Ummm all I gots to say is I should have played the lotto last night! 3 for 3 on my picks! Yahooie. As much as that makes me overly giddy in a Vegas kind of double down way......I will admit I am in mourning a bit. I knew it was coming but still it was hard to come to terms with it. Norman you have brought me so much pleasure over the past two months that I wasn't sure if I could continue on with these shenanigans, but low and behold I watched the preview for next week and was completely taken over by such a calming feeling knowing I still have Nathanial to contend with. So you will be missed dearly, but you will also be replaced not so much in the comedic way but in the same "hot mess" sort of way as Nathanial picks up where you left off! There is always a wild card baby! I would also like to commend N.G. for stepping up and asking for employment on National TV, there are many folks right now in this economy that could only dream of an opportunity like that! :)
So the results - I am satisfied
Allison - obvious - but did you catch a glimpse of Alexis in the back round looking on to her performance - if I could have read her mind I swear it would have sounded a bit like this "Holy SHIT batman, game on .......this chick can sing and now I gots some work cuts out for me!" And Allison's poor unstable mother - I am not sure she is going to make it though the season with out some paramedics on hand.
Kris - couldn't be happier - I really enjoy him - no gimmicks, no hair, no odd job - just a normal dude trying to sing......
Adam - I am not mad per say.....I mean I am intrigued by where this guy will take his hairband ways? But again if I had to interpret what was going on in his mind it would go a bit like this "EFF me EFF me are you kidding me Norman Gentle is going to take me down? No this is not happening - if I go down I will be the guy who looses to N.G. EFF me EFF me"
I could spend hours discussing the retrospective flashback ditty, that took me back to why I love this show, but I will spare you the details as I must get my priorities straight and immediately get online purchase some rosemary beads and a cross to place at my bedside so I can say a little prayer for my dear friend Norman.
Munson out.......
Thursday, February 26, 2009
2nd 12 of 36.....
Okay so I read in USA Today, yesterday that apparently numbers are down for this season for idol – about 8 million! I don’t know if I can handle any more bad news. First the economy and now AI is going in the tanker! Please can a sista get some relief! Simon blamed it on the bright lighting the first week and as I read it I was like really?? It wasn’t because people are sucking out on that stage and we don’t want to see people suck at this stage of the game? Really are people really turning off the tube claiming that the lights are too bright? Can you imagine “Chris immediately turn that thing off the glare, I just can’t stand it anymore – it is burning my eyes” as if it was of Kryptonite power. Ridiculous.
Speaking of ridiculous lets mention a few notables before we get to the contestants.
Wondering…. do you think Randy was going deep sea diving after the show? Did you get a glimpse of the size of his flava flav watch?
Alexis – our girl winner from last week – did anyone notice she is the size of a munchinchi? Perhaps it was because she was standing next to oil rigger dude – but seriously I thought if he farts he might break her tiny little body.
Paula…..hmmm I am glad she could make it after she was done attending the dinner at the Falcon Crest mansion. What was with that dress that was a direct throw back to Joan Crawford? And I think in all the rush to leave the dinner party and make it to set she forgot to comb out her flat ironed bangs and manage all that backcombing……
Here are some AWESOME eloquently stated “quotes” I caught last night – Bravo and well put…….
Paula “ I did hear you go for it and bring what you brought to it”
Randy “you slayed it” (with much enthusiasm)
Randy on numerous occasions “you blew it out of da box”
Randy “u drop dead!”
I couldn’t be happier that these folks are making millions of dollars for their input!
Okay on with it.
Jasmine - #1 could she be any cuter. Bitch. What happened?? I was so impressed and such a huge fan during Hollywood week, but Rut Roy….not so good last night. And I hate to say it because it IS so cliché but “wrong song” – Did you see how pissed her mom was in the audience – honestly I don’t know if she was mad that her daughter just stunk up the stage or is just thinking “seriously my one chance for a national TV interview and ratings had to be down last week and now they cut the parent interviews? What Bs***!” poor mom.
Matt G. – This was the guy from KZOO – so of course I was hoping on board that Justin Timberlake looking train to support my roots, but why did he have a vibrator in his mouth the whole time – what is with all the virbrato and over singing? Sorry boy back to dueling piano bars and bachelorette parties for you!
Jeanine – This girl was the black version of Simon’s old girlfriend Terri Seymour – I think that is why she got through to Hollywood. She also had a little Leona Lewis look kicking – another pet project of Simons – so my point being she wasn’t good but slid on in on her impersonations of Simon’s ex and his protégé. Yes I will admit she had great legs and perhaps a pantyhose company will be calling you soon. But I am afraid you are going to need those great gams to walk yourself back home!
Norman – OMG – so I am feeling like this could be a whole separate post by itself….where to begin? I feel like it was his own personal transgender crisis being played out on National TV. I absolutely LOVE that he made it this far and still has the buffalo balls to come out in his headband/wristbands/khaki shorts and white tails no less!
There were so many moments that I admired him for….
The caressing of the AI sign (did this remind anyone of an inebriated Chris Munson at any and every Halloween party we have attended?)
Him calling out Doogie howser in the middle of his song that was in the audience
The chest pumping “bow bow”
Oh and for the love of all things that are good the homage to Ralph Machio and Mr. Miaggi with the Final Karate Kid kick. I just wanted to wrap him up in a sparkly shirt ball and pop him in my mouth!
His Dad actually showing genuine pride for his son acting like a total fruitcake on a national platform! Bless your heart dad!
I seriously have never laughed/cried/bellyached or felt like I got my monies worth as much as I did when I got to watch the treat that is Norman Gentle. I would love to see him advance but I know in my heart of hearts it wouldn’t be fair to someone who is really good and doesn’t want to perform at the Bird Cage cabaret the rest of their lives.
And as much as I don’t enjoy her I have to give credit where credit is due – Kara showed an ounce of worth last night in her comment of “You wear the same shirt every week, much like Simon” nice one you good for nothing judge.
Allison – (red hair rocker) okay I was dreading her performance after her AGGONIZING interview last night. Now I know she is young and inexperienced – but if Ryan Seacrest asks you a question, darn it spit something out of that ½ metal infested yapper of yours! Something – anything….ugh it brought me back to the days of the Jason Castro (white guy dreadlock guy) from last season! Then all of a sudden she grabbed the microphone, the music cued and before you knew it I was fist pumping and getting my lighter out. I thought she was AWESOME and so up my alley voice wise – way to rock it out little one. But then as soon as music stopped and the Ryan questions started she was immediately stricken and back to sputtering words worse that our own Paula Abdul. Did anyone catch that her mom was straight up hyperventilating with her head between her knees and they just pan back to the daughter to tell her how great she is with no concern for the mom? Funny!
Kris – Don’t remember this cat from H. at all. What a cutie why didn’t he get more air time? Oh perhaps it is because his dumb name is spelled with a “K” really this is the only thing this guy has going against him at this point. He had me at “gonna make a difference…..” #1 he picked one of my favorite MJ songs EVER #2 he sang it really well & #3 he wore a version of a members only jacket that I secretly enjoyed. So Kara didn’t like him (stupid girl) but Paula liked him and Simon agreed with Paula – my point here being did anyone notice the look on Paula’s face when Simon agrees with her? It is like she just won homecoming queen and all the “Carrie” blood is spilling over competitor (Kara) I was waiting for her to turn to her and start screaming “plug it up, plug it up!”
Megan – adorable blond Daryl Hanna from splash girl. – she was very Amy Weinhouse to me which I enjoy minus the random mic jagger looking body and cocaine habit. That is one serious tattoo she has kicking – at first I thought it was one of those tattoo sleeves that you buy which then reminded my of Carleys creepy girl face that stared at all of us last season. She was good – I have a feeling she will not get through tonight but will get by with a wild card later.
Matt – welder dude – Chris made a good point he has that quintessential look that every bar bouncer in America has. I will have to tell you I am getting tired of the “I am doing it for my family” speech – Bullshit – you are up there to live the dream – with or without your family in tow….yeah I said it….and you are all thinking it! Great song – I love Tonic it took me back to the days of belting out that song as I drove in my probe. Yes, I do realize that the song is not that old and yes I was still driving a probe, but I was Rockin’ it yo……I didn’t think he was as bad as they made him out to be, but lets be honest he isn’t a winner.
Jesse – she has a good voice – but last night she appeared to be in pain and shaking profusely while singing “Betty Davis eyes” Don’t think it was good enough and why does she feel it necessary to have a 5 minute candid conversation with each of the judges….let’s remember Paula, Kara and Randy don’t have that kind of stamina to hold conversations that long!
Kai – I just would like to ask the question “what is the end vision for that hair of yours?” Are you in a painful grow out stage or are you aspiring to a Kenny G or a Carrot Top like do? I am just saying get those tresses pulled together. He was okay for me – not over the top good but not over the top bad.
Misha – she sang drops of Jupiter – not much to say I think she could have been better and she could understand sarcasm a bit more when Simon said “you act like you are 50” and she responds “I swear I am not 50” My friend, he didn’t actually think you were 50… OH VEY!
Adam – I would like to start out by saying “I pity the fool” what is with the Mr. T starter set….he was actually more over accesoried than Paula for the love. On another pointless note I must ask where he gets his flat iron – great results. He is good but sort of for another era. I felt like someone was pinching his balls in a vice grip – it is like he is 15 years past his prime and Markey Mark you should thank your lucky stars because Adam would have totally been in the running for the movie “Rock Star” I would like to see how this Adam progresses – otherwise I am sure there are some openings in some Slaughter, white lion, Cinderella, skid row tribute band!
My guess would be Allison/Kris/Norman Adam
Munson out…….
Speaking of ridiculous lets mention a few notables before we get to the contestants.
Wondering…. do you think Randy was going deep sea diving after the show? Did you get a glimpse of the size of his flava flav watch?
Alexis – our girl winner from last week – did anyone notice she is the size of a munchinchi? Perhaps it was because she was standing next to oil rigger dude – but seriously I thought if he farts he might break her tiny little body.
Paula…..hmmm I am glad she could make it after she was done attending the dinner at the Falcon Crest mansion. What was with that dress that was a direct throw back to Joan Crawford? And I think in all the rush to leave the dinner party and make it to set she forgot to comb out her flat ironed bangs and manage all that backcombing……
Here are some AWESOME eloquently stated “quotes” I caught last night – Bravo and well put…….
Paula “ I did hear you go for it and bring what you brought to it”
Randy “you slayed it” (with much enthusiasm)
Randy on numerous occasions “you blew it out of da box”
Randy “u drop dead!”
I couldn’t be happier that these folks are making millions of dollars for their input!
Okay on with it.
Jasmine - #1 could she be any cuter. Bitch. What happened?? I was so impressed and such a huge fan during Hollywood week, but Rut Roy….not so good last night. And I hate to say it because it IS so cliché but “wrong song” – Did you see how pissed her mom was in the audience – honestly I don’t know if she was mad that her daughter just stunk up the stage or is just thinking “seriously my one chance for a national TV interview and ratings had to be down last week and now they cut the parent interviews? What Bs***!” poor mom.
Matt G. – This was the guy from KZOO – so of course I was hoping on board that Justin Timberlake looking train to support my roots, but why did he have a vibrator in his mouth the whole time – what is with all the virbrato and over singing? Sorry boy back to dueling piano bars and bachelorette parties for you!
Jeanine – This girl was the black version of Simon’s old girlfriend Terri Seymour – I think that is why she got through to Hollywood. She also had a little Leona Lewis look kicking – another pet project of Simons – so my point being she wasn’t good but slid on in on her impersonations of Simon’s ex and his protégé. Yes I will admit she had great legs and perhaps a pantyhose company will be calling you soon. But I am afraid you are going to need those great gams to walk yourself back home!
Norman – OMG – so I am feeling like this could be a whole separate post by itself….where to begin? I feel like it was his own personal transgender crisis being played out on National TV. I absolutely LOVE that he made it this far and still has the buffalo balls to come out in his headband/wristbands/khaki shorts and white tails no less!
There were so many moments that I admired him for….
The caressing of the AI sign (did this remind anyone of an inebriated Chris Munson at any and every Halloween party we have attended?)
Him calling out Doogie howser in the middle of his song that was in the audience
The chest pumping “bow bow”
Oh and for the love of all things that are good the homage to Ralph Machio and Mr. Miaggi with the Final Karate Kid kick. I just wanted to wrap him up in a sparkly shirt ball and pop him in my mouth!
His Dad actually showing genuine pride for his son acting like a total fruitcake on a national platform! Bless your heart dad!
I seriously have never laughed/cried/bellyached or felt like I got my monies worth as much as I did when I got to watch the treat that is Norman Gentle. I would love to see him advance but I know in my heart of hearts it wouldn’t be fair to someone who is really good and doesn’t want to perform at the Bird Cage cabaret the rest of their lives.
And as much as I don’t enjoy her I have to give credit where credit is due – Kara showed an ounce of worth last night in her comment of “You wear the same shirt every week, much like Simon” nice one you good for nothing judge.
Allison – (red hair rocker) okay I was dreading her performance after her AGGONIZING interview last night. Now I know she is young and inexperienced – but if Ryan Seacrest asks you a question, darn it spit something out of that ½ metal infested yapper of yours! Something – anything….ugh it brought me back to the days of the Jason Castro (white guy dreadlock guy) from last season! Then all of a sudden she grabbed the microphone, the music cued and before you knew it I was fist pumping and getting my lighter out. I thought she was AWESOME and so up my alley voice wise – way to rock it out little one. But then as soon as music stopped and the Ryan questions started she was immediately stricken and back to sputtering words worse that our own Paula Abdul. Did anyone catch that her mom was straight up hyperventilating with her head between her knees and they just pan back to the daughter to tell her how great she is with no concern for the mom? Funny!
Kris – Don’t remember this cat from H. at all. What a cutie why didn’t he get more air time? Oh perhaps it is because his dumb name is spelled with a “K” really this is the only thing this guy has going against him at this point. He had me at “gonna make a difference…..” #1 he picked one of my favorite MJ songs EVER #2 he sang it really well & #3 he wore a version of a members only jacket that I secretly enjoyed. So Kara didn’t like him (stupid girl) but Paula liked him and Simon agreed with Paula – my point here being did anyone notice the look on Paula’s face when Simon agrees with her? It is like she just won homecoming queen and all the “Carrie” blood is spilling over competitor (Kara) I was waiting for her to turn to her and start screaming “plug it up, plug it up!”
Megan – adorable blond Daryl Hanna from splash girl. – she was very Amy Weinhouse to me which I enjoy minus the random mic jagger looking body and cocaine habit. That is one serious tattoo she has kicking – at first I thought it was one of those tattoo sleeves that you buy which then reminded my of Carleys creepy girl face that stared at all of us last season. She was good – I have a feeling she will not get through tonight but will get by with a wild card later.
Matt – welder dude – Chris made a good point he has that quintessential look that every bar bouncer in America has. I will have to tell you I am getting tired of the “I am doing it for my family” speech – Bullshit – you are up there to live the dream – with or without your family in tow….yeah I said it….and you are all thinking it! Great song – I love Tonic it took me back to the days of belting out that song as I drove in my probe. Yes, I do realize that the song is not that old and yes I was still driving a probe, but I was Rockin’ it yo……I didn’t think he was as bad as they made him out to be, but lets be honest he isn’t a winner.
Jesse – she has a good voice – but last night she appeared to be in pain and shaking profusely while singing “Betty Davis eyes” Don’t think it was good enough and why does she feel it necessary to have a 5 minute candid conversation with each of the judges….let’s remember Paula, Kara and Randy don’t have that kind of stamina to hold conversations that long!
Kai – I just would like to ask the question “what is the end vision for that hair of yours?” Are you in a painful grow out stage or are you aspiring to a Kenny G or a Carrot Top like do? I am just saying get those tresses pulled together. He was okay for me – not over the top good but not over the top bad.
Misha – she sang drops of Jupiter – not much to say I think she could have been better and she could understand sarcasm a bit more when Simon said “you act like you are 50” and she responds “I swear I am not 50” My friend, he didn’t actually think you were 50… OH VEY!
Adam – I would like to start out by saying “I pity the fool” what is with the Mr. T starter set….he was actually more over accesoried than Paula for the love. On another pointless note I must ask where he gets his flat iron – great results. He is good but sort of for another era. I felt like someone was pinching his balls in a vice grip – it is like he is 15 years past his prime and Markey Mark you should thank your lucky stars because Adam would have totally been in the running for the movie “Rock Star” I would like to see how this Adam progresses – otherwise I am sure there are some openings in some Slaughter, white lion, Cinderella, skid row tribute band!
My guess would be Allison/Kris/Norman Adam
Munson out…….
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
IMPEACH HIM!!
What do these democrats think they are up to…..preempting AI for another pep rally? I am appalled and want this to go through the proper legal channels. No one should have a right to take away someone’s dream of living vicariously through strangers that they have never met on a Tuesday evening at 8 p.m. Hey Obama, NEWSFLASH your in, you won, lets stop with the “hope and change” pep rally….if you don’t have any resolutions to report if you can’t tell us that things have been fixed, resolved, agreed upon then get your booty back to the oval office and get to WORK! We don’t have time for you and your constituents to monopolize the air waves with their overabundance of clapping and cheering, sitting, standing, sitting, standing, sitting, standing….you get my point. We are all adults here so go home wipe the brown stuff off your nose and let the man get back to work and more importantly let us get back to what we love…..Norman Gentle.
The American people have spoken.
Republicans listen loud and clear add “no interruptions to AI season 12” to your political platform and you might just have a leg to stand on!
Munson out...
The American people have spoken.
Republicans listen loud and clear add “no interruptions to AI season 12” to your political platform and you might just have a leg to stand on!
Munson out...
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
First 3 out of 12.......
Okay, so like I said with much added pressure to get this thing online - here we go.....I am a bit nervous for putting this out there for peeps who are not in the inner circle. My main concern is being that it will take off to unprecedented fame and then I will most likely be asked to be the fifth judge. Then my fear will rest in that I will have to recap on my very own muffin top and split ends. So you can see my concern and skepticism but for now I will give it a shot and see if I don't piss off too many people.
So vote off day - I am liking that I saw only 59 minutes on my DVR, a good sign of me going to bed at a decent time for once! But I do always get over anxious at how long and drawn out the process can be, but to my surprise there were some nice change ups and believe it or not only ONE "we will find out after the break"
So the group performance - I found it hysterical how these people who just a few months ago were serving nuggets and drilling for oil get immediately thrown into a group performance and must perform jazz hands on cue. It's so awkward for someone who is not choreography bound. So I secretly enjoy watching the stiff shoulder shakes/shrugs, and the "5....6....7...8 counting" that is no doubt going on in their heads.
Before we get to the inevitable, there are a few things I would like to comment on that perhaps should not go unnoticed.
#1 How could I have forgotten to mention that Alexis' dad is randomly an overly emotional Sam Kiniston? The wavy gravy man was more choked up than Sam's chicken during the "wild thing" video with Jessica Hahn.
#2 Does Danny get sponsorship from Sally Jessee Raphael? I am just saying - I like the glasses they look good on him, but really a new color every performance? During his recap last night they previewed, Brown, Red, Black and clear? Do you think the lenses just pop out and they have interchangeable frames - I can hear the infomercial now "and if you buy now.....we will throw in the pastel color scheme for free!"
#3. I never realized the connection that Paula and Tatiana had. But truly they connect on some level and now it makes sense. Neither one can complete a sentence, both seem like they take the same medications, nor answer the question that is asked of them..... I never knew they had so much in common - I mean besides the dark haired upper lip.
Well WOWSER.....Really Michael?? America I am disappointed in your gullible ways to get sucked into his blue collar sob story....he is not good folks plain and simple. Perhaps his friends will only be making fun of him because he used the word "sissy" on national TV, I guess to his defense you can just drop the "p" bomb on TV either. I guess I am just a bit sad I don't get to say ANOOOOPIE in my head anymore. And as much as I complained about his brows I will miss those bushy Ernie like caterpillars....like Cinderella (80's band not the princess) says "don't know what you got til its gone...."
Then it was nice to see Carley and Michael John again (two of my fav's from last season) oh how I wish they would throw some crazy reality twist in there that one of them could replace Michael(oil rig Michael).....(sort of like I am hearing that is happening on the bachelor - don't watch but wow there is a lot of buzz about it right now!)
Danny/Tatitna - ahh the stand off.....I will have to say I might have started this site and ended it in the same night if Tatiana advanced instead of Danny. She is so absurd and strange - can you imagine her making it in Hollywood and randomly Nancy O'Dell interviews her "So Tatiana, tell us what is going on with you" and then she just stares at you and hyperventilates?? Wow captivating star quality. Sorry odd one I am happy to see you depart but look at it this way you have some nice star jewelery to sell on Ebay when you get back home and then you can build that nice grass hut you always wanted in Puuuuueeeerrrrrttttooooo Ricccccooooooo..
Danny - I loved that he gave a big WHHHOOOOO HOOOOO as he won right in front of Tatiana's sobbing face. Good for you - enough of this humble B-shit - stand proud and represent~
okay WARNING WARNING heartless commentary coming......
What is with the random crinkled "wallet sized" photo of the wife during the Hero song last night.....uncalled for.
okay so one BIG surprise for me - but I guess that is what keeps it interesting.......
Munson out!
So vote off day - I am liking that I saw only 59 minutes on my DVR, a good sign of me going to bed at a decent time for once! But I do always get over anxious at how long and drawn out the process can be, but to my surprise there were some nice change ups and believe it or not only ONE "we will find out after the break"
So the group performance - I found it hysterical how these people who just a few months ago were serving nuggets and drilling for oil get immediately thrown into a group performance and must perform jazz hands on cue. It's so awkward for someone who is not choreography bound. So I secretly enjoy watching the stiff shoulder shakes/shrugs, and the "5....6....7...8 counting" that is no doubt going on in their heads.
Before we get to the inevitable, there are a few things I would like to comment on that perhaps should not go unnoticed.
#1 How could I have forgotten to mention that Alexis' dad is randomly an overly emotional Sam Kiniston? The wavy gravy man was more choked up than Sam's chicken during the "wild thing" video with Jessica Hahn.
#2 Does Danny get sponsorship from Sally Jessee Raphael? I am just saying - I like the glasses they look good on him, but really a new color every performance? During his recap last night they previewed, Brown, Red, Black and clear? Do you think the lenses just pop out and they have interchangeable frames - I can hear the infomercial now "and if you buy now.....we will throw in the pastel color scheme for free!"
#3. I never realized the connection that Paula and Tatiana had. But truly they connect on some level and now it makes sense. Neither one can complete a sentence, both seem like they take the same medications, nor answer the question that is asked of them..... I never knew they had so much in common - I mean besides the dark haired upper lip.
Well WOWSER.....Really Michael?? America I am disappointed in your gullible ways to get sucked into his blue collar sob story....he is not good folks plain and simple. Perhaps his friends will only be making fun of him because he used the word "sissy" on national TV, I guess to his defense you can just drop the "p" bomb on TV either. I guess I am just a bit sad I don't get to say ANOOOOPIE in my head anymore. And as much as I complained about his brows I will miss those bushy Ernie like caterpillars....like Cinderella (80's band not the princess) says "don't know what you got til its gone...."
Then it was nice to see Carley and Michael John again (two of my fav's from last season) oh how I wish they would throw some crazy reality twist in there that one of them could replace Michael(oil rig Michael).....(sort of like I am hearing that is happening on the bachelor - don't watch but wow there is a lot of buzz about it right now!)
Danny/Tatitna - ahh the stand off.....I will have to say I might have started this site and ended it in the same night if Tatiana advanced instead of Danny. She is so absurd and strange - can you imagine her making it in Hollywood and randomly Nancy O'Dell interviews her "So Tatiana, tell us what is going on with you" and then she just stares at you and hyperventilates?? Wow captivating star quality. Sorry odd one I am happy to see you depart but look at it this way you have some nice star jewelery to sell on Ebay when you get back home and then you can build that nice grass hut you always wanted in Puuuuueeeerrrrrttttooooo Ricccccooooooo..
Danny - I loved that he gave a big WHHHOOOOO HOOOOO as he won right in front of Tatiana's sobbing face. Good for you - enough of this humble B-shit - stand proud and represent~
okay WARNING WARNING heartless commentary coming......
What is with the random crinkled "wallet sized" photo of the wife during the Hero song last night.....uncalled for.
okay so one BIG surprise for me - but I guess that is what keeps it interesting.......
Munson out!
Final 36.....................
Well here we are again folks – there are still too many folks to be concerned with but things are FINALLY back to normal – Paula has hopped back on the crazy train and thought she was going to a Halloween Party dressed as Cleopatra and is back to fumbling to get a full sentence out of that flapper now that we are live. Randy is back to speaking in sentences that even the folks in Cabrini Green couldn’t translate and everyone is “booing” Simon for being the only one with something sensible to say…..and Kara she really isn’t back to anything…..which I guess is my point – why is she there again??
Okay so I am having a little bit of AI amnesia….is it weird that these 3 people will sing one time and then all of a sudden are in the final 12 and practically going on an AI world tour? How the heck did they do it last year? I can’t remember – but my only consoling thought would be could this season possibly be shorten and may end prior to Thanksgiving Day? And here we go with the two hours again…. Do you think the IRS would take my plea? – “sorry I couldn’t find the time to do my taxes and everyone else’s because AI is on during every waking moment of my free time. Could you please build something into that god forsaken stimulus package to account for that issue that I am sure the bulk of the American people are dealing with” Suck on that Obama….
I digress….
Okay so the groups were OBVIOUSLY set up with “weeding out” in mind – there were definite winners and losers placed together in order to make it quite obvious in my mind – but I guess this would be a lame recap if we didn’t address all of them…..
Jackie – AKA Debra winger – I was waiting for Mr. Gere to come sweep her off her feet and carry her offstage – does anyone else find a great resemblance? She is a bit of an odd duck – I enjoy her feisty personality, however I am not sure I enjoyed her decision to tunnel Annette Funichello on her way to jazzercise class and Run DMC circuit 1991. And then really her parents are going to bust out the I “heart” my daughter t-shirts the very first show? ……..easy tiger. Bottom line she is not good and we shall all wave a thankful good buy to her and her spandex.
Ricky – my favorite was that in reviewing that he served chicken fingers for a living he goes “I really don’t love what I do” News flash turd NOONE who serves chicken fingers loves what they do……he was okay – just ay-ite if you will……not blown away but he was decent, his maroon Hugh Heffner velvet smoking jacket did not help his case with me, but the vocals were there….so please “Ricky bobby” sing your heart out so you can for the love leave those crispy fried pieces of poultry behind! And again with the parent interview “the Braddy bunch” is this a requirement this season? Ugh.
Alexis – Very cute I like her; she is very blondie-esque. I feel like she has got the package – didn’t quite remember her as being that great during auditions – but last night she nailed it (yeah so what I said it.) Not much more to say on her so in a small rage of jealousy since I have nothing to make fun of her for –I am just going to say Bia-tch.
Brent – I know you are struggling – it gets me right here (envision a fist pounding on the heart) but son, my friend, lay off of the hick country music – it is part of your demise. I know I am probably offending 95% of people on this email – but F-it you should too – it is just dumb music – there is a reason that the “you’re probably a redneck if” joke was coined……also if you are being compared to Buckey Covington you are digging your self a mighty deep grave. His performance not good and did anyone catch his over usage of the “bon jovi” hand move – lay off Brent that is my boyfriends move. Finally did you see his wife totally cut off Ryan Seacrest’s interview with her to hug her hubbie – I just turned to Chris and said sorry if Ryan is talking to me I am all ears and we can embrace at a later date while I empty the dishwasher and watch the real contestants compete…..I am just saying.
Stevie – ummm Stevie is about to leavie……..(Props… Chris) just plain awful not worth the time and what is this D-U-M-B Taylor Swift song – ugh. Perhaps she will get picked up by Biore as a sponsor to take care of those excessive bumps on her forehead.
Anoop – has the makeup and stylists not gotten involved at this point yet?? …..all I am saying is some attention and maintenance needs to be paid to those brows…..I like him he is good, but they need to do a episode where they “pimp his look” Was anyone else taken aback when they interviewed the mom and dad – I don’t know why but the boot leg jeans and sweater threw me for a loop – I guess I was envisioning full Indian garb….
Casey – AKA Vanessa Hudgens from HSM. She is a cute girl even though her hair looked like a wig – my best advice to you would be book your agent and have them call
Michael – oil rig dude. Singing “I don’t want to be anything than what I am supposed to be” Well guess what my oil rigging friend you get to go back on Monday morning…..buh bye!
Ann Marie – forgettable – plain and simple.
Steven – sang MJ… now I know David Cook did things to MJ’s songs that were very cool but you could not hang brother…..perhaps forgetting the words in Hollywood was a telling sign of what was to come. Did anyone notice Ryan say “I know your wife is at home and couldn’t make it” Ummm HEELLLOOOO your hubbie is on AI in the final 36 – this is the time to call in sick to work, to hire that babysitter, call upon friends and family to pick up the slack – I am so sure can you imagine – Sorry Chris good luck with that AI thing next week I have to get to book club.
Tatiana - When oh when can we be done with the deep dramatic heavy breathing? Has anyone noticed she is a 22 year old with 44 year old Oprah arms….I did.
Such an act last night – it was so annoying I guaranteed she was on some dosage of Prozac after her family and friends caught a glimpse of her in Hollywood – and can we please stop with “this is my dream” speech? Guess what sister – people are not being forced at will to try out for AI it is EVERYONE’s dream (including myself…tear tear sniff sniff) so shut the pie hole.
Danny – sometimes when I watch him I feel like I am watching a volleyball match – it’s almost too easy – bump, set, spike….. Good looking/sob story/confidence/a graspy awesome voice – like I said bump, set, spike. He was so strategically placed last for a reason – we get it Danny for President. I have been a fan ever since our love affair in the airport…..Now I am certainly not one to talk English/grammar – numbers is my game….. but really Paula, “I have two words for you with a hyphen” sold out arenas? I am just saying….
Okay so my predictions are Danny, Alexis and either Annop or Ricky to advance.
Munson out.
Final Judgement Night......
So I honker down in the recliner last night, blanket on, Frango mint treat in mouth, remote in hand only to look upon my DVR recording to see that I will have to put up with the “judgment day” nonsense for 2 whole hours?!?! Really? Two hours of agonizing “it’s a tough call” play on words synopsis….So be it I guess…. I can’t complain too much again, in a recliner, blanket on, Frango in mouth, and remote in hand…..What better way to waste two productive hours of my life!
So whose house is this mansion anyway? I was sort of waiting for Simon’s stupid little puppies to come running toward him as if this were his house that he laughed all the way to the bank – but nope just some random loaded guy offering up his big ass house I guess….I am a bit offended why didn’t they call upon me to use my house? I got a brand new chocolate recliner that would put those red Kings thrones to shame and a yard full of watery mud puddles that I am sure everyone would have been happy standing in waiting for their turn…..I am just saying….. So yes they are switching up the format a bit – I secretly missed the stressed out elevator rides where people would be caught digging out their wedgies or fixing their hair – it was voyeurism at its best (opps…. except they knew darn well they were being taped!)
*****ALERT******** This will not happen often, but when it does I have to be fair…….I am going to stand proud and give Paula props last night- looking beyond the age inappropriate length of her hair she was understated and looked decent for once. A simple blue dress, simple hair, only a few costume jewelry pieces (we will get to the star ring in a moment….) I hope she is listening to me right now …….continue on with “less is more”!!*********ALERT**********
Okay so the sing offs……I wasn’t mad at them per say – but I just felt so bad for the guy/gal (yeah I just typed gal, I am 90) who won – it was so bittersweet and annoying I so wanted them to be like “YEAH IN YOUR FACE BRO…..I ROCKED THE HOUSE AND YOU GOIN’ HOME SUCKA……” when they won but nope just a lot of hugs and handshakes to appear humble --- speaking of hugs there were some randomly long homosexual based interludes last night……(not that there is anything wrong with it - I am just noting future couple alerts!)
Cody & Alex (horror film guy and chess club looking guy) it appeared that they almost became a little too close there was a lot of back rubbing and hand swiping as they would brush past each other – I guess what happens in Hollywood stays in Hollywood….on the same note…..
Jamal & Danny – what was with the ½ hour love song interlude when Jamal got the ax? I mean I know they are ty-ite as “brothers” but there is only so much hidden meaning in “I got your back” that I can take.
So apparently the “if you forget your words you are done” rule has fallen by the wayside…. Aka Joanna – she didn’t even sing in
Lil rounds…..ummm there is nothing little about this girl and why does American Idol decide to break down her celebration into XTRA slow mo…as she “bounces” up and down with excitement…..I am just saying this now – we will see pasties on those before this season is over…..
Scott (blind guy) – can someone please stop all the sight references….this time it was Kara….”we all want to SEE you in season 8” Leave the poor guy and his disability alone.
I truly enjoyed Paula giving Kristen (the ugly one in the sing off with the cute girl) fashion advice last night – know I know Paula stepped it up last night but Kristen plug your ears and RUN. RUN FAR AWAY……..
A friend made a nice observation that I would like to share with the rest of you all ………apparently she was too shy to “reply to all”
I also would like to point out that Simon is noticeably 'hornier' this season. Could it be because he is a single man now? I mean, I am kind of over the looks and comments that he gives the 'sluttier' girls. Just annoying - OLDER CREEPY GUY annoying.
I would have to concur with her and would like to say this is an open forum – please keep the commentary going for all of us to enjoy!
I felt like singing in my best beyonce rendition last night “all the single mommies… all the single mommies… uh oh oh uh uh oh” Are there an exorbant amount of single mothers on this season?
Norman Gentle – I can hear all the Tri-Delts slamming their beers and giving hi-fives to each other now – but again I believe it proves my point, the tears, the shakes the nerves, the normal clothes – this is something this little pledge wants and is trying to find the way to let his “brothers” know he is dropping out of rush week.
Tatiana – I honestly don’t know if I have the energy to comment – yes she had a better voice no doubt – but she is such a weird duck she reminds me of the foreign exchange student in your school that no one could relate to, they sounded funny, no social skills what so ever and then you find out at gym class that she doesn’t shave her pits and you and your friends think – where is this chick from???? Was that just in my school? Maybe. Oh and the jewelry gift from Paula was too much and if I have to listen to that cackle one more day I don’t know if I can continue.
The two “blue collar workers” okay yes we were pulling for them and their heart felt stories and yes we didn’t want them to see them go – but I have to rain on their parade and say perhaps the reason you are welding and not even sure what the other top 5 most dangerous job was, but if they did the math – they knew 36 were getting through and they were the last two contestants to go up hmmmmmmmm……WOW they picked 34 people so far and now I can’t believe that we have to have a sing off for one of us to go home… perhaps it is the accountant in me – but come on people focus up!
Munson out
Hollywood week two.....
Okay so last week I didn’t have the energy to comment on the group performances – they are the MOST annoying part of the entire season for me. Seriously every season …..There has been no learning curve in 8 f’in years to alleviate the drama that ensues when working with others. I don’t get it they can’t just put their differences aside for 48 hours while they try to harmonize with two other people? ABSURD. These people will stop at nothing I mean is it really necessary to argue and wave your sha-nay-nay finger in someone’s face debating about whether to use jazz hands or du-oop arms….I am so sure – pull it together people and just sing…..
That’s all I have to say about group night….don’t like it one bit.
Okay so onto solo performances from last night – thank god!
First, did I not get the memo?? Is 1989 coming back around and I was not told??? At first, I was flabbergasted at the following items that lead me to believe ……
- Not one BUT TWO neon skinny ties
- A neon lime green cardigan
- Paula’s one piece forest green jumpsuit
- Headbands and wristbands
- Randy’s chains that were actually sewn on his t-shirt at his shoulders – I wouldn’t be surprised if there were some shoulder pads up in thar…….
But then it got me reminiscing about my ultra cool NEON spring break t-shirts, my collared shirts that I would no doubt flip up, my double layered coordinating socks and thought I can do this, I can jump on board with these silly trends I am a seasoned veteran. However, I will draw the line if these women start showing up with spiral perms and rat nested bangs – I just made a promise to myself, my husband, and my kids that I can’t turn my back on at this juncture of my life.
As long as we are on the subject of fashion choices lets discuss a few alarming items from last night. (For some reason I am enjoying an outline format today….)
- Did anyone notice that Ryan’s chest is smother and barer than a newborns ass? I did and it is rather prepubescent…..don’t get me wrong I am not all for the full on sweater look but a little less groomed would be appreciated.
- Kara – two words – underwire bra.
- Paula – we already made mention of the unitard but what was with the kaleidoscope of mirrors dangling from her neck – is that just for ease when she wants to snort some coke at any moment of the day so the mirror would be readily available? Weird and bizarre.
They are defiantly marketing towards their favorites in the editing department – I don’t think Danny Gookley has missed a frame in any episode…..I can definitely see him as a front runner….along with some others…
- Anoop – he sang my prerogative – I am just saying with Slumdog Millionaire and everything else I really think it is
- The blind guy – and did anyone catch him commenting on the standing O that Paula gave him he goes “I didn’t see that” BLESS HIS HEART…….
- Norman Gentle – ah I have to tell you I LOVE HIM…..he made me laugh out loud last night and I am inspired by his dedication to this character and his absurd choreography. I don’t know what I love more his matching head bands and wrist bands (I mean is he really perspiring all that much?) his 70’s frames, or his camel balls that he so did not care that were on camera while rolling around the floor like Madonna in Like a virgin in his khaki shorts……LOVE HIM.
The last beef I have is the TERRIBLE acting by one Paula Abdul…….while “breaking” the news to the different pods of people. The shy shoulder shrugs the distant eye contact, the defeated hands in pocket, the whole “you still have the dream to chase speech” all to say they made it…..she needs some serious work. And Chris made a good point last night AI is one of the biggest shows on TV right now – where in the F does Simon have to Jet off to with only 10 minutes left in the show….I am so sure…EGO TRIP.
And last but not least Tatiana has now officially replaced
Munson out.
Hollywood.....
Okay first I must apologize for last week’s blatant disregard for a recap – I was having a personal relationship with my toilet that week that didn’t allow me anytime or thoughts on the matter……However there is one little ditty that I do recall and can’t seem to erase from my memory. I am not sure what city they were in but I do remember a Ms. Abual wearing something resembling a silk dickey – and even more so it was bedazzled with stars and fireworks as if she was marching in the fourth of July parade. Now I realize it could have very well been July when they were taping some of these auditions, but no one in there right mind should have the authority to wear a themed turtleneck made out of a silky like material NO ONE.
- Did anyone have “It’s a beautiful day in the neighborhood” running through their head last night – what was with Ryan’s plethora of cardigans last night…every scene a new one. Ryan I know you want to take over for Dick Clark full time but you are still in transition lay off the cardigans and put back on those vintage t’s.
- I love the contestants who debate with the judges that they are not a good judge of character/talent and then get all “Springer” on them and say ridiculous things like my favorite from last night (the guy with the CRAZY eyes) gets all pissed and then just shouts “Simon your pants are cheap!” I wanted to shout from the roof tops what an amazing comeback! I was so proud of him for collecting his thoughts and really putting together a statement that we could all remember him by!
- Let’s discuss Norman Gentle. He intrigues me. He is the one that is a little over the top in character mode – but there is something about this guy that I feel like he is riding out a bet with his fraternity brothers. I feel like the tri delts were all sitting around a bong one night and said hey “jimmy you can actually sing why don’t you go out and just make a fool of ourselves and you will go down in tri delt history” But now I feel like Jimmy is torn he made it to holly wood and doesn’t want to disappoint his “brothers” but feels like “wow maybe I really can make a go at this….” I have a feeling Jimmy will come to his senses and break out from the hazing from his frat brothers and become his own unique individual that perhaps might wow us! I have my eye on you Norman Gentle.
- Do we know why Paula insists on wearing ridiculous outfits that require chains to be attached from her hands to her bodice? If her goal is to revive the 80’s hair band era – I will hop on board, but if it is too just be absurd then I will have to hate it.
- Why does this fourth judge make me like Paula more than I should?
- And for the love of man kind really bikini girl – its everything I loathe about the the female persona…..
Munson out.
It's Back........
Well here we go ladies – time to honker down and hibernate! That is right, no more empting the dishwasher, talking with spouses, reading any books/magazines, searching on facebook, this is it….. We now have to dedicate another 4-5 hours a week to our beloved show of AI. Sad but true I am willing to give up that time (don’t ask me what the heck I was doing with that time before) but I am willing and able to curl up with a blanket from 8-10 for the remainder (especially in this weather not to hard to commit.)
I can’t say I will be gusto with recaps this early in the game, but just wanted to lay a few noticeables out there.
First of all the change up – the new judge – I was waiting for her to be over the top hard core and a bit annoying, but surprisingly I thought she was just the opposite, over the top boring. I don’t think she added anything but a few more hair flings in the air. Don’t get me wrong I was the first one raising the roof with a hoooh hooo when we found out this lady could possibly erase the nonsense that is Paula Abdul, but at least during the show she was just “ay-ite” for me. And surprisingly enough I felt like Paula had more genuine sentences last night than she has in the past 7 seasons. I don’t know if she is just stepping up her game since she has some competition with Kara…… I do however think Kara could squash Paula in a fashion competition – I enjoyed her outfits last night and hope she influences Paula to stop wearing glittered flower lavender rings that are the size of Jupiter……
So I am not going to lie the blind guy at the end got me emotionally attached to this season after 2 hours…….bless his heart I would like to see him do well. I also really enjoy the horror movie maker that looks a wee bit like sanjay…. And let’s please all agree that if we had the chance we would put a bullet in “bikini girl’s” head.
This is the section where I like to “drop names” haha – I happened to be in Kansas City in October and while at the airport I saw some guy in front of me at the shuttle service with an American Idol stationary letter and so of course I had to inquire and ask like I was just running into the Jonas Brothers….but anywho he was there for the final competition before being sent to Hollywood. His name (I think I am remembering it correctly) is David Gaskin….he has black rimmed glasses and was a decent looking 21-24 year old…. I could have sworn I saw him being previewed last night – anywho I will be waiting with bated breath tonight’s KC episode to see if I can see him….wouldn’t it be cool if I randomly rode a shuttle with “the next American idol?” haha….retarded!
That is it
Munson out.
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