Three Amigos.....

Well here we go folks….it’s down to the wire but someone has to go….and for a moment I would like to emulate Paula in a few ways and say I am proud of all three guys and they all have careers ahead of them……and they are all winners to get this far, what I would not like to emulate is have it be known to America that I wear 14 lbs of foundation and makeup that one quick hug onto Simon’s white BVD and a ¼ of it remained on his shirt for the duration of the show…….I thought Simon was chaffing and straight up bleeding from the nipple only to be relieved that it is just half of Paula’s face rubbed onto him…phew…..and yuck.

Danny – I will have to end our Kansas City airport love affair right here and right now….I am sorry – but you need to go home tonight. I have been a big fan of yours from the start and you have a very talented voice, don’t get me wrong, but you are what we like to call a one trick pony……a Taylor Hicks syndrome if you will…….good but same ol crap every time. Did anyone know that Terrance Trent Darby had another song besides “wishing well?” Well he shouldn’t have. Danny also needs to leave so I no longer have to look at that “getting too thick” beard of his, Who does he think he is? Hugh Jackman? FYI the Wolverine look is not working for you. I hope to say goodbye to you……Forever.

Kris – Who would have known from week one when I “advised” a friend to put him in the bottom three of all the guys in Hollywood that I would fall head over heals for this guys talent as well as his bedroom eyes……I mean let’s face dark horse – hell yeah….but I feel like I have to give this guy credit – I mean he is quite talented….the piano and the guitar, ability to change up songs, and the ability to act like a NORMAL human being….I know Ryan has alluded to his humbleness several times, but I tell you what that trait resonates deeply for me…..It makes you like him and it makes you want to cheer for the normal!

Adam – On the flip side of normal……let’s first start by discussing the tongue and how much it makes me want to hurl……Its fat and white and flailing out in every which way when he belts out into his “scream” it’s inappropriately panting like a dog that just found out he gets to go for a car ride. Adam do us all a favor pick up that creepy horse tongue and throw it back in your mouth where it belongs. Along the same lines as Danny, I am loosing luster as much as everyone claims he is so cutting edge and can’t wait to see what he is going to do next I don’t find it as much as a surprise – every week it goes something like this….
Adam walks out slowly and shines under a bright blue moon beam.
Adam sings softly and slowly keeping the audience on the edge of their seats as to what he will do next….
And with no twists, he then pumps it up and starts his 80’s head bang scream even when it isn’t appropriate.
Stage hands cue fog and smoke machines…..
End of story.
The only twist I saw last night was that he wasn’t draped in rocker black garb but rather a straight up stoned washed shirt and jeans – ummm can someone please advise me….should I be holding on to my stone washed denim from 1985 they are currently marked for an upcoming g-sale and now I am completely stressed over this decision I will have to make. #1 do I keep them or #2 do I mark them up since they are so vintage and now in style….ugh just one more thing to bog me down!
My last little tidbit with Adam was his final comment on how he is “honored to be in the presence of the other two” Someone please knock some fear into this guy…why does he feel it is necessary to spout off a speech as if he was at the Oscars and in the running with Meryl Streep, Kate Winslet, & Brad Pitt. I am just saying step off Kris’ humble coat tails.

I ended up the night pretty depressed last night as they announced it was the 300th show….WOW really I have plopped my fat rear down on the couch and stared at the tube for 300 episodes…..that is devoted or straight up pathetic!

Danny out tonight (I hope)

Munson out