under Niagra you think he is related to Whitney Houston, another sweaty mo fo mess. All I am saying is that if you break out in a full on sweat from lifting the microphone from your hip to your mouth you might want to consider introducing your body to a little Jane Fonda video.......

Joss Stone and Smokey - Now I know I am not one with my inner "soul" and don't necessarily feel the groove often, but why did Joss look like she was convulsing in pain or on the verge of an orgasm for the entire song? I was afraid she just might hop up "on top of ol' smokey" (all covered with cheese) and go to town on him, and Smokey was singing so frailly that I thought he might break all together if Joss' hair accidentally whipped him in the abdomen.

Then I was quite confused because if it weren't for the braids I would have thought they sent Rubie back onto the stage, but low and behold it was one supersized Stevie Wonder! YIKES! He is always entertaining and his songs are timeless, a true pro. I was surprised that they didn't pan to Scott often during his performance - I felt like the producers and editors really missed an "ah ha" moment there...... Lastly I will not single out Kara for being the only one that was COMPLETELY over dramatically dancing to Stevie's medley, yep that is right Danny and Anoop I would like to call you out too, It is Stevie Wonder not Metallica and he is singing "Superstitious" not "Enter Sandman" I am just saying.......

Until next week folks.....

Munson out!

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Motown & "D" town........

Okay first things first Hittsville USA – Don’t promote it as if they are walking through the Louvre in Paris. I am just saying I have been on the Hittsville tour and not to downplay the amazing stories that came from there, but let’s be honest it is a total DUMP. I mean it is in the middle of projects and you feel like you will get a cap in your ass at a moments notice – I can just see these poor kids minds spinning “take me back to my mansion in Hollywood ASAP! I am afraid very afraid!” I would also like to share that my very own hubbie was a honorary temptation on our tour as I shoved him out onto the recording studio floor the moment they requested volunteers (he he) I got to see him do “du-op” moves and sing my girl…….So all in all it was worth taking the chance that I might fall victim to a drive by shooting just to witness him having to do this in front of the tour group. I will also add it was kinda cool to witness the silver beaded MJ glove……..however it didn’t make me tear up as one lil rounds did – and you know why – I will tell you why I knew I was heading back to my calculator to play with numbers for the rest of my life and not fulfill any dreams out on that stage like she will…….okay ENOUGH of my own personal sob story …..Onto bigger and better things……

Let’s spend some time on Smokey…..all I am saying why does he feel like it is appropriate to be possibly in his 60’s (?) and dress like Tony Hawk heading for the half pipe? The skater shirt, the hoodie, the vans… it was a bit age inappropriate. Also inappropriate was my thought that if you added a little MORE eyeliner and add a wig he would make a great woman…….I found myself analyzing his very female facial features…anyone? Anyone?

The Judges….
Paula – when did it become okay to come dressed up as Jon Benet’ Ramsey? I thought it was a bit tasteless. I think she is watching too much tiaras and toddlers on TLC, and now I am a bit tasteless for even knowing that show exists. And for the love of the disco ball on her ring – I will place bets that that thing opens up and a little known white powder is hiding in there…..just a hunch.
Kara – Just when I wanted to hug her and squeeze the snot out of her for finally coming out of her shell and saying some really “worthwhile” comments last night (I will give props when due) I mean I really thought she should be applauded for finally saying something decent but then she spit out “Give me some rhythm Scott, YO!” and waving her best sha-nay-nay finger – then I immediately remembered why I have not applauded her before. Is she sitting too close to Randy? I think it is effecting her IQ.
Simon – I really enjoy how he torments Paula into answering questions how he wants them answered and how much it flusters her……
Randy – dude, dawg, really I have run out of comments for this one hit wonder.

Okay so finally the contestants……IT’S RAINING MEN HALLELUEH…..IT’S RAINING MEN…… I guess with Alexis gone I didn’t realize how few girls there are……

Matt – I feel like there is an awful big push for the cardigan this year….I don’t hate it, but I don’t love it…….Matt sang Let’s get it on…….and yes he did sing it very well, but I would just like to put out a newsflash to Paula that he wasn’t ACTUALLY singing it to you or about you……she looked way too excited, didn’t she learn anything from her tryst with the curly hair fella from a few seasons ago – it’s not who of you to sleep with the contestants…..some would think this is common sense, but not Paula….

Kris – Sang “How sweet it is….” All I have to say is how Sweet is you……am I alone here or is he the cutest thing since Jonathan Lipinski from Jerry McGuire? Let’s be honest he isn’t THAT amazing vocally, but hey neither is Britney Spears and all you guys want to keep her around for some eye candy, I don’t think the ladies should be ashamed to do so too……I was however intrigued to figure out the cryptic numbering system he had written all over his shoulders, I felt like Tom Hanks in the Divinci Code, must be the nerdy accountant in me.

Scott – oh thank GOD he made mention of it – I was thinking are we really going to go through this whole thing and not point out that he is wearing pink pants and a paisley pastel shirt? Poor thing that he didn’t find out until 10 minutes prior – I literally did a calendar check to see if it was April fools day….it wasn’t it was just a poor little man dressed in KEN clothes and I felt really bad for him, on top of that he sounded like S*** so then I felt even worse….I hate to say it Scott I believe it is nearing the end of the road for you…….You are truly an inspiration but you must pack your bags…….

Megan – Umm wait Scott don’t pack your bags just yet………Remember when I said I was still on the fence about if I liked her jazzy routine or not – well guess what I was literally pushed OVER the fence last night and will officially say I am over it. However I will say I would switch hitters for just a short period of time for her…….She is one hot babe and I am not afraid to say it!

Anoop – he is coming into his own and I am happy for him. What I am not so elated with is his one dance move – it goes like this – open palm to the heart and then out to a bent side elbow wave……he seems to love it, in fact he loved it so much that he did it Yup, 11 times last night, that is right I rewound and counted. He is definitely better at the slower songs but I find my self missing “My prerogative”

Michael – sang “Ain’t too proud to beg” America I am “begging” please send this turd home. He is not good and for him not to even be in the bottom three is absurd……I don’t like his voice, his dance moves are spastic and I feel like the stage might crack every time those football thunder thighs assist with some leg stomping… frightens me.

Lil - I will have to agree song sounded very rushed and fast…….but I will have to compliment her on her AWESOME dress – I tried to figure out where and when could I wear that and then answered – nowhere with a big deep sigh……would it be appropriate at McDaniels? No worries here…… she will remain….

Adam – WOW the hairdo really threw me for a loop….why did he randomly morph into a mix of Corey Feldman and Lou Diamond Phillips? I enjoyed the clean cut I can actually see both of your eyes look, however the double earrings, the pocket scarf, the 10 lbs of Grecian formula, shiny suit – it was a bit much for me – back to HOT TOPIC you must go my friend…….oh yeah this is a singing competition – he also sang well.

Danny – We all know he is good and a front runner and I secretly enjoy that the boys are stepping up their games to give this guy a run for his money, since they were building it up as if he were going to walk away with the trophy after the first audition – So last night I found myself not so into the song, but more concerned about where in the world is Jamal? Did he leave his BFF in his Hollywood dust? This concerns me.

Allison – Super great – she will give Lil a run for her money and I think I was half asleep at this point and having nothing further. I will have to say I would like the hair people to change up the pink/red do – I think it might really change up her game……

Bottom Three Michael/Megan/Scott – with Megan going home.

Munson out……..

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Fire up the Tour Bus........

First – what the eff is going on with my site? Not sure what all the gobblie gook is at the top – any support from you techies out there (Darrell and Sarah) would be appreciated. Never mind looks like yours truely fixed it - look at the accountant out IT departments~~

Well, well, well America you sure threw me for a loop and surprised me last night – I can kind of see your point – she isn’t going to go home with the trophy, but I still enjoyed her and thought she had the voice to carry on……but bygones….. the munchinchi has left the building….Did you get a load of the straight up “pissed off” face she gave when they told them Adam was safe. She morphed from this sweet little smurfette to a nasty, lip biting, get the claws out chick, she tried to hide it with the whole “it’s been an amazing opportunity” but I shutter at the real thought that were spewing in that little noggin of hers…….And what is with the football huddle the judges got into while she was literally singing for her life? I think I caught Paula licking Simon’s ear……it was super sophomoric and I felt bad for Alexis……So Michael, people really love this blue collared son of a B…….I am not on board but so be it……..and enough of the sob stories about your little girl giving you the guilt trip, three and a half years old or not I would be like…. “listen don’t get lippy with me I am away so you can have a pony and a clown at every one of your effing birthdays from here on out. Simma down and go watch Dora and forget about me…… just forget about me…….”

So not overly impressed with last night – I am happy to bid a fine farewell to country night…….. Here are some things I pondered while watching…..

Why did Randy think he was the Skipper last night and wear a straight up ascot?
Why did Kara have a librarian bun the size of a tire?
Why did Paula look normal last night with a hair do that I enjoyed – she threw me for a loop and frightened me that I might not be able to pick on her, oh but contraire, she opened her mouth and all was good.
Allison –is she a perfect candidate for “what not to wear” not flattering AT ALL.
Does Allison look like Kelly Clarkson?
What size curling iron rod do you think Randy Travis uses on his bangs?
Was Carrie Underwood wearing a wig?
Why does Megan have hair that every man, woman and child desires and then decide to crimp it from midline down?
Why did Carrie Underwood head into Michaels Arts and Crafts and grab the one black silk flower arrangement that was left on the clearance isle and then stick it up on top of her head as a hair accessory?
How old is Brad Paisley, and why at this juncture in his life can he not grow anything beyond a 13 year olds sparse facial hair?

Okay and to finally put the country theme to rest I would like to address one final issue…….The Cowboy Hat…….Now I admit I have fallen to it’s prey at a Bon Jovi concert now and again……but really what is the point of this? I understand in the wild wild west when they were out ranching cattle, they would be protecting themselves from the sun, rain and other outdoor elements…….but really what sort of protection does this lend to a guy at the Kodak theatre where it is fully equipped with a state of the art HVAC system? Is this the new Propectia (sp?)? A way to reduce the signs of aging? Is this a way to ward off the embarrassment of the lyrics you are singing by avoiding eye contact with your audience? Or let’s be honest it is just another way to say Yee Haw….mf’ers I am on stage and you aren’t – here is a backstage pass and we will see what we can work out……

Munson out……

Wednesday, March 18, 2009


Sweet, two hours of whiny lyrics, toe tapping beats, songs about drinking bud, roping horses, and pick up trucks…..Let me grab my gear because I truly have to pull one up from the boot straps to try and enjoy this. Now I am not judging those folks that enjoy a little country twang, who am I kidding, yes I am ….that is pretty much what I do and the premise of this blog. I don’t get it, not one bit – I think the music is boring and I seriously recognized ONE song from 11 last night – even with current artists like Carrie I was like what Jesus is driving now? What? So to make a long complaint short I hated every second of it, I am not saying country hasn’t done wonders for a lot of people but I can’t relate and was a bit bored last night.

First Randy Travis…..Why is his shaped like an alien? It is triangular in form and his deep sunken eyes – he was a bit creepy to look at and I had to put my sunglasses on half way through because my pupils couldn’t dilate anymore from looking at his over “whiten” teeth. So 22 number one hits eh? Can’t say I know one of them………

Ahhhhh Paula – did she forget she was 4 ft 1 inch? Summer Hawaiian dresses are not supposed to have trains on them and did anyone notice that her melons were seriously “resting” on the table all night – it as if she was using them as a kickstand to keep her drunk head a float…..uncalled for! And what is with the random hole in her chest? It is as if Tiger Woods took a swing and forgot to replace his divot……she is an odd one……

Ryan for the love of cancer ……let’s get your soon to be leather patch face out of the sun!

Randy Jackson – wondering if his contract allows him to say more than two words at a time? Cuz all I heard was…..
That’s hot
That’s current
That’s now
Tender dawg
Da Bomb
Brung it.

Now this is has nothing to do with AI but I am in the mood to Bitch – what is with the hellaious Old Navy commercials?? I know we all DVR this and FF through the commercials, but I even get annoyed watching it at four times faster….anyone? or is it just me?

Okay back on track….

Michael – I felt like this was the poor mans rap. There were so many words jammed into a 3 minute time frame after a while it felt like he was singing supercalafragilistic exbealedosious………It was annoying and seriously the only words I understood were pick up truck and that is only because it is a requirement in any country song.

Allison – AHH the love songs these crazy country folk come up with
Double dealing
Two timing
They really have a way with words…..its riveting and breathtaking all at the same time. We all know she has the “pipes” (Using Randy Travis’ overstated phrase) and will be around for a while.

Kris – HORRIBLE HORRIBLE song – are they making these up?? But who the F cares YUMMY YUMMY YUMMY! I enjoyed the many close-ups but felt threatened by Randy and Simon tagging him as the tender puppy…..leave the pet names to me and step off my territory with my “hottie” I am just saying…….

Lil Rounds – First of all the hilarity of Simon not knowing the difference between Lil and Little was classic – but in his defense it is a bit of an absurd name and bordering on obnoxious. I was happy to see the Rhianna bangs go away although it made her look 20 years older, I only wish Rhianna would follow suit just so we could see what Chris really did to her!! Anywho…..I know her gig isn’t country, and neither is mine, but I am pretty sure country folks don’t wear red strapless gowns and diamond necklaces…….

Adam – The close ups are killing me – can you say PROACTIV? There are more pot holes on that face than 1-94, and I am not faulting him for that – it’s the 20 lbs of make up that is used to fill the gaps that is gross and creepy! Lay off the foundation! We have all had blemishes – stand proud…. we can all relate! Okay the song – I am not a fan of the original – but goodness the injustice he did to Mr. Cash was unheard of – I mean literally he deserves to be “thrown” into a ring of fire for what he sang last night. Too many people like him, so I don’t think he will go home however he will be thrown in the bottom three in order to boost ratings…

Scott – Thank you surfer boy, thank you for listening……I definitely noticed some product and some flattening going on, thanks for helping a brother out. He was okay nothing fantastic. But what is with Paula telling him to loose the piano? That is like telling Amy Weinhouse to leave the crack at home, that is like telling Lance Armstrong he needs two balls to compete in the tour de France…..That is like telling Paula to wear a t-shirt and jeans…..its absurd and mean and I hated her for saying it……The fact that she actually suggested that he needs to work on his showmanship on stage….Yes Paula he will get right on that and work on his Thriller routine…..I am so sure!

Alexis – What’s with all the prom dresses with the country theme? I was waiting to see some skin tight jeans, some cowboy boots, belt buckles, hats, and spurs…….but nada just some sparkly numbers that didn’t correlate for me…..She was okay last night, and I am glad she is setting a fine example for her child “If I come back next week I promise to bring DIRTY” daughter is beaming with pride I just know it.

Danny – Who does he think he is P-Diddy in the every breath you take video – the white jacket was absurd – I enjoyed his understated non colored glasses this week – he sounded good, but again what is Jesus doing driving…..these songs, really people listen to these?

Anoop – Bow Wow Wow Yippie Yo Yippie Yah…….The noop dawg is back in the house…..This is the one song I did recognize and I thought he did it justice and I am glad he left the “hip hop” per say at home – he does have a good voice when he simmers down a bit. I think he just bought himself another week and Jorge you might want to post a want ad for a roomie at the local market – I am not sure Anoop will be joining you yet!

Megan – Ummm holy melons batman! Where the heck did those things come from? My hubbie is going to be so sad he missed last night……..My verdict is still not out on this minnie Ella Fitzgerald, I feel like she “talks” the song more than she “sings” and I feel like it should be getting old and annoying, but find myself still liking it…….this is a tuff one.

Matt – He is good – he is coming into his own, because the first week I would have sent him packing…. I am glad he is focusing up…..however; does anyone else want to pick that butterscotch chip off his forehead? I do…..

So I would say bottom three Megan, Adam, Michael – with Michael going home.

Munson out.

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Buh Bye for J & J.....

Last week I was dialing my cardiologist – last night I immediately had to call my primary care and request an immediate prescription to xanax or valium anything to curb my anxiety I get every time I watch what poor Scott has to endure. Who knew watching AI would cause so many medical emergencies! I am sure Scott is suggesting no special treatment, and I am not sure if it is the mutha’ in me but I just want to cradle him and protect him through every uncomfortable moment. I just feel like he has to work 369% harder than everyone else.
#1 I bet that “mansion” is a total party for Scott to get around in. “ummm why am I all wet – oh I must have just stepped into the pool”
#2 The group performance – he was so energetic and happy to be dancing about – can you fault him for being a half step behind all the time – I practically bit everyone of my acrylic nails off and starting talking him through it in a small whisper voice “come on Scott look to your left with everyone else” “come on turn to the right – you got it you got it” “come on, help him… someone help him get even with the line” then I starting thanking the munchini out loud for assisting him all night.
#3 the ford commercial I am glad there wasn’t so much “driving” per say……
#4 the missed congratulatory and high fives when people were deemed “safe” I felt like he couldn’t manage to get to them or to the high fives fast enough.
Ugh the stress of it all…I am immediately driving to Walgreens to pick up my RX…. Do you think Stevie Wonder or Ray Charles had to go through all these shenanigans, group performances, dance routines…..Push though Scott we are all rooting for you!

Okay so the BIG twist…….AKA the immunity idol from survivor. – Nothing original there…..I wasn’t blown outta da box by that one!

Jasmine – only if she could have shown that much emotion in her songs, that she did last night as she was waving goodbye she might have been a there a bit longer – Your pretty face will be missed but it was the right decision.

Jorge – Did I not call it or what I told you Anoop would send you back to your grass hut, what I failed to mention was that I am afraid he will be following you next week and then the two of you will become life long roommates.

Kayne – I am not a huge follower per say, I really don’t even know what his music is….but apparently the word around the rumor mill is that he thinks he is God and has a bit of a cocky attitude. Where does this guy get off – he has not one leg to stand on
First and foremost he sounds like S*** - his digitally enhanced voice sounds better than his real one (much like another hot mess Britney Spears)
He decides that the Mexican Tuxedo would be the right choice of outfits to grace America with.
I think more talented than his ability to sing is his ability to not have his pants fall off and remain right in the midline of his ass – how do they not fall off? I have never understood this concept – I don’t know why it is cool and I don’t understand the comfort level with it either. Do they use Duck tape? Do they have to squeeze and expand to make it stay there the whole time? I need answers people.

Kelly – It makes me proud that I voted for her season one…… (yup I will admit and this was prior to texting, well it might not have been but prior to me understanding what the hell texting was. So yes I would call back a zillion times until I got through) She has a great voice and has definitely made a name for herself. I am just not sure these past eight years have done her justice – it seems to me she is spending a little too much time in the green room and with craft services. I am just saying it sort of looked like she was storing nuts for the winter months in those cheeks…….but I continued to sing along as I was shoving my cheeks with some naughty brownie creation that hubbie made…… so Touché’

Munson out.