Thursday, April 30, 2009

Back to the dueling piano you go......

Well America – You got it right and thank goodness you did – I feel like Alison is so much more deserving of that spot and good for all of you for recognizing it! So here in list format are some things I enjoyed, found amusing, or noticed from last night…..

Ford Commercial – that Adam was always last in the running race….and it just made me flashback to the interview with his dad where he said “Adam and sports not so much…….” With a look of disappointment – made me giggle.

Ummm $6K to clean up a food fight – sign me up! I will mop that b-s*** up!

Does Paula own enough Vaseline to fight off the chub rub that she is going to be experiencing from those two cantaloupes rubbing together all night?

I truly appreciate Ryan calling out Randy as a name dropper and then all of them hopping on board to fuel the fire!

If I can look 1/3 as hot at Natalie Cole did last night when I am in my mere 50’s (or even now for god’s sake!) I would be a happy camper! Who does she think she is with those legs…..Watch out Tina Turner!

Taylor Hicks sort of surprised me – I actually really enjoyed the slim trim look, the performance and the song…..perhaps it was because he laid off his signature “hey” with the head jerk action. And why were his shoes 12 feet long?

I truly enjoyed the popping of Adams ego as he was “shocked” and “horrified” that he was in the bottom three – I think he deserved to be – perhaps when he grows up and allows his balls to drop he can hang with the big boys.

Okay Jamie Foxx – Now if I wanted to listen to a computer generated voice for 3 minutes I would turn to our resident expert….Britney Spears……Why in the world would you go this route and become that “artist” so annoying we all saw Ray we know you can sing but instead you opt to say hook me up to that synthesizer and let me lip-sync away? This is what is wrong with our youth – they probably all loved it – they are probably like wow he sounds just like my cell phone…….cool.

Finally I really enjoyed when Matt and Adam were giving their congratulatory goodbyes – Matt goes in for a handshake and Adam goes in for a smooch on the cheek…..umm guess everybody likes different stuff.

Farewell my fellow bronco…….it was your time to go…..See you on the tour.
Munson out!

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Rat Pack....

First of all are we seriously STILL watching the same season?? I have this feeling like it is really never going to end and then I heard the news - the FINALE in three weeks, happy and sad all at the same time. Happy that this madness will finally be over and sad that I might just have to go do something productive with my life on Tuesday and Wednesday nights.......

So I am sure Mr. Sinatra is eternally grateful for one Jamie Foxx speaking for him and explaining to these youngsters what the era was really all about. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?? #1 I had no idea he was this big recording artist, yes I have seen him in Ray and yes he was really good, but "pop star" really?? Have I been living under a rock? All I am saying Oscar or not, anyone that used to play a character called "ugly wanda" & "handyman" (handy man might be David Alan Greer) but non the less he doesn't deserve to teach and relate the Rat Pack era to our young ones.......

Kris - So yeah Jamie said he would record an album with him, of course he would........he will do anything to get back "in the game" so to speak after making "booty call" Kris was good it was plain, simple and to the point. Great vocals and I think this little puppy dog is making a great impact on America.....Stay humble and ride it all the way to the bank my friend!

Alison - Well I think this is the best she has looked and sounded this season. Now her outfits aren't always body appropriate, but it was a decent put together look and I really enjoyed it. I am not sure why Kara went all Ghetto on her ass "girl" "I ain't never heard" - is it because she just follows Randy and stays on course with his ebonics? Not sure but Kara honey those phrases sound ridiculous coming out of your silver spooned mouth.

Matt - Well well well - President Diether H. Haenicke is rolling over in his grave to give a big thumbs up - Thanks for giving a shout out to good ol' WMU! Matt sang Sweet Valentine, it was okay but I don't think good enough to keep this kid around. I mean is it too much to ask to smile or share a light hearted joke while talking with Ryan - I mean no doubt this guy is nervous but make some sort of connection other than "holy shit I am going to be in the bottom three again" look. Speaking of valentine - what is with Paula's Valentine day massacre dress???

Danny - He was good - not as FANTASTIC as all the judges gloated about but good enough to stick around.....I don't know about you but when Simon talks about swagger it just doesn't have the same connotation when Kara talks about it.....I find it quite creepy.

Adam - Okay seriously how many times has this guy "closed" the show - I feel like it is a bit unfair for him to always have the light show, firework finale......Okay yes, he is interesting, but I challenged myself last night.......I asked myself if I could listen to all 12 songs he sang all season long in a row and not kill myself? And honestly I don't know if I could without a LARGE bottle of vino and a Costco volume sized Extra strength Tylenol on hand. The hair band scream is wearing on me folks - I might be aging myself......but ugh it is painful to listen to sometimes. - I enjoyed that Paula made the M. Phelps reference that I spoke of last week........NICE.

That is all folks - I wasn't wowed or blown over by any particular one - because I think everyone is good it is hard to find that much fault at this point......

Bottom three - Matt, Alison, and YUP ADAM!!!!!! - Matt going home.

Munson out..............................

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Another TWO bite the dust......

So thank you for listening – I quite enjoyed the full 70’s gear outfits last night during the group performance. As most of you know I am all about a “theme”! But honestly are the microphones and earpieces necessary when the lip-syncing is so blatant and obvious?

So it appeared to be the choreographer’s dream of one washed up Paula Abdul coming to fruition last night – It was her crowning moment she has been waiting for ever since her cold hearted snake video in the early 90’s. No doubt she has talent in this arena, but there is a little word I would like to introduce to Ms. Abdul it is called “humility” I mean it was as if she won Miss Universe up there….. the hydrangea bouquet, the tightly glued together palm wave, the ridiculously inappropriate glitter t-shirt worn as a dress…….Paula act like you have been there before and don’t get so much enjoyment out of putting a little routine together for 7 random soon to be nobodies remember where you came from and do not falter from your illustrious career as a laker girl and dancing with that imaginary cat in “opposites attract” J

Anywho……I truly feel like the Ford people have run out of ideas – the commercial/video was so lame and stupid (not to say all others are academy award winners) but I feel like their producers are in a serious writers block….didn’t enjoy it one bit.

Okay so I don’t think any of us were that shocked or disappointed by last nights results. It is what it is and now I feel like it is GAME ON……It will be interesting how these boys and bozo battle each other for the top spots.

Now my heart doesn’t normally have a soft spot for people that are just ridiculous, but seriously I felt so bad for KC last night that I wanted to fully yell at the screen and tell him to run off the stage RUN KC RUN……..Come on dude hang it up your pipes are corroded and strained. It was as if I was listening to a toddler singing……it was as if he used his last dying breath on every single syllable. KC I hate to tell you but you have lost it…….The voice……The waistline…..Any sort of edge you might have once had with that stupid earring…..Your hairline Let’s face reality and just simmer back down in your lazy boy and get back to the bag of cool ranch Doritos you were munching on before Fox called you for your hopefully FINAL guest appearance.

David Archuletta – did he shrink or was he always a “little person” WOW I forgot how tiny that boy was! I however missed his Dad in his brown canvas baseball hat and camping shirt……Our little David has really grown up and finally can go with out a chaperone………I’m a big kid now!

Munson out…………………..

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Disco - sucks!

Ummmmmmmm when did George Hamilton pull a Benjamin Button and start hosting American Idol? – Ryan’s tan is getting more absurd by the week - I am afraid for his melanomic induced skin…….it is starting to age him and I don’t appreciate the orange smiley face creepishly staring at me for an hour each Tuesday……Tone it down Seacrest……And seriously when does he find the time in between his 478 jobs he holds down to get to the tanning booth?

Another color induced thing I noticed last night, now let me preface… I have a bit of a teeth fetish, meaning they must be large straight and all must be aligned in a straight row, so this comes as no surprise at how much this grossed me out…..but Mr. Jackson thought he could get away with only bleaching his top grill and left his bottoms completely yellow and disgusting as if he rubbed tobacco and coffee on them for 3 straight hours…..ugh if your going to go through the trouble to whiten the tops to the shade of white puffy cotton than please repeat for the bottom! Check it out tonight it is nasty. Now I was not at home when I watched last night so hopefully it wasn’t due to the TV that I was watching it on, I will verify tonight on my own tube…….

For as much as Disco was the theme last night , it didn’t appear that anyone broke it down and got on top of that funk…….So just a-yite for me. I don’t know why I expect someone to step out in a big fro and glitter as if they were walking in Studio 54, but a little something from that era would have been nice…..

Lil – wow they are really setting her up to get the eff out of Dodge…..I thought she sounded okay, not great, and it appears that she is “forcing” the “be young and connect to your audience” thing… just isn’t coming naturally to her. I am sure we will hear the race card issue be dropped shortly. I will have to give her props for her bravery last night – really a straight up Uni-tard? Now I know this is exactly what I was asking for as it is indicative of the era, however there was so much TOE kicking that I couldn’t concentrate. It was like an entire HOOF staring at me! Did anyone catch Lil’s Mom ready to beat some serious ass when the judges gave their review….She frightened me.

Kris – Okay seriously awesome. Loved every minute of it. Mr. Cowell please take note this is the CORRECT way to wear a plain white T – no scoop or V-necks just plain and simple and damn sexy…….not sure what Paula’s ramble about girl shopping and undies was all about – but all I am saying is if he is looking for some grunders – I WILL work hard for the money…..I am just saying!

Danny – Ummm what is with the George Michael facial hair? When someone is caught doing lewd acts in public bathrooms it is not a good sign that you are trying to look like that said person. I didn’t find him as “amazing” as the judges did – Yes he is good – but I am almost getting sick of the raspy groggily voice. His performance was boring and kinda lame.

Alison – Did she “paint” on her leggings or did she actually attempt to squeeze something that tight onto her legs – it gave me cramps just thinking about it. I also was experiencing aching in my arches as I watched her dance in those stilts she was wearing. Apparently I need to start shopping in the adult puffy paint sweatshirt woman’s department where there are rows of elastic and isles of Danskin bootie footwear…..Getting old is a treat I tell you! She sounded good and I am enjoying that the hair shade is going from Pink to orange – perhaps next week we will see the orange to brown transformation!

Adam – Okay I have had it up to here with them stroking his EGO… is absurd. Why don’t they all just walk up on stage and bend over for him? I am sure he would be more appreciative of that gesture than the nice words……..I mean yes he is good but it’s not as if we are watching Elvis or Bon Jovi or something….. And the ridiculous look of pride on Paula’s makeup caked face is too much. They pan to her welled up eyes as if she is Mrs. Phelps watching Michael go for the 8th gold medal……. And I can’t really let the peacock faux hairdo go unnoticed, there was really nothing faux about it – it had so much volume and thickness to it that I thought it was going to spread its wings and fly right out of the Kodak theatre. Also the creepy diamond encrusted snake pinky ring is all too Liberace and OBVIOUS to me……

Matt – I thought he sounded great and really gave it his all, knowing his ass is on the line.
I will not deny either that the boy has some moves……I found it entertaining and good since he actually did the “disco” version. So poo poo to you judges for swaying America to vote him off after making a damn fine comeback in my mind.

Anoop – Now….when you already have two very large caterpillars above each eye, why would you go ahead and grow one on top of your lip as well?? I thought he was boring and uneventful – bye bye.

Oh yeah I almost forgot the fact that vinnie neil was there was all too embarrassing to address.....also the fact that him and his girl toy have the exact same highlights.......Can you say WASHED UP???

Okay so bottom three Anoop/Matt/Lil SOUNDS FAMILIAR huh (still bitter over the waste of time last week) with Anoop and Lil going home.

Munson out.

Thursday, April 16, 2009


So stupid – Do you mean to tell me I wasted two hours of precious time staring at one unattractive, creepy, greasy Quinton Tarantino for nothing? This whole save is sort of stupid towards the end, I can see in the beginning if someone like a Chris Daughtry gets eliminated before he should but seriously there are only 7 left and I will have to agree with Simon – Matt, as much as I want to see my little “Western Bronco” succeed he will not WIN this competition, he might have a career, but he is not walking away with the trophy so that is my point – why do we prolong the agony? It was as if the Tarantino week didn’t even need to exist (on many different levels!) So I was left disappointed and annoyed last night – it’s not like this “immunity” changes the game and causes some sort of sneaky strategy like in Survivor…..It just makes us listen to these peeps who we all know will eventually go home anyway for one more week. I feel cheated and bitter for many reasons which I will now list…..

I had to endure the horrific group dance to Maniac…..really of all the songs we pick Flash dance? How current and cutting edge….the producers are certainly not listening to the judges expertise as the continually beat a dead horse by saying “song choice is everything” I did however enjoy the movement of the group performance I think they used every ancillary item in the Kodak theatre besides the stage as a big eff you to Scott….I mean they were on stairs, the judges platform, scaffoldings, the audience it was as if they were all mouthing “look at me I am free!”

The camera men, please don’t just pan to Zac Effron for 3.5 seconds and then be done – gentleman please once you focus on that face of perfection there is NO reason, I mean absolutely no reason to move that camera anywhere else. And yes, even if he has a stupid ski hat on in the middle of LA in a controlled temperature environment there just are no excuses.

Seriously Zac and Kris in the same facility at one time– FOX what are you trying to do to all the middle aged mothers/cougars out there? Seriously, bordering on cruel.

Ali-son – oh I am sorry are we bothering you – did you not have enough time to rush over from yoga class to make an appearance on the nationally broadcasted, most watched show in America? What is with the straight up sweats she was wearing last night – I know we are in the age of comfort, but my little bozo the clown you have crossed the line.

Along the same lines – Randy are you having a tough long day? What is with the camera always catching him yawning and starring with his mouth agape? Were you stressed and flailing all day trying to gather Journey up for a reunion tour? Pull it together dawg it is one hour…….grab a red bull and focus up!

Miley – there is not enough time in a day for me to start up a rant on this little gum chewing hillbilly…..She is so annoying with her gown, nasal southern drawl, drowning in dry ice all while feeling it necessary to head bang during her love ballad.- don’t even get me started on this tween sensation……I will end up in a yoga class if I continue so I will leave it at that.

Jennifer Hudson – what a bad song…….I mean trust me I am a big fan and was right there with her screaming “I’m not leaving without you” in Dream Girls………but this song was annoying I felt like she was off key and then just started fumbling with her ear piece as a saving grace so she could blame it on something – I don’t think it was loose or falling out at all! But of course give the girl a break she practically lost her entire family this year – perhaps a few weak notes is excusable.

Okay maybe it is the accountant in me but I have a bone to pick with AI – we say the bottom 3 each week however I don’t feel like it is fair to have four there last night and misrepresent to the public. I mean last night you had Matt, Lil, Anoop, and Oh yeah Lil’s ass……seriously it needs it’s own separate stool and I think they should give out a separate text and phone number so we can vote that thing off separately from Lil herself……..

Okay Disco next week should be fun!

Munson out…………..

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Pulp Fiction, Kill Bill, & Resavoir Dogs Totally screams singing competition?????

Okay really a Legend?? I might have to disagree……Webster defines it as the following.

Archaic. a story of the life of a saint, esp. one stressing the miraculous or unrecorded deeds.

Nowhere in their definition does it confirm the following about Quinton Tarentino….
Make three decent movies and you are now considered a legend.
A person who looks like Crispin Glover/George Mcfly….automatically becomes a legend.
Just because you were the kid in the back of the classroom picking your nose and eating your own boogers and then became known in Hollywood do you automatically become a legend?
Just because you are obsessed with these kids making it, and become obsessed with the show, don’t make you a legend, I surely am not.
Just because you have a few catchy tunes in a few of your movies doesn’t make you a legend.
When you are under the age of 50 you should never be considered a legend, have you really put in your time by your late 30’s?

Another highlight for me was the constant panning to Katie Couric. I think she finally realized the only way for her to remain on Prime Time TV and not have the people change the station is to show up at an AI taping……I am just saying leaving the Today show was the worst decision EVER.

I would like to take a moment to really give Ryan props – the impersonation of Randy Jackson last night was uncanny and SO CALLED for – I am so glad he made him and everyone else MORE aware of what a TOOL he sounds like. You did me proud Mr. Seacrest!

Okay let’s get ready to RUMMMMMBLLLLEEEE……. I will have to first apologize for probably some incoherent rambling that might happen, you see last night was date night for Hubbie and I and after getting home at 11:45 pm (if you don’t know me that is unheard of and I am flabbergasted that I hadn’t turned into fairy dust at that point!) at any rate a few glasses of wine and a big gulp of caffeine at the movies somehow I felt it necessary and was completely alert to watch AI until 1am last night – but now I feel like Crap-o and might sound like it below as well… that is my warning……

Ali-“son” – I like her but let’s not get cocky I mean I don’t think you are at the level to start wearing one (like a Michael Jackson) glove that is Lacy (like Madonna) I feel like you have a few oats to sew before you are able to pull that one off……I felt like she “over sang” and was “shouting” a lot last night – but the judges seemed to love it, so be it. Do you all think her hair is a wig – it is so thick and seems to have a life of its own?

Anoop- okay you had me at “everything I do”, you see I have sort of a soft spot for Bryan Adams, he sang our wedding song – I know this is where it is straight out embarrassing to admit to our 1998 nuptials as if we got married in 1985 and rocked it out to Summer of 69. But it was one of his slow acoustic versions of “heaven” and I still love it to this day – so suck it all you “Endless love’s” and “At Last” romantics – I went old school 80’s with Bryan Adams and not ashamed of it. However, I might be ashamed to admit that my mother n law wore a Gene Simmons mask at the reception – yep sounds like your regular white trash BBQ J at any rate I think he sounded AWESOME and was proud of him…..He is however getting a little nutso with his style choices – I feel like he is confused and misdirected…..I think he can’t decide so he just says eff it I will wear all of it, including, a striped tie, a plaid shirt, Varsity football blazer with a Natzi armband….. WTF?

Adam – Okay do you think he and Pete Wentz talk about what they are wearing on a daily basis? I feel like they are too junior high kids talking like caddy chicks “OMG what are you going to wear tomorrow?” “OMG really I am going to wear my hoodie and skinny jeans too!” “See you in homeroom and don’t forget your guy liner we will definitely need to reapply by study hall” it kinda bugs me….. So as soon as the laser light show simmered down – I tried to reflect on this high pitched wonder….yeah he is entertaining but is he straight up annoying as well?? I feel like can he just get through one song without the AYYYIIIEEEEE scream (sorry that doesn’t translate well on paper!) but I think you all know what I mean, but I started thinking of my youth (way back when) and those high pitch screams are everything I loved about music back then and the reason I loathe so much current R&B today……So Kudos Adam, I have got your back (well I will stand in line behind all those other boys who definitely HAVE it too!) and I will support your metal hair band influence if it means a return to the 80’s era that I crave…

Matt – Again Bryan Adams – I wasn’t as mad as all the judges – but he did sound a bit out of breath and out of tune…. I was more concerned with when he sang “have you ever really loved…..a woman” all I could hear was “have you ever really ever seen ……Don Juan Demarco??” Sounds like an academy award winner. I also enjoyed Simon making fun of Kara talking as if she was throwing up – I think it seriously killed Simon not to have input on each contestant last night. And I can’t tell you how much I love to watch him egg Paula on…….

Danny - Endless love……(okay so maybe more of you can relate your own wedding experiences to this – so be it – you are a more sophisticated gal than I!) But honestly I was waiting for the BIG revel to come out that this was his late wife and his wedding song……I was waiting for the tear drop to fall from his eye when the last string on the harp was plucked…..I was waiting for him to finally remove his wedding band and place it gently on the piano in a heart wrenching symbolic moment…..but nothing…… just a nicely performed song with elegance and class all while wearing a powder blue Miami vice blazer…..Congrats Danny.

Kris – Yummy. That’s all I have – what do you expect at 12:50 am – I thought I was practically having a wet dream until Lil came onto the scene.

Lil – sang the Rose a classic if you will I though she sounded good – but I think the judges are trying to sway her outta there just because she doesn’t have the pull the others do for ratings…..And it seems like everyone is pulling off the skinny jean….. why is it when I try them on in the dressing room I can’t stop from laughing hysterically at myself?

Bottom Three Matt/LiL/Kris – with Lil going home.

Munson out.

Thursday, April 9, 2009

The "eyes" have it.......

Geez this little thing known as my job really got the best of me today….so I have to apologize for the delay…….So this might be short and sweet and hopefully I can get caught up from the spring break frenzy (the whole 2 days I took off haha!) and focus on what is important……like the following:

Can someone please regulate the thermostat in the Kodak Theatre – Paula seems to think she is Antarctica wearing full length elbow LEATER gloves…..Please folks we don’t want to do any damage to those phalanges – then we couldn’t watch her clap like a seal….a pastime I most enjoy…Or perhaps she is like George Castanza when he became the hand model and her insurance company is making her wear these to protect those tiny didgets that like to model her over weight bearing jewelry line……? These are just some angles….one more she is just straight up lunatic and think they look good with her outfit.
The mayor of K-Zoo….. Do we have another Kwame Kilpatrick on our hands?? What is a mayor doing in a dueling piano bar every week to witness what great talent Matt is and then randomly has enough time in his schedule to fly to LA and cheer on his old bar buddy…..I am just saying……I would think the people that voted for you were hoping you would actually do some “political” duties……
So no more awkward worry some moments….Scott has left and it was the right thing to do at this juncture. I know it is sad, but it was the best thing that could of happened for the competition to keep things fair….and more importantly lets bust out the …..full on dance recitals!! And the drama over the immunity idol was absurd – don’t ax like you would want to string this poor little guy along any further to make yourself feel better……If you love something set it free……
Flo-Rida – ummm WHO???? Okay I have heard the song before in the car but the name is just stupid can’t rappers just be named Bob? And wow how things have progressed over the years – back in the day it was “you spin me right round right round like a RECORD baby right round round round” now we have graduated to “you spin me right round baby right round while you go DOWNTOWN??” Ugh makes me want to not have my kids grow up EVER. I mean I am sure there were hidden (key word) meanings back in our day, but it is just blatantly obvious now and it takes the fun out of it….I sort of enjoyed that it took me a good 30 years to figure out what Frankie goes to Hollywood meant when he said “relax don’t do it”
Kelly Pickler – she is cute and darn skinny my friend, but why when she was done performing did she act like she just finished the Boston Marathon? She was so out of breath and winded that I thought she might just pass out. It’s not as if she had a whole backstreet boys dance routine going on – perhaps eat some protein and get a little bit of energy so you can actually complete your performance for a whole 3 minutes! And Also Ms. Pickler please say a little prayer tonight thanking Jesus for that face and body you were blessed with because that song and your voice were something rotten – I now remember whey she didn’t last on AI!

That’s all folks….
Munson out…..

Wednesday, April 8, 2009


Well, well ,well Comcast…..You may have duooped me once, but not this time, my very smart husband (self- pronounced) somehow had a premonition and decided to DVR the next show after AI, since we somehow seem to be getting cut off more often than not as AI usually runs over because of Paula’s diarrhea of the mouth. So I did catch Adam’s performance last night – so Touché – you will not win this time, although I wish you had Adam’s performance as you will hear below was not one to write home about even though Mr. Cowell gave it a standing O…….

So Kara last night – did her outfit look like every woman over the age of 80? You know that empire waist look where the woman’s slacks are hiked over the belly bulge and practically tucked under the bra as if it would possibly fall off those muffin tops full of retirement home slop…..I wasn’t a fan. I do however like how she is “more technical” (again self proclaimed) in her review and it just sends Paula into a sweat induced frenzy…….I like to watch it unfold, I enjoy the uncomfortable ness…..

Speaking of Paula…..Chris and I decided she is like a marionette, however her “handler” from above somehow is having seizures or is high on acid as he can’t control her spastic movements. Case in point the pure fact that she finds it necessary to get up and dance like “were going to party like it’s 1999” is on even when it is a slow subdued song proves that “her handler” needs medical attention he needs to get a grip so she doesn’t have arms flailing and her head rocking to the beat of “hells bells” while Scott is singing “the search is over” ……..

And a random note did anyone catch the creepy Max Hedrum wax figure in the audience? He was motionless and I couldn’t understand what the point of him was, I thought it might have been a statue of Ryan Seacrest, but there was no mention of it all show…..Bizarre.

Danny – 1980 – umm I don’t think “stand by me” came out in 1980, perhaps a remake was, but I think he should loose by default – I mean 1980 of all the songs to pick from………..Although he sings it good (like Paula usually says – he could sing the phone book) but I didn’t like his “version” and as a side note – I am sort of getting sick of this phenomenon of “your version” (insert Adam) – sometimes things are just good and don’t need to be changed (i.e. stand by me…..or a Reese peanut butter cup – now why would you make it whipped?) I would like to thank Danny for paying homage to the 80’s and wearing his bright purple shirt with pride last night!

Kris – 1985 – Ahhh a dream of a taxi driver – such aspirations…..haha thought that was really funny! Okay again SONG CHOICE – really 1985 and you pick “all she wants to do is dance” seriously put your vajay jay away and pick a real song (no offense Mr. Henley I am sure I have busted out a few “Carltons” from fresh prince to your song, but come on……) And they way he performed – ugh how much stage presence can you really have when you have a harem of 500 girls within 4 cm circumference of you? Annoying, who is he think he is Elvis? And I feel a bit sad to admit that it just might not work out for Kris and I after I realized he weighs about 93 lbs, I came to this terrible realization as I was inserting an ice cream sandwich into my mouth and then looking at his waist size, I might crush the poor boy…….I must bid you ado….my little anorexic sweetheart. I will have to enjoy you through vision only……

Lil – 1985 – Well she had the dance moves spot on last night – but that was about it….the vocals, as well as we all know she can sing, were not good – why isn’t this chick stepping it up – I feel like when she finally gets sent home she is going to be whipping up some mac and cheese at the stove and contemplating putting her head in the boiling water to end her misery as she realized she just screwed up an opportunity of a lifetime……And I am glad we gotten the name straightened out and I would like to thank my mom (as much as I didn’t like my name growing up) for taking more time in contemplating my name instead of taking my grandma’s name and just saying ummm we will take the first three letters and call it good……if that was the case I would be named DOT.

Anoop – Suck it Anoop – don’t kick us Michiganders when we are down – don’t come on there doing your Arsenio Hall arm pump and give shout outs for the NC Tar Heels…..we are still tender from the loss….. have some respect! So he sang True Colors – and boy did he deliver, I mean with the colors, blue shirt, pink tie, neon green and white cardigan……oh vey…..It was like Mr. Rogers on crack….He sang it well, and I loved the judges comment “you ACTUALLY have a good voice” Seriously I would hope so after 9 months of listening to him – I would hope he would have some sort of basis for being here. I also enjoyed all the pictures of him as a kid, as I can relate to taking way too many pictures of my kids, but I did realize something as I was laughing at all Anoop’s corny dress up outfits and how he hates pictures now, my son will also hate me for it too someday as I remembered I had Brady in a straight up tie today! Ha…..

Scott – 1985 Okay its getting uncomfortable, the bouncing while he sings, the random electric guitar ripping (was it a requirement that the guitar be from 1985 too?), all the eye references (“I can see forever… the search is over”), the crazy staring into wrong areas, the high pitch squealing, Ugh it has got to end. I am over the sympathy plea for him to continue, don’t get me wrong I don’t have a heart of stone, but enough is enough – he was able to share what he has, which is great, but it is time to return to home and get that job as a music teacher in your local elementary school. Even the judges still can’t criticize him without pre-empting with a compliment first…….It has to stop, yes he is blind but he isn’t the best anymore…….not by a long shot….hate me for saying it but it is true…… And Randy don’t just say to him “I want you to leap off the stage” he is still blind, and we have been nervous about that very situation from the start. Ugh.

Allison – 1992 – Okay who feels old?? ME!! I like how her mom calls her Ali-“son” as if she were getting training from Mr. Migiagi She is really good singer for 16 yrs old, there is no denying it – and I don’t know why they were so harsh on her for her likeability, she seems pretty Corny to me? One thing that I have let go for way too long is her style, I have let it slide and I am not sure why….is it the fact that she has pink hair is she automatically allowed to dress like a turd and no one say anything? But I have let it continue for too long no one in their right mind should be able to wear a ruffled, tiered, mullet skirt…..Enough is enough!

Matt – 1985 – who knew he was from Dearborn (so is the hubbie!) we will have to look him up in the yearbooks! He did Stevie Justice last night – I enjoyed it! Although he is borderline annoying with all the vibratos kicking……And yes Tom, I caught it this time – Paula “two words…..standing O” last time I checked “o” isn’t a word……and then the Marionette continued to flail and practically fall off her chair – she is a peach that one…..

Adam – well for those of you who caught it, I am sorry. He sang Mad World – which I actually had to get online to figure out what it was and why the F would Simon give him a Standing O – I don’t think Simon has ever gotten out of his chair before – Tears for Fears – apparently he stripped it down to a gay slow version of a terrible song to begin with. It was like listening to a four year old toddler whine for about 3 minutes straight. I wanted to yell at him and put him in a time out! Also wondering why Adam gets special treatment I mean every other contestant had some white lighting but when Adam got out there he straight up had blue laser beams sparkling down on the stage, can we please not make it so obvious who they are trying to carve out as the winner… least make the competition interesting…….And my final word for you Adam is there is a little known rule we all try to live by and it is… don’t wear white pants prior to Memorial Day.

Bottom three – Scott/Lil/Allison(not that I agree with it) – Scott to go home (in my eyes) but secretly I think it will be Lil.

Munson out…….

Thursday, April 2, 2009

Bye Bye Birdie....

Okay so be it, yes America she is a nice pretty face, a body to die for, hair that only we can dream about, but it was the right thing to do. Stand proud and do not falter. The other folks with a voice that we can all stomach to listen to for more than 3 minutes are very appreciative. So Megan took the fall last night – and rightfully so, she shared with us her bird calls (what is with that? I apparently am not in on the joke!), her annoying talking through songs, her standard hip shake dance move, but I think she used up her bag o’ tricks and had nothing else to give. She however is one quirky lady; she seems in her own world all the time and just like a quintessential party girl…..with that being said I can’t imagine how she ended up with a full sleeve of tattoos and a fetus in her belly while she was a teen?? Hmmmm……..

Last night’s group performance – I was so looking forward to it…..Scott tucked safely behind the keyboard, I thought this is a chance for the rest of the folks to turn up the heat with the choreography, but no go……There was just a lot of side stepping and arm sways – really? you leave the blind guy out and have an open slate and that’s all you got to show for yourself – I wanted to see line changes, partner dips, lifts – but apparently I needed to flip over to DWTS to get that sort of jazziness…….I truly think they missed their opportunity to show their stuff last night, but perhaps they are all just using Scott as their beard and hiding their inability to shake their groove thing. It was sad and disappointing.

David Cook – I was such a fan last year and still am and for the following reasons.
1. He kept it real and still gives his brother props with the AC on his guitar.
2. He has kept his bangs under control with an appropriate length of side swipe…..(if you remember he got a bit over zealous with the side swipe last season)(speaking of side swipe did anyone catch Adam’s blond haired friend – his side swipe started at the nape of his ear and went all the way around as if he was a mini Donald Trump – it was sooooo dumb looking…….I can only hope the crew cut comes back into style before my son is a teenager!)
3. He is taking care of his own…..his mom was sporting some MAJOR bling last night now that his son is rolling in it….
4. He has gone platinum and for good reason – kudos to you…..
However recently there are a few reasons why I could not like him in the future…..
1. The fact that his song last night wasn’t that amazing
2. The fact that his beard is a bit to Neanderthal.
3. The fact that he still loves chains hanging from any piece of clothing
4. The fact that he broke poor Kimberly Caldwell’s heart. Distance, smistance…..keep it real……
5. The fact that he has recently been outted for yelling at his fans and becoming a bit Hollywood…..

Okay so lets talk about the one zipper eyed crazo up on stage, she goes by the name Lady GaGa, which I am not going to lie, I enjoy her tunes on my I-POD regularly, they are fun catchy and are the ones that no doubt will stick in your head for the rest of the day…..But WTF was last night – she was outta hand. First of all the breakdown with the piano at the beginning – unnecessary – and did that piano belong to Andre the Giant – why did she look like Vern Troyer next to it? And the crazy dance moves – I could barely keep track of what was going on – so thanks but no thanks I will revert to my I-POD and enjoy your songs without the visuals.

Munson out.

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Popular Downloads.....

Seriously what does Fox think I am supposed to do with all my extra time? An hour an a half is all I had to commit last night – I am not sure how I feel about this….. what do they want me to do? Actually converse with my husband? Actually prepare for the next morning so it isn’t a total cluster? Actually do something productive… dare you FOX….shame on you!

Okay so first and foremost – did anyone catch David Spade sitting behind Randy Jackson last night…..okay I might get off target here but so be it…..I don’t get this little munchkin, he is getting more tail than I care to think about it – what do girls (insert Heather Locklear and Nicolette Sheridan here) see in this guy he is about 4 foot 2 and has creepy, inappropriate wind blowing hair and a gross foo man chu stache. Last night I caught him actually booing and getting really riled up over the judge’s comments – really?? booing and an actual “thumbs down” gesture – David I am embarrassed for you and don’t appreciate you preying on the young starlettes on stage go back to black book and continue banging every blonde with dark black roots that is over the age of 50 that lives in the Hollywood Hills…….Yuck. And then seated next to my little Joe Dirt was another popular star one Harry Hamlin – WOW FOX is really pulling out all the punches when they do their celebrity scanning across the audience…….I am impressed.

Randy – does anyone really care that he is here this year – he seems more worthless (if that is even possible) than last year. And great now he is jumping on the Sally Jesse red frame bandwagon – enough of the square shaped frames, someone change it up go old school, what happened to the big plastic frames that were presented to us in “Working Girl” that Melanie Griffith made me go out and purchase the next week?

Simon – now I haven’t spent much time on Simon – I mean you can only rip on a BVD white T for so long, but last night as the judges walked out and the blue light glimmered upon his high top fade – Chris and I couldn’t believe the right angles this square little haircut was portraying……I mean from the back (yes we freeze framed it) it looks like a box of cereal, what is going on and why must he not make it so Jazzy Jeff from 1987?

Paula not much to say other than why did she randomly have a pink and purple chandelier hanging from both her neck and ears last night?

Let’s roll…..

Anoop – okay Usher – I was excited for him to turn that mutha out last night and NO GO……Usher is known for his stage performances – he is a dance mogul (haha) and Anoop didn’t deliver the goods – I mean let’s face it – it’s not like this is an amazing song but Usher does it justice with his moves and enthusiasm…..Anoop, nada. I was more “caught up” in the chain that was dangling from one left shoulder, interesting choice.

Megan – OVER OVER OVER it……..Megan pack your hot a** up and head back to single mommy Ville. You are dunzo. She is so forcing this jazzy voice upon us even when it doesn’t’ apply – case in point last night. She seemed much undecided last night – The Song: I guess I will do one that I love, but don’t sound very good singing it. The necklaces: I can’t decide which one to wear so I shall wear all 18 of them. The hair: I want it pulled back – uh wait I think “the tail” is coming back leave one long braid down the side out. She was a total hot mess last night and I will be happy to see her go.

Danny – Excuse me while I take a break to remind myself to go by Kleenex to replace my supply I used last night. What do you think you are doing to us Mr. Gookey? We all know your wife passed away not too long ago and then you go ahead and sing a song that blurts out “what hurts the most” every 30 seconds. We feel your pain and I must congratulate you on working the sympathy vote, not that you need it you have a great voice, but it was sort of like Scott singing, “I can see clearly now….the rain has gone….I can see all obstacles in my way” low blow dude.

Allison – OK warning you WILL feel old after this little nugget – so she sang No Doubt, one of my favs, and said she “grew up” listening to it, now Chris figured out she was 3 when that song came out, and as I typed that another veracious vein popped out on my thigh. Wah wah wah… So Allison is a regular modern day Cyndi Lauper isn’t she, I thought she sounded great last night, but come on let’s not build up the stress level for playing the guitar in this performance when she literally strummed it three times and then wore it on her back the remainder of the song. And yes the outfit was straight up ridiculous, but it has been for 4 months now, why are they just picking it apart now? It would be more odd if she came out in a blouse and slacks (which by the way she has no idea what those two items are!) and I do…wah wah wah.

Scott – I also think he sounded the best he has since this thing started last night, but I am going to say he still needs to go – he can’t compete with the others at this point. I also don’t think he is being treated fairly, I mean is it really fair to use a Richard Marx’s headshot to style his hair? I think not. He almost had a full on Kentucky waterfall kicking last night, ugh they just can’t get it right. So much for keeping your friends close and your enemies closer. And I am SO glad Paula is proud of him, not for his challenge, but because forgetting his challenge…..thank you Ms. Abdul for being so clear and concise.

Matt – wah wah wah…..ugh the Coldplay esque keyboard performance was SO LAME! He sounded shaky and uncertain and I was really sad for him. I think this kid has talent but he has nothing to draw the folks in – he is a bit shy and stand offish….so I don’t think people like him, as well they shouldn’t after last night.

Lil – I actually liked the wig, but I kept thinking she reminded me of Gayle King, Oprah’s secretive gay lover. She sounded amazing last night – old song or not she was good. Now I know I have mentioned it before and I hate to be obsessed with it, but that backseat of hers is something special I tell you – I am like a deer in headlights always wondering if it is real or if she is stuffing with Charmin in case she has a fall on stage – CRAZY! And why did her kid cling to Randy Jackson as if she found her long lost baby daddy? And why was Lil tearing up as if to believe Randy would all of a sudden adopt her three children and they would live happily every after?

Adam – who does this guy think he is Eddie Munster, performing as James Brown? I will have to admit I am falling prey to his unpredictability. I enjoy how he changes it up every week (a little reminder of one David Cook) at least it is something to look forward to. I thought he was good energetic and loving life up there last night……I didn’t like how he overly enjoyed his “sexy” moves and over emphasized “ughs and umps” because all I kept thinking of was the story I just read about him and how he was caught with his tongue down another man’s throat, now that might work for some of you but I loose a bit of the “sexiness” with that little tidbit. Why did Paula become Confucius last night……”true genius doesn’t’ fulfill expectations, true genius shatters it” she has some amazing words to share. We should bow down to this oh powerful one…….

Kris – It pains me to say something bad about this little kitten, but please don’t try and have a five o’ clock shadow when you have five measly hairs on your upper lip. Let’s stick to clean cut so I can get back to my day dream PLEASE – he sounded good and yummy still! Like it. I enjoyed that Kara counted her words before speaking this time, Tom, I think they are all reading this and must have read your comment thank goodness you got her back on track!

Bottom three – Anoop, Megan, Matt – Megan going home.

Munson out…..