King of Pop!

Yes, Yes and YES…..Bring on the moonwalk, the silver glove, the red and black leather jacket, the spiral perm, the white socks, the light up sidewalk, the monster mash, bring it ALL on – I welcomed the theme last night – MJ as weird as he has turned out is one of my down right favorites of all time and if I had it in me I would buy that plane ticket to get myself over to England to witness the last few layers of skin fall off of his nose in concert!

Last night left me asking a lot of questions – so I guess I will just ask you to see if you can enlighten me in any way shape or form?
What is with the Cat walk intro for the Judges?
Why does Paula have trouble putting one foot in front of the other?
Why did Randy refuse to hold Kara’s hand?
Why is Paula trying to be Bjork?
Why is it when Kara talks she must jet her neck forward almost like a chicken pecking for some grain? (watch for it)
Why hasn’t the glam squad focused on Paula’s makeup yet?
Why does Kara talk to everyone as if we are all in preschool sitting down for circle time (it is very slow and over enunciated!)?
Why does Paula wear a diamond encrusted key chain on her wrist?
And why why oh why….Does Simon do a deep sigh every time someone starts “booing” like he is soo annoyed when in actuality he is smirking and getting a boner as his eyes roll back into the sockets of his eyes? (I am not kidding watch every time!)
Why was Paula on the verge of tears every time she opened up her mouth?
Why does Randy like to drop names more than me?
Why has Justin Guarini have nothing better to do than have his head float behind Simon all night – oh yeah I know because he made a ridiculous movie from Justin to Kelly and ended his career.

Like I said a lot of questions, not so many answers….



Lil Rounds – We all know she is good – my beef with last night is that she sang “Ain’t nobody’s “bid-ness” Ain’t nobody’s “bid-ness” but my own” Okay I am not trying to get on my high horse but come on – don’t do it – I don’t think MJ’s intentions were to promote this mockery – You didn’t hear him sing “Annie let me AX if your okay”, “PYT pretty young “Thang’”, “I’ll be “up in Thar” for you” I am just saying Please Please leave the Ebonics at home.

Scott – Umm so happy with the stationary position last night. He actually sounded better to me last night – so I wasn’t so mad at his voice. However I was a bit angry at his brother. How dare he flaunt his GQ perfect surfer haircut and then allow his brother to grace the stages with his Simon/Garfunkel poof ball hairdo. Throw your poor brother a bone, he doesn’t know it needs help, get him some product, a trim, help a brother out!

Danny – Seriously with the Sally Jesse goggles again last night? Over it – get some Lazik or some contacts ASAP. Besides the trademark snorkel gear on his face he was downright great last night – I love his voice and he is a crowd pleaser. I felt like he was on the verge of wiping out last night with those flailing drummer arms, feet shuffling, hip bucking, he is a bit spastic and needs help but Paula don’t just raise your arm as if you can help him throw together a cold hearted snake video – your washed up get over yourself.

Michael – he sang you are not alone, but secretly I hope you are alone, back on your oil rig…it’s not like he sucks –but there is just something I don’t like about him, perhaps because he interfered with my first true love Norman. And I am not sure if he is ready to bring his family into this Hollywood jungle – I mean him mom wore a straight up tiara headband when being interviewed for national TV – bless her oil riggin heart.

Jasmine - She is so stinking cute has a good voice – but she is so BLAH…I know she is young, innocent and naive, but please someone slip her a rueffe or put some grey goose in her juice box she needs to liven it up or I’m afraid she will be packing her bags.

Kris – first things first – Mr. Calcatera – ABORT ABORT get Kris out of your bottom three – I now love him. Sorry one of our own asked me for some advice on his AI fantasy league (yup it’s not just me who is insane!) and I threw Kris under the bus and told him he would be bottom three…..what was I thinking – all I have to say is move over Mr. Effron now there is something scrawnier but somewhat more delicious……. He is so cute and likeable – even though he shouted the last 1/3 of the song I still wanted to love him. He has got that smile to hook the folks in. (apparently worked for me) My only beef is that during his promo story they showed him and his new bride making spaghetti as if they were Emeril and Paula Deen simmer down it’s just spaghetti.

Alison – Wow she is a our regular Dora the Explorer – had no idea she was Latino….I mean who would know when both her mom and her nana are sitting there as blonde haired fair skinned folks in the audience…..ahh this world is such a melting pot! And really her big homecoming concert that they taped was at Art Van furniture? Really???
She is awesome as long as she is SINGING…..but sista’ shut the flappers and just try and smile during the interview process – she is a terrible speaker – I am not sure if it is nerves but perhaps Ryan could have her sing her answers from now on – that would be helpful.

Anoop – (reenactment) “This is my favorite Michael Jackson song, it is called “my prerogative””……haha we were so waiting for it. So I have to say the appeal is slowly wearing off – I mean he has energy and he is fun but the vocals just aren’t as great as they were thought to be. It pains me to say, but come on we are getting to the nasty here and I have to “keep it real” I was also wondering if he was expecting a large gust of wind or a chance of showers during his performance – he must have – why else would he have come prepared in a straight up windbreaker over his shirt and tie?

Jorge - The judges were a bit harsh on him last night – I thought he actually sounded good and didn’t know why I differed from all four judges last night….hmmmmmmm perhaps because it was almost 11 o’clock and my eyes were half slits? Could be.

Megan – I can’t get ahold if I love her or hate her yet – her voice is different which I like, but is it annoying? My verdict isn’t out yet. What was with the random “CAW CAW” bird call at the end of Rockin Robin – Uncalled for.

Adam – This is another one were my vote sways a bit every time I watch him. Let’s face it his voice is borderline migraine inducing, but somehow it takes me back to a time of glory when I was holding up that lighter to “she’s a little runaway” or the for the countless moments that I would sing in my mirror with my Kip winger poster hanging in the background cheering me on – I mean the 80’s were great for a reason and for that reason I just don’t want to see it end – and once more he does seem like a natural “on stage”

Matt – Is his mom black? Who would have thunk it? I felt like he was good but there were more shadoobies and yah ahh yahh yahhs going on than actual lyrics. I think he will be around for a bit.

Alexis – I enjoy that she is really putting in the time to teach her kid the important things in life “seacrest out” F the alphabet and the 1, 2,3’s lets fast forward to what counts!! NICE. I think she is great – she did Dirty D. Justice last night and I am so glad this single mommy can cut costs my sharing clothes with her daughter – seriously she is so TINY…..I still am singing “oh so soft and cuddlily!” So anywho no big surprises she will stick around for the long haul.

WOW – and breathe.

So If I had my way I would say Michael and Jorge but I think it will go Michael and Jasmine.

Munson out.