Friday, March 27, 2009

Back to the Oil Rig......

Okay I will have to apologize as I will not be able to do this in chronological order today there is just no way I can wait - so we must immediately fast forward and address this pronto......

Did Stevie really give a shout out in the middle of his medley "I LOVE YOU BARACK OBAMA" ? Well I can answer that, yup he sure did and you couldn't have missed it and I will be mad if you did, whatever I was eating or drinking at that moment went flying in a misted spray as soon as I heard it - I don't know if my gag reflux was due to laughing or embarrassment or just plain dumbfoundedness...... Now I get it, it is a very exciting time for his community as well as everyone else's, history has been made. Where I have a problem with this is this .........

#1. Does he really think the President of the United States of America is just sitting home watching AI and listening? And if he is WTF!
#2. I envisioned the President of the United States sitting at home all snuggled on the couch with Michelle, Malia, & Sasha (as only a perfectly rounded "normal" family would do) doing a chest/fist pump and mouthing "right back at ya Stevie" (because they are just a normal family that has a swing set.....) and then it angered me that this is what he is spending his time doing.
#3. So Stevie how dare you make our President be burdened with this show and your love letters to him while our country is in such a financial turmoil, the man is busy and cannot continue to cancel his cabinet meetings to make time for AI and your "shout outs" let the man get back to his "Hail Mary" and hopefully getting this country back on track.
#4. Lastly, this advice should usually always apply if you are a is not who of you to give love shout outs to other males while on national TV, president or not.

Okay then......thank you America for listening, as much as I think Michael is an all right guy he had no business being here at this stage of the game..... So I wasn't that distraught with the decision. However, I was extremely surprised that Megan coasted through unscathed. Shows you I am not the only one that enjoys watching her and having an occasional Callie/Grey's Anatomy moment. Also surprising last night was Matt, now being from his home state I would like to make a call to ARMS to all Michiganders to step it up and vote for this man, butterscotch chip or not he deserves to stick around a bit longer. Scott bottom three - yes I agree, but truly were they really going to send him home the night Stevie Wonder is performing, I am not much of the warm fuzzy gal, but that would just be cruel.

Rubie the Cubie.......ahhh it's been a LONG ass time, my wad of sweat. Do you think Clive Davis and Simon Cowell had a total show down where Clive was like "You will have him on the show and we WILL revive his sad sad career since winning the show, I don't care if no one remembers who he is" Dude this guy should have never won and all I could do was picture poor little Clay Aiken in his Sir Lancelot outfit from his Broadway show sitting on the couch watching Rubie, stroking his newborns head he had with his 60 year old manager, snuggling with his gay lover, crying hysterically and shouting "It should have been me!" (paints quite the picture don't it!) Ruben - he isn't bad but the sweating.....I can't take how it just pours down as if he was standing under Niagra you think he is related to Whitney Houston, another sweaty mo fo mess. All I am saying is that if you break out in a full on sweat from lifting the microphone from your hip to your mouth you might want to consider introducing your body to a little Jane Fonda video.......

Joss Stone and Smokey - Now I know I am not one with my inner "soul" and don't necessarily feel the groove often, but why did Joss look like she was convulsing in pain or on the verge of an orgasm for the entire song? I was afraid she just might hop up "on top of ol' smokey" (all covered with cheese) and go to town on him, and Smokey was singing so frailly that I thought he might break all together if Joss' hair accidentally whipped him in the abdomen.

Then I was quite confused because if it weren't for the braids I would have thought they sent Rubie back onto the stage, but low and behold it was one supersized Stevie Wonder! YIKES! He is always entertaining and his songs are timeless, a true pro. I was surprised that they didn't pan to Scott often during his performance - I felt like the producers and editors really missed an "ah ha" moment there...... Lastly I will not single out Kara for being the only one that was COMPLETELY over dramatically dancing to Stevie's medley, yep that is right Danny and Anoop I would like to call you out too, It is Stevie Wonder not Metallica and he is singing "Superstitious" not "Enter Sandman" I am just saying.......

Until next week folks.....

Munson out!

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Motown & "D" town........

Okay first things first Hittsville USA – Don’t promote it as if they are walking through the Louvre in Paris. I am just saying I have been on the Hittsville tour and not to downplay the amazing stories that came from there, but let’s be honest it is a total DUMP. I mean it is in the middle of projects and you feel like you will get a cap in your ass at a moments notice – I can just see these poor kids minds spinning “take me back to my mansion in Hollywood ASAP! I am afraid very afraid!” I would also like to share that my very own hubbie was a honorary temptation on our tour as I shoved him out onto the recording studio floor the moment they requested volunteers (he he) I got to see him do “du-op” moves and sing my girl…….So all in all it was worth taking the chance that I might fall victim to a drive by shooting just to witness him having to do this in front of the tour group. I will also add it was kinda cool to witness the silver beaded MJ glove……..however it didn’t make me tear up as one lil rounds did – and you know why – I will tell you why I knew I was heading back to my calculator to play with numbers for the rest of my life and not fulfill any dreams out on that stage like she will…….okay ENOUGH of my own personal sob story …..Onto bigger and better things……

Let’s spend some time on Smokey…..all I am saying why does he feel like it is appropriate to be possibly in his 60’s (?) and dress like Tony Hawk heading for the half pipe? The skater shirt, the hoodie, the vans… it was a bit age inappropriate. Also inappropriate was my thought that if you added a little MORE eyeliner and add a wig he would make a great woman…….I found myself analyzing his very female facial features…anyone? Anyone?

The Judges….
Paula – when did it become okay to come dressed up as Jon Benet’ Ramsey? I thought it was a bit tasteless. I think she is watching too much tiaras and toddlers on TLC, and now I am a bit tasteless for even knowing that show exists. And for the love of the disco ball on her ring – I will place bets that that thing opens up and a little known white powder is hiding in there…..just a hunch.
Kara – Just when I wanted to hug her and squeeze the snot out of her for finally coming out of her shell and saying some really “worthwhile” comments last night (I will give props when due) I mean I really thought she should be applauded for finally saying something decent but then she spit out “Give me some rhythm Scott, YO!” and waving her best sha-nay-nay finger – then I immediately remembered why I have not applauded her before. Is she sitting too close to Randy? I think it is effecting her IQ.
Simon – I really enjoy how he torments Paula into answering questions how he wants them answered and how much it flusters her……
Randy – dude, dawg, really I have run out of comments for this one hit wonder.

Okay so finally the contestants……IT’S RAINING MEN HALLELUEH…..IT’S RAINING MEN…… I guess with Alexis gone I didn’t realize how few girls there are……

Matt – I feel like there is an awful big push for the cardigan this year….I don’t hate it, but I don’t love it…….Matt sang Let’s get it on…….and yes he did sing it very well, but I would just like to put out a newsflash to Paula that he wasn’t ACTUALLY singing it to you or about you……she looked way too excited, didn’t she learn anything from her tryst with the curly hair fella from a few seasons ago – it’s not who of you to sleep with the contestants…..some would think this is common sense, but not Paula….

Kris – Sang “How sweet it is….” All I have to say is how Sweet is you……am I alone here or is he the cutest thing since Jonathan Lipinski from Jerry McGuire? Let’s be honest he isn’t THAT amazing vocally, but hey neither is Britney Spears and all you guys want to keep her around for some eye candy, I don’t think the ladies should be ashamed to do so too……I was however intrigued to figure out the cryptic numbering system he had written all over his shoulders, I felt like Tom Hanks in the Divinci Code, must be the nerdy accountant in me.

Scott – oh thank GOD he made mention of it – I was thinking are we really going to go through this whole thing and not point out that he is wearing pink pants and a paisley pastel shirt? Poor thing that he didn’t find out until 10 minutes prior – I literally did a calendar check to see if it was April fools day….it wasn’t it was just a poor little man dressed in KEN clothes and I felt really bad for him, on top of that he sounded like S*** so then I felt even worse….I hate to say it Scott I believe it is nearing the end of the road for you…….You are truly an inspiration but you must pack your bags…….

Megan – Umm wait Scott don’t pack your bags just yet………Remember when I said I was still on the fence about if I liked her jazzy routine or not – well guess what I was literally pushed OVER the fence last night and will officially say I am over it. However I will say I would switch hitters for just a short period of time for her…….She is one hot babe and I am not afraid to say it!

Anoop – he is coming into his own and I am happy for him. What I am not so elated with is his one dance move – it goes like this – open palm to the heart and then out to a bent side elbow wave……he seems to love it, in fact he loved it so much that he did it Yup, 11 times last night, that is right I rewound and counted. He is definitely better at the slower songs but I find my self missing “My prerogative”

Michael – sang “Ain’t too proud to beg” America I am “begging” please send this turd home. He is not good and for him not to even be in the bottom three is absurd……I don’t like his voice, his dance moves are spastic and I feel like the stage might crack every time those football thunder thighs assist with some leg stomping… frightens me.

Lil - I will have to agree song sounded very rushed and fast…….but I will have to compliment her on her AWESOME dress – I tried to figure out where and when could I wear that and then answered – nowhere with a big deep sigh……would it be appropriate at McDaniels? No worries here…… she will remain….

Adam – WOW the hairdo really threw me for a loop….why did he randomly morph into a mix of Corey Feldman and Lou Diamond Phillips? I enjoyed the clean cut I can actually see both of your eyes look, however the double earrings, the pocket scarf, the 10 lbs of Grecian formula, shiny suit – it was a bit much for me – back to HOT TOPIC you must go my friend…….oh yeah this is a singing competition – he also sang well.

Danny – We all know he is good and a front runner and I secretly enjoy that the boys are stepping up their games to give this guy a run for his money, since they were building it up as if he were going to walk away with the trophy after the first audition – So last night I found myself not so into the song, but more concerned about where in the world is Jamal? Did he leave his BFF in his Hollywood dust? This concerns me.

Allison – Super great – she will give Lil a run for her money and I think I was half asleep at this point and having nothing further. I will have to say I would like the hair people to change up the pink/red do – I think it might really change up her game……

Bottom Three Michael/Megan/Scott – with Megan going home.

Munson out……..

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Fire up the Tour Bus........

First – what the eff is going on with my site? Not sure what all the gobblie gook is at the top – any support from you techies out there (Darrell and Sarah) would be appreciated. Never mind looks like yours truely fixed it - look at the accountant out IT departments~~

Well, well, well America you sure threw me for a loop and surprised me last night – I can kind of see your point – she isn’t going to go home with the trophy, but I still enjoyed her and thought she had the voice to carry on……but bygones….. the munchinchi has left the building….Did you get a load of the straight up “pissed off” face she gave when they told them Adam was safe. She morphed from this sweet little smurfette to a nasty, lip biting, get the claws out chick, she tried to hide it with the whole “it’s been an amazing opportunity” but I shutter at the real thought that were spewing in that little noggin of hers…….And what is with the football huddle the judges got into while she was literally singing for her life? I think I caught Paula licking Simon’s ear……it was super sophomoric and I felt bad for Alexis……So Michael, people really love this blue collared son of a B…….I am not on board but so be it……..and enough of the sob stories about your little girl giving you the guilt trip, three and a half years old or not I would be like…. “listen don’t get lippy with me I am away so you can have a pony and a clown at every one of your effing birthdays from here on out. Simma down and go watch Dora and forget about me…… just forget about me…….”

So not overly impressed with last night – I am happy to bid a fine farewell to country night…….. Here are some things I pondered while watching…..

Why did Randy think he was the Skipper last night and wear a straight up ascot?
Why did Kara have a librarian bun the size of a tire?
Why did Paula look normal last night with a hair do that I enjoyed – she threw me for a loop and frightened me that I might not be able to pick on her, oh but contraire, she opened her mouth and all was good.
Allison –is she a perfect candidate for “what not to wear” not flattering AT ALL.
Does Allison look like Kelly Clarkson?
What size curling iron rod do you think Randy Travis uses on his bangs?
Was Carrie Underwood wearing a wig?
Why does Megan have hair that every man, woman and child desires and then decide to crimp it from midline down?
Why did Carrie Underwood head into Michaels Arts and Crafts and grab the one black silk flower arrangement that was left on the clearance isle and then stick it up on top of her head as a hair accessory?
How old is Brad Paisley, and why at this juncture in his life can he not grow anything beyond a 13 year olds sparse facial hair?

Okay and to finally put the country theme to rest I would like to address one final issue…….The Cowboy Hat…….Now I admit I have fallen to it’s prey at a Bon Jovi concert now and again……but really what is the point of this? I understand in the wild wild west when they were out ranching cattle, they would be protecting themselves from the sun, rain and other outdoor elements…….but really what sort of protection does this lend to a guy at the Kodak theatre where it is fully equipped with a state of the art HVAC system? Is this the new Propectia (sp?)? A way to reduce the signs of aging? Is this a way to ward off the embarrassment of the lyrics you are singing by avoiding eye contact with your audience? Or let’s be honest it is just another way to say Yee Haw….mf’ers I am on stage and you aren’t – here is a backstage pass and we will see what we can work out……

Munson out……

Wednesday, March 18, 2009


Sweet, two hours of whiny lyrics, toe tapping beats, songs about drinking bud, roping horses, and pick up trucks…..Let me grab my gear because I truly have to pull one up from the boot straps to try and enjoy this. Now I am not judging those folks that enjoy a little country twang, who am I kidding, yes I am ….that is pretty much what I do and the premise of this blog. I don’t get it, not one bit – I think the music is boring and I seriously recognized ONE song from 11 last night – even with current artists like Carrie I was like what Jesus is driving now? What? So to make a long complaint short I hated every second of it, I am not saying country hasn’t done wonders for a lot of people but I can’t relate and was a bit bored last night.

First Randy Travis…..Why is his shaped like an alien? It is triangular in form and his deep sunken eyes – he was a bit creepy to look at and I had to put my sunglasses on half way through because my pupils couldn’t dilate anymore from looking at his over “whiten” teeth. So 22 number one hits eh? Can’t say I know one of them………

Ahhhhh Paula – did she forget she was 4 ft 1 inch? Summer Hawaiian dresses are not supposed to have trains on them and did anyone notice that her melons were seriously “resting” on the table all night – it as if she was using them as a kickstand to keep her drunk head a float…..uncalled for! And what is with the random hole in her chest? It is as if Tiger Woods took a swing and forgot to replace his divot……she is an odd one……

Ryan for the love of cancer ……let’s get your soon to be leather patch face out of the sun!

Randy Jackson – wondering if his contract allows him to say more than two words at a time? Cuz all I heard was…..
That’s hot
That’s current
That’s now
Tender dawg
Da Bomb
Brung it.

Now this is has nothing to do with AI but I am in the mood to Bitch – what is with the hellaious Old Navy commercials?? I know we all DVR this and FF through the commercials, but I even get annoyed watching it at four times faster….anyone? or is it just me?

Okay back on track….

Michael – I felt like this was the poor mans rap. There were so many words jammed into a 3 minute time frame after a while it felt like he was singing supercalafragilistic exbealedosious………It was annoying and seriously the only words I understood were pick up truck and that is only because it is a requirement in any country song.

Allison – AHH the love songs these crazy country folk come up with
Double dealing
Two timing
They really have a way with words…..its riveting and breathtaking all at the same time. We all know she has the “pipes” (Using Randy Travis’ overstated phrase) and will be around for a while.

Kris – HORRIBLE HORRIBLE song – are they making these up?? But who the F cares YUMMY YUMMY YUMMY! I enjoyed the many close-ups but felt threatened by Randy and Simon tagging him as the tender puppy…..leave the pet names to me and step off my territory with my “hottie” I am just saying…….

Lil Rounds – First of all the hilarity of Simon not knowing the difference between Lil and Little was classic – but in his defense it is a bit of an absurd name and bordering on obnoxious. I was happy to see the Rhianna bangs go away although it made her look 20 years older, I only wish Rhianna would follow suit just so we could see what Chris really did to her!! Anywho…..I know her gig isn’t country, and neither is mine, but I am pretty sure country folks don’t wear red strapless gowns and diamond necklaces…….

Adam – The close ups are killing me – can you say PROACTIV? There are more pot holes on that face than 1-94, and I am not faulting him for that – it’s the 20 lbs of make up that is used to fill the gaps that is gross and creepy! Lay off the foundation! We have all had blemishes – stand proud…. we can all relate! Okay the song – I am not a fan of the original – but goodness the injustice he did to Mr. Cash was unheard of – I mean literally he deserves to be “thrown” into a ring of fire for what he sang last night. Too many people like him, so I don’t think he will go home however he will be thrown in the bottom three in order to boost ratings…

Scott – Thank you surfer boy, thank you for listening……I definitely noticed some product and some flattening going on, thanks for helping a brother out. He was okay nothing fantastic. But what is with Paula telling him to loose the piano? That is like telling Amy Weinhouse to leave the crack at home, that is like telling Lance Armstrong he needs two balls to compete in the tour de France…..That is like telling Paula to wear a t-shirt and jeans…..its absurd and mean and I hated her for saying it……The fact that she actually suggested that he needs to work on his showmanship on stage….Yes Paula he will get right on that and work on his Thriller routine…..I am so sure!

Alexis – What’s with all the prom dresses with the country theme? I was waiting to see some skin tight jeans, some cowboy boots, belt buckles, hats, and spurs…….but nada just some sparkly numbers that didn’t correlate for me…..She was okay last night, and I am glad she is setting a fine example for her child “If I come back next week I promise to bring DIRTY” daughter is beaming with pride I just know it.

Danny – Who does he think he is P-Diddy in the every breath you take video – the white jacket was absurd – I enjoyed his understated non colored glasses this week – he sounded good, but again what is Jesus doing driving…..these songs, really people listen to these?

Anoop – Bow Wow Wow Yippie Yo Yippie Yah…….The noop dawg is back in the house…..This is the one song I did recognize and I thought he did it justice and I am glad he left the “hip hop” per say at home – he does have a good voice when he simmers down a bit. I think he just bought himself another week and Jorge you might want to post a want ad for a roomie at the local market – I am not sure Anoop will be joining you yet!

Megan – Ummm holy melons batman! Where the heck did those things come from? My hubbie is going to be so sad he missed last night……..My verdict is still not out on this minnie Ella Fitzgerald, I feel like she “talks” the song more than she “sings” and I feel like it should be getting old and annoying, but find myself still liking it…….this is a tuff one.

Matt – He is good – he is coming into his own, because the first week I would have sent him packing…. I am glad he is focusing up…..however; does anyone else want to pick that butterscotch chip off his forehead? I do…..

So I would say bottom three Megan, Adam, Michael – with Michael going home.

Munson out.

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Buh Bye for J & J.....

Last week I was dialing my cardiologist – last night I immediately had to call my primary care and request an immediate prescription to xanax or valium anything to curb my anxiety I get every time I watch what poor Scott has to endure. Who knew watching AI would cause so many medical emergencies! I am sure Scott is suggesting no special treatment, and I am not sure if it is the mutha’ in me but I just want to cradle him and protect him through every uncomfortable moment. I just feel like he has to work 369% harder than everyone else.
#1 I bet that “mansion” is a total party for Scott to get around in. “ummm why am I all wet – oh I must have just stepped into the pool”
#2 The group performance – he was so energetic and happy to be dancing about – can you fault him for being a half step behind all the time – I practically bit everyone of my acrylic nails off and starting talking him through it in a small whisper voice “come on Scott look to your left with everyone else” “come on turn to the right – you got it you got it” “come on, help him… someone help him get even with the line” then I starting thanking the munchini out loud for assisting him all night.
#3 the ford commercial I am glad there wasn’t so much “driving” per say……
#4 the missed congratulatory and high fives when people were deemed “safe” I felt like he couldn’t manage to get to them or to the high fives fast enough.
Ugh the stress of it all…I am immediately driving to Walgreens to pick up my RX…. Do you think Stevie Wonder or Ray Charles had to go through all these shenanigans, group performances, dance routines…..Push though Scott we are all rooting for you!

Okay so the BIG twist…….AKA the immunity idol from survivor. – Nothing original there…..I wasn’t blown outta da box by that one!

Jasmine – only if she could have shown that much emotion in her songs, that she did last night as she was waving goodbye she might have been a there a bit longer – Your pretty face will be missed but it was the right decision.

Jorge – Did I not call it or what I told you Anoop would send you back to your grass hut, what I failed to mention was that I am afraid he will be following you next week and then the two of you will become life long roommates.

Kayne – I am not a huge follower per say, I really don’t even know what his music is….but apparently the word around the rumor mill is that he thinks he is God and has a bit of a cocky attitude. Where does this guy get off – he has not one leg to stand on
First and foremost he sounds like S*** - his digitally enhanced voice sounds better than his real one (much like another hot mess Britney Spears)
He decides that the Mexican Tuxedo would be the right choice of outfits to grace America with.
I think more talented than his ability to sing is his ability to not have his pants fall off and remain right in the midline of his ass – how do they not fall off? I have never understood this concept – I don’t know why it is cool and I don’t understand the comfort level with it either. Do they use Duck tape? Do they have to squeeze and expand to make it stay there the whole time? I need answers people.

Kelly – It makes me proud that I voted for her season one…… (yup I will admit and this was prior to texting, well it might not have been but prior to me understanding what the hell texting was. So yes I would call back a zillion times until I got through) She has a great voice and has definitely made a name for herself. I am just not sure these past eight years have done her justice – it seems to me she is spending a little too much time in the green room and with craft services. I am just saying it sort of looked like she was storing nuts for the winter months in those cheeks…….but I continued to sing along as I was shoving my cheeks with some naughty brownie creation that hubbie made…… so Touché’

Munson out.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

King of Pop!

Yes, Yes and YES…..Bring on the moonwalk, the silver glove, the red and black leather jacket, the spiral perm, the white socks, the light up sidewalk, the monster mash, bring it ALL on – I welcomed the theme last night – MJ as weird as he has turned out is one of my down right favorites of all time and if I had it in me I would buy that plane ticket to get myself over to England to witness the last few layers of skin fall off of his nose in concert!

Last night left me asking a lot of questions – so I guess I will just ask you to see if you can enlighten me in any way shape or form?
What is with the Cat walk intro for the Judges?
Why does Paula have trouble putting one foot in front of the other?
Why did Randy refuse to hold Kara’s hand?
Why is Paula trying to be Bjork?
Why is it when Kara talks she must jet her neck forward almost like a chicken pecking for some grain? (watch for it)
Why hasn’t the glam squad focused on Paula’s makeup yet?
Why does Kara talk to everyone as if we are all in preschool sitting down for circle time (it is very slow and over enunciated!)?
Why does Paula wear a diamond encrusted key chain on her wrist?
And why why oh why….Does Simon do a deep sigh every time someone starts “booing” like he is soo annoyed when in actuality he is smirking and getting a boner as his eyes roll back into the sockets of his eyes? (I am not kidding watch every time!)
Why was Paula on the verge of tears every time she opened up her mouth?
Why does Randy like to drop names more than me?
Why has Justin Guarini have nothing better to do than have his head float behind Simon all night – oh yeah I know because he made a ridiculous movie from Justin to Kelly and ended his career.

Like I said a lot of questions, not so many answers….

Lil Rounds – We all know she is good – my beef with last night is that she sang “Ain’t nobody’s “bid-ness” Ain’t nobody’s “bid-ness” but my own” Okay I am not trying to get on my high horse but come on – don’t do it – I don’t think MJ’s intentions were to promote this mockery – You didn’t hear him sing “Annie let me AX if your okay”, “PYT pretty young “Thang’”, “I’ll be “up in Thar” for you” I am just saying Please Please leave the Ebonics at home.

Scott – Umm so happy with the stationary position last night. He actually sounded better to me last night – so I wasn’t so mad at his voice. However I was a bit angry at his brother. How dare he flaunt his GQ perfect surfer haircut and then allow his brother to grace the stages with his Simon/Garfunkel poof ball hairdo. Throw your poor brother a bone, he doesn’t know it needs help, get him some product, a trim, help a brother out!

Danny – Seriously with the Sally Jesse goggles again last night? Over it – get some Lazik or some contacts ASAP. Besides the trademark snorkel gear on his face he was downright great last night – I love his voice and he is a crowd pleaser. I felt like he was on the verge of wiping out last night with those flailing drummer arms, feet shuffling, hip bucking, he is a bit spastic and needs help but Paula don’t just raise your arm as if you can help him throw together a cold hearted snake video – your washed up get over yourself.

Michael – he sang you are not alone, but secretly I hope you are alone, back on your oil rig…it’s not like he sucks –but there is just something I don’t like about him, perhaps because he interfered with my first true love Norman. And I am not sure if he is ready to bring his family into this Hollywood jungle – I mean him mom wore a straight up tiara headband when being interviewed for national TV – bless her oil riggin heart.

Jasmine - She is so stinking cute has a good voice – but she is so BLAH…I know she is young, innocent and naive, but please someone slip her a rueffe or put some grey goose in her juice box she needs to liven it up or I’m afraid she will be packing her bags.

Kris – first things first – Mr. Calcatera – ABORT ABORT get Kris out of your bottom three – I now love him. Sorry one of our own asked me for some advice on his AI fantasy league (yup it’s not just me who is insane!) and I threw Kris under the bus and told him he would be bottom three…..what was I thinking – all I have to say is move over Mr. Effron now there is something scrawnier but somewhat more delicious……. He is so cute and likeable – even though he shouted the last 1/3 of the song I still wanted to love him. He has got that smile to hook the folks in. (apparently worked for me) My only beef is that during his promo story they showed him and his new bride making spaghetti as if they were Emeril and Paula Deen simmer down it’s just spaghetti.

Alison – Wow she is a our regular Dora the Explorer – had no idea she was Latino….I mean who would know when both her mom and her nana are sitting there as blonde haired fair skinned folks in the audience…..ahh this world is such a melting pot! And really her big homecoming concert that they taped was at Art Van furniture? Really???
She is awesome as long as she is SINGING…..but sista’ shut the flappers and just try and smile during the interview process – she is a terrible speaker – I am not sure if it is nerves but perhaps Ryan could have her sing her answers from now on – that would be helpful.

Anoop – (reenactment) “This is my favorite Michael Jackson song, it is called “my prerogative””……haha we were so waiting for it. So I have to say the appeal is slowly wearing off – I mean he has energy and he is fun but the vocals just aren’t as great as they were thought to be. It pains me to say, but come on we are getting to the nasty here and I have to “keep it real” I was also wondering if he was expecting a large gust of wind or a chance of showers during his performance – he must have – why else would he have come prepared in a straight up windbreaker over his shirt and tie?

Jorge - The judges were a bit harsh on him last night – I thought he actually sounded good and didn’t know why I differed from all four judges last night….hmmmmmmm perhaps because it was almost 11 o’clock and my eyes were half slits? Could be.

Megan – I can’t get ahold if I love her or hate her yet – her voice is different which I like, but is it annoying? My verdict isn’t out yet. What was with the random “CAW CAW” bird call at the end of Rockin Robin – Uncalled for.

Adam – This is another one were my vote sways a bit every time I watch him. Let’s face it his voice is borderline migraine inducing, but somehow it takes me back to a time of glory when I was holding up that lighter to “she’s a little runaway” or the for the countless moments that I would sing in my mirror with my Kip winger poster hanging in the background cheering me on – I mean the 80’s were great for a reason and for that reason I just don’t want to see it end – and once more he does seem like a natural “on stage”

Matt – Is his mom black? Who would have thunk it? I felt like he was good but there were more shadoobies and yah ahh yahh yahhs going on than actual lyrics. I think he will be around for a bit.

Alexis – I enjoy that she is really putting in the time to teach her kid the important things in life “seacrest out” F the alphabet and the 1, 2,3’s lets fast forward to what counts!! NICE. I think she is great – she did Dirty D. Justice last night and I am so glad this single mommy can cut costs my sharing clothes with her daughter – seriously she is so TINY…..I still am singing “oh so soft and cuddlily!” So anywho no big surprises she will stick around for the long haul.

WOW – and breathe.

So If I had my way I would say Michael and Jorge but I think it will go Michael and Jasmine.

Munson out.

Friday, March 6, 2009

Final 3....I mean 4 Wildcards.....

Dear Comcast,
I would like to introduce you to my cardiologist. You see I had to immediately consult with him last night as I was watching the suspenseful wildcard night of AI and my heart starting skipping beats and I was experiencing large palpitations at an alarming rate, beads of sweat were rolling down my face as I realized your DVR system cut off prior to the end of the show and I had no clue who was the last to get voted into the top 12. You are lucky we have other medias available to us at this day and age and people were readily available via a phone call and a click on the Internet to fill me in. So please, please please when I ask you to "tape" AI please tape it in its entirety.
A recovering heart patient.

Okay so you know my beef I didn't get to experience the thrill and excitement that the last 3 minutes had to present itself, instead it was a "wah wah wah" moment as I found out they advanced not one, but two people to make it a final 13.

So I will hold off on my trip to Vegas, I was close, but close doesn't count when you are dealing with real $$. Anywho, Happy with all people that advanced. I was also glad that Simon admitted he liked having his hands in the molding of the final "team" if you will and how he admitted personality and likability (i.e. if your hot "Megan") will get you far even if you don't have an incredible voice. We have all known it but it was nice to verbally hear the confirmation.

Matt G. - He stepped it up last night - I was happy with it. What I was unhappy with was his overly bulky "scarf/wrap" around his neck. Was he trying to cover up an enormous hickey? Do people even have hickeys anymore? and who even says hickey? - I am down right embarrassed of myself for typing it.

Megan - again she is a looker -very cute and unusual, however not a natural on stage - I know they chalked up the dancing to her quirky nature, but I am going out on a limb to say it was straight uncomfortableness and ignorance about what to do with all her extremities as she sang....I hope this changes in the future. Simon and Chris will both agree - she needs to advance regardless of vocals just for the sheer fact that her face will be staring back at them for another week. Chris made a good comparison - she has a twinge of Jessica Simpson in her....take a look.

Jasmine - She is good - I have liked her from the beginning - But didn't they ask her to sing something more current? She still seems so reserved to me, now I am not saying come out looking and sounding like a total whore like Jesse did last night, but a little edge would be nice.

ANoop.....OK I have been pulling for this Mumbai underdog the whole time, but I will have to say enough with the Bobby Brown, is that the only CD readily available in the slums and that is all he has to work with? If that is the case I will support him - but someone buy this poor fella an IPOD and get him up to speed and current! I don't think I can go through the next 13 weeks reminiscing with Bel Biv Devoe, and New Eddition! Again I didn't realize he went through but my heart grew a bit when I heard the news..... Jai Ho!

Other notables
Jesse - already mentioned thought she sounded and acted like a whore last night. Good Riddens
Von - Just annoying - he is a cute guy but for some reason I don't want to like him - guess I don't have to now.
Ricky - I hope you didn't advance strictly based up on the fact that you wore skinny jeans when you aren't lets just say "skinny" again another nice comparison by one CM, he looked like Billy Joel in uptown girl video - let this be known there are really only two people who can get away with skinny jeans and that is Pete Wentz and Rhianna, let's leave this to the professionals.
Tatiana -Thank you for all remaining calm, during such a stressful time. I want to congratulate you on your focus and your commitment to having faith in "the system". So yes buh bye my little Prozac child......I am done with your accent, your tears, your whispery, whiny voice, your laugh, and your dream of singing. However, as a light at the end of a dark tunnel - I am truly happy that you were able to reconnect with your birth twin, Paula Abdul. I hope you guys can spend some time, reconnect and try to decode each others retarded sentences.

So I will have to say I wasn't prepared for a singing competition last night, but Kudos to the producers for moving it along QUICKLY and for the love mankind thank you for having the competition and the vote off in one night! I know I speak for millions when I say "It is much appreciated!"

Just because I feel a bit naked unless I make fun of at least one judge - So did Paula look like Pebbles from the Flintstones last night and did you notice that her neon bedazzled scarf was in a different position every frame? How innovative and bizarre all at the same time!?

Okay folks we have our top 13 - let the fun begin.

Munson out.

Thursday, March 5, 2009

Next three, Wildcards, and Tatiana....Oh my!

I should seriously head to Vegas! Have to toot my own horn a bit, not that I even necessarily agree with all my picks but so be it. So here we have it…..

Lil’ Rounds – sort of anticlimactic for me – I mean it was sort of a given. I like her attitude and her enthusiasm however, I did not enjoy the “cinching” that was going on with her empire waisted belt. I felt like she was creating a muffin top and bottom if you will – things were spilling out all over the top and falling out all over the bottom – it just made me so thankful for my elastic waist sweats that I was laying in!

Jorge – Are we going to have to put up with this “oh my gosh I just can’t believe this is happening to me” all season(flashbacks to one annoying David Archuletta) – I mean sure I am happy for the guy he has no idea what is about to embark on him…. but there is a little known thing here in AMERICA it is called entitlement! Learn it, know it, and love it.

Scott – Yes I too, want to mimic his brother and pump my fist up in the air and stream tears of pride down my face at this great under “dawg” story, but after I heard him sing I really felt torn, he isn’t fabulous, and I hope that it doesn’t turn on him, or people vote him though and give him false hope. Because truly Kendall can sing him under the table, but she has sight on her side and that for once, is working against her. Side note – do you think Scott uses a diffuser?

So the group performance……I was stressed out all day long at how this was going to play out, I thought is Scott’s brother going to have to lead him through his side step ponies and jazz hands. Then I saw the guys all sitting and I seriously wiped a bead of sweat from my brow……but then I was laughing out loud at the other guys trying to really “bust out” some shoulder shrugs while sitting, it looked uncomfortable and hard and, so I will admit I tried it, sitting there all by my lonesome, and it was hard, but perhaps it was the plate of cookies sitting on my lap that made it hard to balance….. So this is what worries me in the future….the ford commercials. Should a blind man really get behind the wheel of a car to promote it? Will he always have to be the passenger? – There are definitely some moral and ethical issues that Simon must really consider J These my friends are the things that keep me up at night.

Okay so the WildCards……I enjoy how the judges had a say in it and furthermore I am glad we didn’t have to listen to these 27 forgettables again! Thank you AI for making this move forward in a timely fashion. So I couldn’t get to my recap last night for the fury of phone calls that came my way as soon as Tatiana was announced, including one male (I will not mention names Matt C.) that was so worked up and profoundly denounced that he would no longer watch AI – I told him to get ahold of his pink taco apply some vagisil and pull it together and stop talking crazy talk. We will all be okay and we will get through this is. We all just need to pull together and support each other. We will put up with the hyperventilating, the nauseating laugh, the unsupportive clothing, to support the larger cause here. This is just a blip in the road and no reason to get our texting phalanges in a “twitter” if you will…….Everyone Calm the F down, Yes we are on a heightened alert, but I assure you in the great words of one confused Mr. President we “must stay the course!”

So our wildcards are….
Von – over him
Jasmine – something about her makes me smile?
Ricky B. – whateve.
Megan – forgot about, but pleased with the pick.
Tatiana – see above.
Matt – Fight on fight on for Western…….I will spare you the entire fight song – but GO KZOO!
Jesse – a bit surprised, but she might be interesting.
ANOOOOOP – is in the house! All I have to say is watch your back Jorge, this slumdog is going to send you back to your sad little grass hut!

So goodbye with the ridiculousness of Nathanial & Norman – NO SOUP FOR YOU! On a side note does anyone get the sense that Nathanial doesn’t have a clue about all the side jokes/swipes the judges are saying to/and about him – he is in his own little world that one is…….
I felt a bit bad for Kendall I felt like she was internally thinking….ummm did you guys forget that I have big boobs and I am a totally blonde cutie ……I was waiting for her to stand up and ask for a re-count! Oh well……..

So my EARLY predictions would be
Jasmine/Jesse not sure here….. It’s still early folks….

So Did I hear it right? AI is on tonight?? They can’t possibly be singing already – I mean they just found out they are “in” so this leads me to believe that it is some sort of interview/update show that puts me in a quandary, I mean I will not falter on my commitment, but lets be honest the office and 30 rock or looking at Kara’s dumbo like ears it might be a toss up…..oh thank Jesus for DVR…..

Oh and before I forget because name dropping is my game – one of our own spent some time last weekend with a former American Idol…..Gina Glocksen – she was from my home town – so I remember her fondly she is the one in the middle (cuz you are only allowed to do cool hand gestures like that if you have been on AI) ENJOY!

Munson out…………………….

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

And this will make 9!

Okay what the EFF is going on?? I only recognized two peeps from last night – and for good reason, they were not that good! I mean really was this last group just a melting pot of leftovers? I feel like it was a sad and very uninteresting night – not good for a show that ratings are decreasing rapidly…… I am not sure the talent pool is very deep this season, I remember genuinely being sad for someone being voted off last season and seriously if they didn’t vote anyone in from last night I would be okay with it – screw it let’s just have 6 wild cards……it would make it more interesting! I found it very hard to focus on any of their songs since they were not WOW’ing me at all, so in true Munson out fashion I will continue to comment on their clothes, ridiculous family members, and awkward body movements….

A few items on the judges – does Simon after 8 years still not know how to pronounce Paula? It always comes out as “Pawler” and it bugs me…. And this is the second week in a row that I have pondered this one – Does Randy actually have lenses in his frames? I secretly think he is just wearing frames – take a looksey and lend me your thoughts….

Von Smith – So who do we have to blame here, Usher? Justin Timberlake? Kayne West? I am not sure who is inspiring the sneakers with the full blown business suit but make it go away! You can’t just wear a straight up business suit and throw on some velour addidas kicks and call it casual teen idol wear. Celebrities need to stop steering these impressionable teens to their ridiculous trends. Like I said totally bored with the performance, he is a cute guy but again not “blowing me out da box” I truly hope Von could advance just for the small chance he could make it and use some of that cash for some much needed dental work for his girlfriend/sister. YIKES!

Taylor – What a cute girl, but really that is about it I spent the whole performance wondering where her leather boots ended and her pleather pants started – I couldn’t focus on the song it wasn’t pulling me in – instead I was looking at the large assortment of string friendship bracelets she was wearing and reminiscing on how gross and disgusting mine were back in the day – why did we think it was okay to wear them 24/7 and think a dip in the swimming pool or a quick shower made it okay not to take off - like they were instantly clean and didn’t harvest pieces of dried up sun burnt skin from spring break?

Alex – I enjoy that he put him self out there as the big dork, I enjoyed his sarcasm and his dry humor – I was all on board to take this little chicken under my wing and promote Alex to advance, but then it all fell apart…….The dream ended when this little chicken little opened his mouth and tried to sing… did he get to Hollywood? It sounded like he was in a constant cough/clearing phlegm cycle – ugh the growling like a poor little lost cub looking for his mutha in the jungle….It was horrific!

Arianna – So they thought she sucked, I didn’t mind it so much she sang the ABBA song and all I could think of was Meryl Steep staring off at Pierce Brosnon on the side of a cliff in Mamma Mia and thought how I would have much preferred to listen to Arianna sing this any day than have to re-live Pierce Brosnon singing EVER again. But I am a sucker for a musical! And I will have to agree she is cute as a button!

Ju’Not – So I think he sounded really good – a breath of fresh air if you will following the four previous acts….but then why, why oh why do I have to pan down and say “oh no JU did ‘NOT” just have a handcuff hanging from your belt loop. Why do we always have to “represent” “prove our bad assness” I mean you are up there singing Dehlila for Pete’s sake. Voice good but I will have to decline based upon the above premise.

Kristin – So glad the purple hair is gone – I feel like this girl is off in never never land half the time – she has a great voice and an extraordinarily large mouth that she wasn’t’ afraid to work the microphone over last night – I was like simma down now……..this is a family show…. Not a fan of the good ship lollipop dress and bless her heart for admitting she has no style sense, I too was the one with the large bow in my hair and on my ass…..unfortunate but true!

Nathanial – oh boy. This guy is like Richard Simmons on crack (if that is even possible) and of course he did…..pick a meatloaf song to sing, it’s all so predictable. The head band the flailing arms, the grapevine aerobics move (thx Stacy), we get it. Truly he does have a good voice but it is camouflaged by all the incessant stereotypes – I mean we might as well bring in the Rainbow backdrop and start marching. I started hearing my own words as he sang…. I would do anything for love (I mean anything just name it)…..but I won’t do that (well I probably would, try me…..) I would do anything for love (oh you dropped the soap let me get it) but I won’t do that (don’t even think about asking me to take off my headband.)…….
I couldn’t decipher the Brush script font tattoo over his larynx – did anyone catch it?
I also loved that Ryan tried to make Simon wear the shimmery headband and then Simon just waves him matriarchal finger at him like – son you want to keep your cushy job? Then you best leave me alone.

Felicia – Looks like this cat is on her ninth life. This is the wildcard since they found out that other chick had a recording contract already. I enjoyed her bowl cut hair and contemplated cutting bangs her entire song, her husband could stand to have a bowl cut himself – again good but not blown away.

Scott – Did anyone hold their breath as soon as he got up from that stool? I couldn’t take my eyes off the distance between the toes of his shoes and the edge of the stage. It was nerve wracking for me – I can’t imagine what it was like for him. He was good – but he isn’t THAT great. It was Simon last night with the vision references “I didn’t see that in the beginning” “in a sea of forgettable people” but I liked that he called out Ryan for finally giving him a high five now that he was a stationary target – bless his blind little heart!

Kendall – What is with the dad and the alligator dance?? Those country folks really know how to turn that mutha out……she is good – I can see her looking at Carrie Underwood and going “uh that could be me” I am not sure I would take the “great dress” compliment from one Paula Abdul to heart – I would most likely be terrified – and did you see the stage mom’s Austin Powers jacket? Age inappropriate! I would put her in as a wildcard.

Jorge – Don’t let the “Jun” go down on me…he was good but the awkwardness of how he jetted his neck out in order to get the pronunciation out stressed me out a bit. As well it stressed this poor Puerto Rican out – he was like a manic robot at the end – spouting off phrases in Spanish at an alarming rate – hopefully he can calm the F down cuz he was good.

Lil rounds – come on I want some background checks done – is that really her name? She did really well and reminded me of Fantasia. I always thought the little rounds was funny to reference to her chest, but when the camera panned around to the backside and I caught a glimpse of that ghetto booty – BAM – holly cow how does she manage to carry that thing around with her? It’s as if it is a separate entity – Lil my ass……

Okay so my picks for this round would be
Lil Rounds

Munson out…….

Sunday, March 1, 2009

Just because.....

I swear I will leave it alone soon, I just felt like I needed to start out my week on a Happy note!