Wednesday, March 31, 2010

I'm all "caught up"......

Okay first of all Usher, I am not going to lie I have been known to jog a bit faster when he is on my iPod, or pump my fist up and out my window when he is blaring out of my car. So yeah I guess I like him and his music…however what I do NOT like is the following.
1.The fact that his body guard needs to stand when he stands, sit when he sits, practically connecting at the cheek when Usher started to speak, pretty much making his presence known at all moments……I guarantee he was hiding in the Piano when he was mentoring the contestants.
2.His hair cut. Why is it a perfect square cut out around the forehead? It just looks stupid.
3.The half hour interview with him and Ryan Seacrest. What is going on I felt like I was watching Oprah. This is the reason that I wasted 2 hours last night and not one?

Other than that I guess he was good and help the folks out.

Judges –
Kara – okay the butthole lips are KILLING me is anyone catching the facial puckering?
Randy – Why does he feel it necessary to iron on a circus elephant onto his cardigan as if that is going to be cooler than a Lactose alligator?
Simon – I am not lying I think I saw his navel last night – seriously why does he even wear a shirt? He should just come out in that natural sweater we all know is hiding underneath.
Ellen – she is looking OLD, may I suggest a bit of Oil of Olay around the crows feet? She looked like Dezi Arnez as he just came home from work and couldn’t wait to get that bow tie undone…..ridiculous.

Siobhan - Also ridiculous…she sounded bad last night. But even more ridiculous was how her body was like a magician’s assistant, cut into three separate parts, Top looked like a Greek goddess, Middle looked like every girl in teen beat in 1985, and bottom looked like Neil Armstrong as he stepped onto the moon – seriously tennis moon boots? It made me dizzy.

Casey – sounded good. I started enjoying his understated look as Siobhan is really trying to go out there and then quickly remembered that his ponytail took 12 hours longer than Siobhan’s French braid.

Big Mike – Sitting behind the judges was uncalled for – TV monitors or not…..the stage is there for a purpose you aren’t going to go to Van Andel arena and pop down at the concession stand to play your set – get your large *** on that stage. But honestly this guy can’t miss – not yet anyway!

Didi – Thankfully the little mermaid held it together thank g.o.d. – I don’t enjoy public emotional train wrecks. What was with Ryan badgering her to loose it on stage after she pulled it up from the boot straps to hold it together…..I felt like he was like “say it….say it…..say that your best friend died…..SAY IT” Her performance was just there, nothing special nothing bad….just there. Perhaps Ryan was doing her a favor by trying to gain some sympathy votes, I am glad she didn’t cave.

Tim Urban – I FF’ed it I can’t subject myself to it anymore. I refuse. I did slow it down to catch the judge’s critiques and I agree this guy is Teflon Tim, nothing sticks to him and I think Simon nailed it on the head…..He needs to man up and bow out of this competition because it is the right thing to do.

Andrew – seriously does this guy own three items of clothing….same thing, knit hat, dingy white- T and a cardigan? Where is he shopping “house of Randy Jackson” Although he did sport a nice shiny suit last night, but guess what no one was in the market to buy an Oldsmobile last night……please stylists take this chicken under your wings……

Katie – I liked her snooki poof last night and Amy Weinhouse bouffant do……she sounded good I think she will go through but seriously the dad with the golf shorts still??? I mean can he wrap up his 18 on the course a bit early so he can squeeze in a shower and some clothes before his daughter arrives on NATIONAL TV and tries to change her life…..I am sure!

Lee – Well good morning Mr. Windy City. I feel like he finally shoveled all the sleep from his eyes and woke the eff up last night – sounded real good.

Crystal – really? The big surprise was that she was wearing heels and not Birkenstocks? AI you are hurting and we all notice. I agree with Simon I didn’t like her outfit, even if it showcased her back tats nicely, she looks like she is playing dress up. It is like putting Ellen in a bikini and stilettos sometimes it just doesn’t work. She sounded great as well – go poop teeth!

Aaron - I dozed off after I caught a glimpse of the pee wee Herman hair and couldn’t deal….he annoys me although he is probably a really good singer….just something about him doesn’t allow me to give him the time of day.

Going home for the love of god……..Tim Urban.

Munson out……

Thursday, March 25, 2010

Deep Breathing.....

I am at a crossroads here people.....Yes Paige needed to go, but seriously Tim is on the Tour??????? Like I said I am at a crossroads here...... I might need some inspirational nudging to continue on.......

Munson out.

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Billboard Hits

Okay let’s get to it….I am in “catch up” mode from being on vacation last week, so might have to make this brief…..

Kara – why does she seem to constantly have butt hole lips…..we get it you have nicely glossed lips but honestly pay attention she looks like she is anus, literally. I feel like she is trying to one up Lisa Rhinna
Ellen – Sort of like that she is bringing the “funny” back because let’s face it she isn’t all that she is cracked up to be as a “judge” per say…..I like her comedic interpretations but let’s call a spade a spade …..the show didn’t all of a sudden become better because of her. Let’s stick to talk show hosting and telling jokes.
Randy – why does he continue to look like Mr. Rogers who just got out of arts and crafts class….ugh the beads and cardigans….
Simon – let’s face it he is arrogant and annoying but truly the only one worth listening to and he will be missed next year as this sad set of contestants and his departure sets this show into a downward spiral of flames……

Miley Cyrus – I am not going to lie I don’t hate her……I like most of her songs, she is randomly quirky on her show, she isn’t that much of a ho, what’s to hate? Oh yeah I know……her g.a.y. father who can’t seem to understand the concept of a middle aged man’s haircut and/or a responsible demeanor. I mean really I was surprised that he let Miley on by herself last night and actually didn’t feed her lines to tell the people. Also, why does Miley at the ripe old age of 17 sound like she has been smoking for 16.5 of those years? Should a teenage girl have a voice that is practically as low as James Earl Jones? I did also enjoy getting confirmation that Billy Ray did not procreate with a horse to create Miley and her chompers, but rather they came from her look a like mom, Mrs. Ed. Did you guys catch the two of their jaw lines sitting side by side……NEEEIIIGGGHHHHHH……….

Lee Dewyze – He sounded really good last night but honestly he looks like he is taking a math test. Not one ounce of fun to be shown on his face. He is like the EXACT opposite of Fun Bobby……Boring Lee……. I also wonder if his Frat brothers will haze and black ball him for having the audacity to wear a black rhinestone broach.

Paige Miles – Here here to the stylists! She looked AWESOME last night – but let’s face it she looked a lot better than she sounded. I was almost pissed that she did so bad for the sheer fact that it might make Mr. Urban stick around one more week.

Tim Urban – okay seriously I am starting a national campaign to ban Tim from any future performing arts endeavors….Holy **** why is he still here??? Do the girls really love the hair that looks as if he is always running backwards in a windstorm? And why did he have to borrow his dad’s ABC Appliance salesman’s blazer last night. Ugh the hair, the coat, the sliding into home plate …..It all just gives me a stomach ache.

Arron Kelly – I loved when Simon asked what was wrong with his voice and would have loved it if he just said “puberty”. I was a little shocked and appalled at his love crush on Miley…..I will stay the course and go on record and say that is just a beard hiding what we all know to be true. Did you catch Miley’s wide eyes and awkward head shaking no when Simon told him that he thinks he should KISS Miley….she apparently is thinking it too.

Crystal Bowersox – Look at this little sex kitten showing some skin last night……perhaps a hot flash from the mystery illness?? Anyway she SLAYED it in honor of my Mentor……I have nothing bad to say she is in such a different, relaxed, professional league.

Big Mike – we all know he is cute, likeable, and can sing – but it bothers me that he has a better complexion than me.

Andrew Garcia – Okay I am over the Roy Orbison glasses – can’t someone get him some contacts…..I am afraid that the black rimmed glasses aren’t the only thing I am sick of ……hate to say but Fez is on my short list.

Katie Stevens….They liked her. I didn’t – plain and simple…..too breathy …..Too throaty. Then she had the nerve to throw on neon pink SUSPENDERS and throw the hey look I am so young I am going RETRO into the 80’s …..Suck it. Did anyone catch her dad in the daisy dukes….Seriously Dad no teenager in America wants their dad to show thigh pubs on national TV.

Casey James – I am not really too concerned with how he looked or what he sounded like last night, I am more concerned with the fact that “Power of love” by Huey Lewis was a billboard hit……what a gay song.

Didi – She was very Taylor swift looking last night – but I am still rooting for this little one……I thought she sounded good and good for her for combating the judges critiques.

Siobhan – I randomly liked the Sanjaya Faux hawk……But this one still amazes me on how she looks like she should be re-instating the dewy decimal system back into every library in the US, but damn when the library closes for the night – this book worm can get her song on……it’s bizarre……Why did her Dad decide to dress up like Teen Wolf?

Going home………..Tim Urban (and it will be until he is gone)

Munson out…..

Thursday, March 18, 2010


If you haven't realized -I am off on vacation and enjoying every minute of the family time and sunshine!! If it makes you feel any better when AI was airing this week Chris and I were parked at some CHEESY karaoke bar watching seriously the most pathetic contestants imaginable, so instead of sitting in front of the tube we took on the role of Randy, Simon, Ellen & Kara and picked apart every aspect of these fools at this Karaoke bar while throwing a few back - it was fun I even hollar'ed a YO......WHAAAA at some 50 year old woman with gray hair down to her butt singing dido.....It was fun to take on the role of judge and critique these folks......cuz they DID NOT bring it.....
So I did catch up on the vote off....the other morning.....ridiculously mad at Tim Urban and almost considering throwing in the towel on this season......
Other than that - I will return next week with a sunburn and some vicious attitude against some folks that are still on that show!!

In other news - the Mystery illness has been resarched by a fellow AI addict....and it apparently relates to diabites.... Thanks for the research friend!!

Until next week
Munson out....

Friday, March 12, 2010

And here you have your mediocre Top 12

Okay so last night yes there were some upsets.....the only one that really irked me as you can imagine was Mr. Kentucky Waterfall - I think he deserved to stay in it.....who should have taken his place.......wait for it......yep you guessed it Tim Urban - are you kidding me, this fool wasn't even supposed to make it and here he is riding the tweener train all the way to gravyville. Ugh I personally will be soooo happy when he goes home he doesn't deserve to be sitting in stool and going on tour. Toddrick - no I don't think it was his time either but so be it he wasn't going to win, however he could have added some spark to this LAMO tour that will be happening. Girls I was surprised to see Kylie Minogue go home, but secretly glad to watch Lily walk away, do I think she is more talented - YES - however there is sort of a cocky air about her that I secretly enjoyed watching her get the wind knocked out of her.....More importantly the Mystery Illness still seems to plague me.....Crystal last night was a bit a miss......she looked like she was doped up on painkillers she didn't even smirk when put through to the top 12. She also had trouble sitting in the stool, or congratulating the person next to her. It is as if she didn't want to move her abdomen.....I am diagnosing the mystery illness to somewhere in that region, could it be kidney stones? gallbladder? Is she PG? Something was wrong and she looked like she was in pain. Then she was a bit emotional during the vote offs, which she doesn't strike me as an over emotional person anyway, so I was thinking is she contemplating bowing out due to the illness does that seat really belong to someone else....Am I creating a lot of drama out of nothing......possibly.

And I am not sure how emotionally invested I can get with the dueling pianos with Matt and Scott's fro....I thought it was awful and remembered why both of them were voted off. Matt definitely more tolerable, but still cheesy and ridiculous I felt like I was at a bachelorette party at Sing Sing in Lodo......

Okay I would just like to call it now.......
Casey desperately would like to pork Didi
Shibhon and Alex have or will be doing the horizontal bop soon.

Munson out....

Thursday, March 11, 2010


Okay Randy Jackson’s Ebonics is literally killing me….I can’t stop the laughter at his stupidity; I secretly like re-enacting it with my husband in every day conversation…..
Chris – I got to go unload the dishwasher before we watch AI….
Cherie – Yo……Whaaaaa?
I enjoy its high pitched ending where the “T” never really gets fair credit it is due…..
I have to thank Mr. Jackson (Randy not Tito….) for expanding my vocabulary and really enabling me to sound like a complete tool when I try to imitate him more often than not! I am not going to lie I have fallen to the demons that make me want to say dawg, slayed it, brung it, dat was hot, and most recently YO…..WHAAA? So what if my skin glows like an albino in the hot dessert I want to hop on this Ebonics train throw on a prep school cardigan and if someone makes fun of me for doing so…..I will just say YO……WHAAA??? Dawg stop trying to bring a sista down.

Okay on with it….

Lee Dewyze – Ugh this song, “Fireflies”, when on the radio literally makes me feel dirty – I am not sure if it is the super annoying high male voice or what it is but it literally is like fingernails on a chalkboard for me. He at least didn’t try to use that voice when singing it however in future performances I hope he can stop holding his nose as if he here having a “how long can I hold my breath” competition at the pool. Very nasally for me and can the stylists come and tackle this boy down so he doesn’t look like he just got back from the Sadie Hawkins dance in plethora of flannel shirts……

Alex Lambert – okay I think this guy has the best voice right now, him and big Mike. I know his “show stopper” performance is an issue but I am going to stand up proud and state that I saw a toe tap last night…..I mean baby steps…..But I will have to put my foot down at the 1inch width of his tie last night…uncalled for.

Tim Urban – I still can’t like this guy and Chris and I are just waiting for him to put on his chin strap in order to connect the two sides of his helmet that graces his cranium…ugh. I can’t lie he did sound “better” but that is just it even Simon said last night “FOR YOU it was terrific” meaning you had such low standards and expectations than anything more than horrific is good. I am also sorry this isn’t Sunday school enough with the halleighluah nonsense I don’t think I will be mistaken when I say I don’t believe Jesus has ever been on Billboard’s top 40.

Andrew Garcia – Somehow him singing the lyrics “you gotta rub me the right way” made the song a little less fun and a little more sexually predator like. It was ay-ite….see I can’t stop Randy, my mentor…..

Casey James – Sounded good, but nothing fancy for me. I have a hard time hoping on the country train.

Aaron Kelly – bye bye doogie. Plain awful.

Toddrick Hall – Kara needs to shut her pie hole – she told him it was too dramatic….I am sorry it is Queen – that is the pinnacle of dramatic… Drama “Queen” I feel like she is afraid to say anything positive at this point, like she is more “respected” if she gives a critique instead of a compliment.

Big Mike – Now I would usually be the first one to jump all over Kara’s ridiculous sobbing behavior last night but I can’t not lie – the first high pitched note the big teddy bear sang last night I literally shouted “I LOVE THIS SONG” It immediately took me back to high school and the many Saturdays that I would CONSTANTLY watch this movie and I am not going to lie there wasn’t one time (I know it might be hard to believe) that I watched Kevin Bacon run into that delivery room and as the tear drop of blood hit the operating floor that I didn’t sob like an infant. It is a GREAT song and he did it proud, and I can relate to the emotions of the song, but Kara pull it together you are on National TV not in the comfort of your own family room. I secretly think it was just an excuse to “cuddle” with Simon and get some more attention!

Bottom Two – Aaron Kelly & Tim Urban

Munson out…..

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Unknown artists....

Okay this might be quick today need to get lots done in order to prepare for vacation…..
Well I am sure it wasn’t just me that was super excited to only one hour of our time would be wasted last night. Okay my biggest beef with last night was “we don’t know what kind of artist you are” Hey NEWS FLASH they will be whoever the eff you want them to be…..Just dangle that little record deal in front of their nose and you will have Crystal Bowersox sporting some spandex and a Rhianna hair do before the week is over….these people want to make it ….they don’t care how. Pink didn’t start out as the tough cookie she is today…..people do what they have to in order to get their footprint out there have millions hop on board and then they can do what ever they want to….so I am quite sick of all this talk – just sing well and they can mold you later…..Case in point, one Britney Spears surely didn’t and still doesn’t know what or who she should be but guess what everyone loved her and she is taking care of her kids and her “habits” just fine.

Katie Stevens – She is such a cute girl but how BORING…..She seriously did 3 …count them 3 hip sways her entire performance otherwise she stood there like Walt Disney, frozen stiff. Even more depressing was the fact that she mentioned she was only 8 when Kelly C. won, seriously have I been watching this garbage for 9 years – Really? She will meet her demise Thursday

Siobhan Magnus – She sounded good, but I was waiting for her to get a little crazy gritty with it but she kept is simple and I guess that is okay. Why does she remind me of a 1920’s housewife she will not make eye contact when she speaks, she is completely soft spoken after just belting out House of the rising sun, it’s like she stops singing and becomes this complete introvert…..weird to me.

Lacy Brown – Still not completely on board with this one. She didn’t sound bad but she is never too exciting for me….I didn’t like how she stared into the camera longingly as if pleading for votes before it was even over. I don’t like when people sit the entire song either…..get your red headed ass up and do something ……slow song or not. Plus last night it was as if a toddler dressed her……5 bracelets, 2 necklaces, 3 rings, green nail polish, orange tank, leopard/gold lame cardigan sweater……seriously its like that moment in a Toddlers life where they want to show independence and they can pick out their own outfits and the mom just dreads what they have put on but you have to choose your battles and say …..well they did it themselves I have to be proud for that……I just don’t think her mom is still proud of those choices at this point.

Katlyn Epperly – okay I like her but seriously I couldn’t take the revenge of the nerds keyboard sitting in front of her – I felt like shouting “NO ON 15” the whole time. It was so Mr. Rogers and add the overall dress to the mix and it was like I flew back 15 years and was watching a Bangles video…….It just seemed too sophomoric at this stage of the game.

Didi – Okay I have been pulling for this emotional train wreck since day one and finally she brought it last night – truly liked it last night – stage presence still a problem, but sounded good and looks like she actually enjoyed herself instead of being scared s***less for once! Well done!

Paige Miles – Don’t just sing a lullaby when I choose to watch it at 10 pm…….I couldn’t stop hitting snooze! My dozing nap was much more enjoyable than her performance. Then she gets all emotional saying she had a personal connection with the song that meant a lot to her… with you I was on the edge of my seat as Ryan inquired as to what it was about and COME ON – did she just blame her poor performance because she was so emotionally attached to the song because of MICHAEL JACKSON????? All respect lost at this point…….Yes we were all sad the king was lost, but come on…….you can’t use that as your emotional attachment…I won’t allow you!! Poor Choice Paige Poor choice……

Crystal “poop teeth” Bowersox. – Yup she is our steady eddy at this point…..she sounded great, is super comfortable, but that is just it a bit too comfortable in my book…..Really? Did she really just plop her self down on her amp while the judges critiqued her? What’s wrong Crystal “mystery illness” got ya down (still bitter I don’t know the inside track on this one)? Seriously you couldn’t last 1 more minute on your feet to hear how great you are? Okay I am seeing a trend here too lazy to comb or wash your hair, can’t stand more than a three minute song, apparently too lazy too brush your teeth on a routine basis…..I am really starting to worry about her immune system….what is wrong with this girl?

Lilly Allen РI am not going to lie I fell asleep and was too mad at her knitted macram̩ earrings to even care.

Bottom two ……Katie Stevens and Paige Miles (even though I think Paige should stay and Lacy should go…..)

Munson out…..

Friday, March 5, 2010

White Bean Soup

Well let's just say the melting pot is no longer..... in one night they managed to kick off 3 african americans and one asian......I can expect Ryan Seacreast and Simon Cowell to recieve their phone call from Jesse Jackson any moment. I CANNOT believe that Tim Urban is getting by on his dough boy look irratating. Well I was 50/50 in my predictions, Didn't think Michelle needed to go just yet, but I am glad Didi stayed. Lacey should be thanking lucky red head stars....... Few things from last night....

Why did Crystal decide to wear her hospital gown? Did she get re-admitted? She looked like a bag lady last night.

Group song - did anyone think the girls were singing way too high? I did.

Danny Gokey - he was a little over the top promotional but I secretly miss his sad wife was something to grasp onto last season...all we have now is a "mystery illness" I also loved how he said he has moved forward, and right after that statement all he talked about was his late wife......I don't know just seemed like he was still using it for "sales" purposes!
That is it.

Munson out......

Thursday, March 4, 2010

Da Girls...

Well the girls definitely outshined the boys, but let’s not get carried away I could have this pathetic season wrapped up to top five by tomorrow evening. I am just not getting excited for anyone. They all seem to lack experience and confidence where past seasons people came from garage bands, and clubs with a bit more history attached to their resume than I was scrooge in my 2nd grade play. I am loosing ambition, I am not going to lie…….Someone…..well not even SOMEONE….EVERYONE needs to bring it, it’s no fun when the winner is so easily picked out. I have always enjoyed this show because it is competitive and there really are A LOT talented folks that make you sway back and forth with your loyalty…..that is not happening for me this year!

However I am glad Ellen is logging on and listening to me (or at least her stylist did)……she straight up went for the Ascot last night – well done! Ryan also called out Kara and Simon for their inappropriate personal space issues. Kara seems to be whoring her married self out a bit more than the average whore should. Yeah your pretty, you know what you are talking about, you have decent clothes, but seriously simmer down don’t waste your energy on one Simon Cowell – you can have bigger fish to fry…..Don’t fall into the trap of one Paula Abdul just because you are sitting in her chair.

Did anyone catch Big Mike’s Man scarf – the thing was so large that an average person could use it as a parachute.

Crystal Bowersox – okay on one hand I enjoy that she isn’t “I have a tumor… vote for me”….but come on the “mystery illness” is just bugging me. I have done some research and all I can come up with is “medical issues” why so secretive? Did she OD? Does she have Chlamydia? Did the bird that is living in her nest of a hairdo bite her? I just want to know, or wait for it…… the cynical side always has to bear her ugly head, did the producers make this up just to give her a favorable story line since she is an intrigue already? Hmmmmm…..At any rate I thought she sounded great, despite any made up illness. I finally figured out she reminds me of Joey Lauren Adams, the chick from “Chasing Amy” minus not one BUT TWO teeth on EACH side!!!

Hayley Vaughn – What a moonlighting marketing whore this one is…….the hair crafts……Well I am glad she has her hair crafts to fall back on……..she is brutal. I can’t take the high pitched lisp anymore. She butchered a very good song last night (I don’t normally like to out myself as enjoying a Miley Cyrus song – but come on its good) and after that performance last night she shouldn’t have even made it to Hollywood.

Lacy Brown – I am not sure what it is, but I WANT to have this girl do well, she is cute, sweet and likeable, but she just doesn’t do well. She looks the part but she is just got nothing there when she performs.

Katie Stevens – Judges weren’t too great on her last night – but I thought she was good she has got a great voice but trying to compete in an adult contest when you still look and act like a toddler is tough in anyone’s book.

Didi Benarmi – I still like her she sounded good to me – I know the judges didn’t like her, but she’s got it more than these other chicks do. What she doesn’t have is a backbone this girl is on the verge of an emotional breakdown every moment. I am afraid if Simon exhales too hard one day she will literally break on stage. Suck it up woman! Suppress those emotions!!

Michelle Delanor – haha – I think Vera Wang was a bit embarrassed that she was “outted” for attending AI…….She avoided the camera at all costs. It’s sort of like Donald Trump going to the Tellatubbies live on Ice show and everyone seeing him there. Judges liked her – I didn’t as much – I think she changed a great song for the worse.

Lily Scott – This is what I am taking about – it’s not like she is cocky but she stands tall and proud and is confident, good or bad. The other contestants should pay attention and follow suit.

Katelyn Epperly – besides the fact that she looked like she was on the verge of a sneeze the entire performance I thought she sounded good, despite singing Coldplay (a thorn in my overhyped side) and she looked adorable.

Paige Miles – She was seriously the only performer last night that TRULY looked like she was enjoying herself. She had fun she sounded good Kudos Paige.

Shiobhan Magnus – I like her she is unusual, she sounded good, but why o’ why did she look like she was Cinderella scrubbing the floors with her t-shirt and bobby socks and then realized she was late for the ball and ordered all the animals to quick fetch her a strapless dress and white heels that she then just threw them on over her rags and went with it……too much for me.

Bottom Two – Hayley Vaughn & Lacey Brown.

Munson out.

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Bad Boys!

And I am not talking about it in some “Outsiders” “Roadhouse” cool=bad way….I am talking about these guys are pitiful….no lie….I can maybe pick out two or three that are NOT painful to watch…..It’s disappointing. I think Adam Lambert really screwed it up for these folks this season. He set the bar high, if you liked him or didn’t, you still sat like a deer in headlights and were drawn in by his performance. These guys this season need to step it up I mean literally I contemplated balancing my checkbook as a more productive outlet than staring at the screen laying back in a recliner with a snuggie on – now that is just WRONG! Chris actually said last night “I would rather watch the blind guy dance again than this……..”

Now before I get too into it – I would like to take a moment and offer thanks to the man above for keeping our own Elliot Yamin safe as this past (terrible teeth) contestant was in Chile this past week as the force of nature whirled through it……Luckily he was unharmed, and is able to continue his “amazing” career in the cigar bar in Vegas….wah wah wah….okay seriously it’s embarrassing I know this stuff…..

I enjoy how they said the “guys have AGREED to change nights” Puh-leeze like they had a choice what are they going to say to producers who could make all their dreams come true “no thanks, not feeling it….” I am so sure….. And what is with the “mystery illness” from poop teeth? Still no reports other than it is “more serious than a common cold” – Well I would hope so….

The flirting between Kara and Simon is getting downright absurd….she practically sits on his lap – their shoulders never are not touching….and I can’t stand how she “gazes” into his eyes longingly to see if he is going to agree with her or not….I don’t see the personal space issue happening between Randy and “E” – they need to separate those two….no wonder her husband has to show up to the set…..

I am glad “E” got off her zoo shift early – what was with her homage to Steve Erwin last night – she looked like Bindi the jungle girl…..and can I suggest a turtleneck – Chris pointed out her 70 year old elephant skinned neck last night……perhaps an ascot instead of the white leather tie…..just trying to help.

Randy entertained me with these two goodies last night:
“From one musician to another” – because all of a sudden he is connected with every guitar player since he jammed with Journey 20 years ago….
“You know what I like about your package…..” – Really?

Okay so here we go…

Big Mike – Thought he sounded great….and I use great because it is in comparison to every other turd that graced that stage last night. I enjoyed that he has always been “huge” into theater He was a regular Troy Bolton, before Troy was Troy….ahh the dilemmas football – music – football- music……The fact that he can bench over 500lbs is ridiculous…..and who just says that? I liked him dressed up but he still couldn’t let go of the tennis shoes….please for the love get this boy some loafers…..
John Park – I mean I want to root for him being from the burbs of Chicago….I feel like I should connect with him and pull for him but the only thing I am really pulling for is for him to be yanked from the airwaves and never to be seen or heard again. Painfully boring and I am just thankful that Asian Karaoke is so popular – he should do just fine.

Casey James – okay big man on campus – your locks can’t save you now – the guitar was fine, but the vocals were mediocre at best…..I couldn’t wait for the backup singers to chime in to make it more bearable…..I am afraid you need to step to the side of the stage and become a Richie Sambora on guitar not Jon Bon Jovi in front of the mic.

Alex Lambert – I think this guy has the underdawg draw…..People are pulling for this little mulleted pile of nerves….and so am I …I think he is “more clever” and “experienced” than we think – he might ride this “poor little guy” thing all the way to the bank.

Toddrick Hall – Sang Tina Turner – again I will have to agree with the judges, he is trying to hard to impress – just be cool, dance your moves, sing your song, and be confident and normal….enough with standing “out” let’s just try to have a decent performance.

Jermaine Sellers – He sang Marvin Gay, but I will tell you what is g…to the …a…to the….y is the pee wee Herman bow tie, the Mr. Roger’s cardigan, the betty boop polka dotted shirt, the Bon Jovi acid washed jeans, the Mr. T faux hawk, Run DMC’s shoes, and Little Richards mustache all wrapped up in one outfit…..I mean it was like MTV of VHI threw up on him……simmer down I would much rather see you in your onesie on stage as you are a man after my own heart in that department, I as well likes to rock a onsie……so I was all ready to put my vote in and then you had to go ahead and spoil it by saying “I AXED him” and “I know God.” Sorry dude but we have now officially broken up.

Aaron Kelly – we changed up his first interview at our house last night and it goes something like this “something you don’t know about me is that I just got my first pub.” – Good one Chris…..anyway there were so many awkward non- singing moments last night (btw singing was good)
1.“that was awesome” when commenting about Simon’s quote to him after his performance backstage – I am okay with the language per say but he said it in a Chris Farley kind of manner “Remember when I met the Beatles” “that was awesome”
2.When they asked him if he likes Justin Beeber and he AWKWARDLY giggled as if to say don’t you dare OUT me in front of the entire nation……Opps too late.

Tim Urban – I can’t even get involved in this guy who’s voice is too high for his own good and absolutely painful to listen too I plead with all tweeners out there set this boy free…..

Lee Dewyeze - So glad Ryan commented on his pants being pulled up multiple times during his performance, it was so distracting that I stopped listening to “lips of an angel” and just started singing “pants on the ground, pants on the ground, looking like a fool with chur pants on the ground” he is good but still not amazing….I think again it is relative to how bad everyone else it….

That’s all folks

Bottom two – John Park & Tim Urban (make note these are the SAME as last weeks!)

Munson out…..