Motown & "D" town........

Okay first things first Hittsville USA – Don’t promote it as if they are walking through the Louvre in Paris. I am just saying I have been on the Hittsville tour and not to downplay the amazing stories that came from there, but let’s be honest it is a total DUMP. I mean it is in the middle of projects and you feel like you will get a cap in your ass at a moments notice – I can just see these poor kids minds spinning “take me back to my mansion in Hollywood ASAP! I am afraid very afraid!” I would also like to share that my very own hubbie was a honorary temptation on our tour as I shoved him out onto the recording studio floor the moment they requested volunteers (he he) I got to see him do “du-op” moves and sing my girl…….So all in all it was worth taking the chance that I might fall victim to a drive by shooting just to witness him having to do this in front of the tour group. I will also add it was kinda cool to witness the silver beaded MJ glove……..however it didn’t make me tear up as one lil rounds did – and you know why – I will tell you why I knew I was heading back to my calculator to play with numbers for the rest of my life and not fulfill any dreams out on that stage like she will…….okay ENOUGH of my own personal sob story …..Onto bigger and better things……

Let’s spend some time on Smokey…..all I am saying why does he feel like it is appropriate to be possibly in his 60’s (?) and dress like Tony Hawk heading for the half pipe? The skater shirt, the hoodie, the vans… it was a bit age inappropriate. Also inappropriate was my thought that if you added a little MORE eyeliner and add a wig he would make a great woman…….I found myself analyzing his very female facial features…anyone? Anyone?

The Judges….
Paula – when did it become okay to come dressed up as Jon Benet’ Ramsey? I thought it was a bit tasteless. I think she is watching too much tiaras and toddlers on TLC, and now I am a bit tasteless for even knowing that show exists. And for the love of the disco ball on her ring – I will place bets that that thing opens up and a little known white powder is hiding in there…..just a hunch.
Kara – Just when I wanted to hug her and squeeze the snot out of her for finally coming out of her shell and saying some really “worthwhile” comments last night (I will give props when due) I mean I really thought she should be applauded for finally saying something decent but then she spit out “Give me some rhythm Scott, YO!” and waving her best sha-nay-nay finger – then I immediately remembered why I have not applauded her before. Is she sitting too close to Randy? I think it is effecting her IQ.
Simon – I really enjoy how he torments Paula into answering questions how he wants them answered and how much it flusters her……
Randy – dude, dawg, really I have run out of comments for this one hit wonder.

Okay so finally the contestants……IT’S RAINING MEN HALLELUEH…..IT’S RAINING MEN…… I guess with Alexis gone I didn’t realize how few girls there are……

Matt – I feel like there is an awful big push for the cardigan this year….I don’t hate it, but I don’t love it…….Matt sang Let’s get it on…….and yes he did sing it very well, but I would just like to put out a newsflash to Paula that he wasn’t ACTUALLY singing it to you or about you……she looked way too excited, didn’t she learn anything from her tryst with the curly hair fella from a few seasons ago – it’s not who of you to sleep with the contestants…..some would think this is common sense, but not Paula….

Kris – Sang “How sweet it is….” All I have to say is how Sweet is you……am I alone here or is he the cutest thing since Jonathan Lipinski from Jerry McGuire? Let’s be honest he isn’t THAT amazing vocally, but hey neither is Britney Spears and all you guys want to keep her around for some eye candy, I don’t think the ladies should be ashamed to do so too……I was however intrigued to figure out the cryptic numbering system he had written all over his shoulders, I felt like Tom Hanks in the Divinci Code, must be the nerdy accountant in me.

Scott – oh thank GOD he made mention of it – I was thinking are we really going to go through this whole thing and not point out that he is wearing pink pants and a paisley pastel shirt? Poor thing that he didn’t find out until 10 minutes prior – I literally did a calendar check to see if it was April fools day….it wasn’t it was just a poor little man dressed in KEN clothes and I felt really bad for him, on top of that he sounded like S*** so then I felt even worse….I hate to say it Scott I believe it is nearing the end of the road for you…….You are truly an inspiration but you must pack your bags…….

Megan – Umm wait Scott don’t pack your bags just yet………Remember when I said I was still on the fence about if I liked her jazzy routine or not – well guess what I was literally pushed OVER the fence last night and will officially say I am over it. However I will say I would switch hitters for just a short period of time for her…….She is one hot babe and I am not afraid to say it!

Anoop – he is coming into his own and I am happy for him. What I am not so elated with is his one dance move – it goes like this – open palm to the heart and then out to a bent side elbow wave……he seems to love it, in fact he loved it so much that he did it Yup, 11 times last night, that is right I rewound and counted. He is definitely better at the slower songs but I find my self missing “My prerogative”

Michael – sang “Ain’t too proud to beg” America I am “begging” please send this turd home. He is not good and for him not to even be in the bottom three is absurd……I don’t like his voice, his dance moves are spastic and I feel like the stage might crack every time those football thunder thighs assist with some leg stomping…..it frightens me.

Lil - I will have to agree song sounded very rushed and fast…….but I will have to compliment her on her AWESOME dress – I tried to figure out where and when could I wear that and then answered – nowhere with a big deep sigh……would it be appropriate at McDaniels? No worries here…… she will remain….

Adam – WOW the hairdo really threw me for a loop….why did he randomly morph into a mix of Corey Feldman and Lou Diamond Phillips? I enjoyed the clean cut I can actually see both of your eyes look, however the double earrings, the pocket scarf, the 10 lbs of Grecian formula, shiny suit – it was a bit much for me – back to HOT TOPIC you must go my friend…….oh yeah this is a singing competition – he also sang well.

Danny – We all know he is good and a front runner and I secretly enjoy that the boys are stepping up their games to give this guy a run for his money, since they were building it up as if he were going to walk away with the trophy after the first audition – So last night I found myself not so into the song, but more concerned about where in the world is Jamal? Did he leave his BFF in his Hollywood dust? This concerns me.

Allison – Super great – she will give Lil a run for her money and I think I was half asleep at this point and having nothing further. I will have to say I would like the hair people to change up the pink/red do – I think it might really change up her game……

Bottom Three Michael/Megan/Scott – with Megan going home.

Munson out……..