Not a "Wyze" choice.......

Well nope, I am not happy. I have never disliked Lee per say, but do I think he deserves it more, no I don’t. Actually a friend emailed me this morning and put it quite eloquently….

“Can’t believe one of the best singers ever to grace the AI stage lost last night. I won’t watch the show ever again……”

Now I don’t know if I can commit to that level of hatred at this point, but I do agree, Crystal had it she was original, relaxed, humble, and just a joy to listen to….ha I am so sure I am embarrassed at myself right now for typing that ……but bygones……I realize that all these girl’s hoo has are not voting for talent but rather some sleepy boys eyes with a dream attached to that…..I get it a bit, (insert Kris Allen) but I just felt like it wasn’t that easy this year…….

And I can’t possibly spend the time to continue my rant on Lee’s “beautiful day” release, because I do have a job…….Perhaps the big deal with that was they were going to have Bono join him on stage until they found out this week he would be having to get wheeled in a hospital bed or a wheelchair, since he has a back of a 100 year old man and needs surgery. Someone I wish that would have been restrained in a wheelchair last night was Mr. Michaels……Seriously this guy is the ultimate publicity whore, I mean he was on deaths door a few weeks ago and he could barely walk across the stage on the Trump Finale on Monday, but he says I am good I am just going to go and rock it out with Casey???? I was a nervous wreck the entire performance, he caused me to have a sweaty upper lip I was waiting for his legs to collapse, his brain to start bleeding…..ugh it was too much to take and then my husband revealed that he found out he has a hole in his heart and needs heart surgery soon……I seriously exhaled when it was over and just prayed that he got off that stage before he had another incident!

The other guests they are okay, I appreciate the stars that ACTUALLY sang with the idol contestants and just didn’t say no thanks I will Lip Sync on my own…..(insert Janet J.) I would have loved to by a fly on the wall when they found out ….girls you will be rocking it with Ms. Aguilera and boys…..you get Hall and Oates……wah wah wah……that was unfortunate. Carrie Underwood is seriously stinking beautiful and talented….and I might just add her to my list. It is ri-donk-cu-lous…..

Janet looks to be on the skinny train again… how can her body change so much in a years time frame…..it is almost inspiring…..It also looks like she inherited Michaels nose in the will……..(thanks hubbie)

The Paula thing was wicked stupid. It just proves why she is no longer on that show. I did have a few heart palpitations thinking she might just announce that she is replacing Simon as the judge….oh thank god it didn’t happen.

Did anyone notice that all the past winners were there except David Cook……apparently he was off at a benefit for his fallen brother……good for him.

POTG….who knew General Larry had so many crazy leg dance moves in him……I knew it was coming, but did they have to add Mr. Hung…..it as too much, you know because POTG is fine by itself……so sure.

Okay well that is it…..It wasn’t stellar…….but always entertaining……..

Munson out……(could it be forever……..)

Dewyze vs. Bowersox....

Okay so most of my posts are really rants about poking fun at people that I know can’t poke fun back, or making fun of how this show runs, but I am going to turn over a new leaf today (well sort of) in respects to the two contestants who both in my mind deserve to be there. So with that being said, I don’t think last night’s performances necessarily swayed any votes. I mean come on you are either Team Bowersox or Team Dewyze before you watched that show and last night probably didn’t sway too many people one way or the other. I am definitely Team Bowersox, not that I don’t enjoy Lee, I just think it is hers for the taking. She has been rock solid from the beginning and it is just easy for her. I can’t even fault these guys for some of their mediocre singing last night – producers picked the songs, and sort of made them dig their own graves……Okay enough of Mrs. Nice…..

What I have a HUGE problem with were the songs that are supposed to be their first single release! OMG seriously AI really you gonna play it like that, they both were given songs that have already been recorded by other artists. Isn’t that what this show is supposed to be promoting new cutting edge artists? Then why in Gods name are we having them release cover songs? And not just any cover song…..Lee got handed the short straw as he is asked to release one of the most popular songs, sung by one of the most popular bands, with a voice that is one of the most recognizable voices in the industry. I am so sure – why would you do that to this little paint store worker? How could he honestly ever top what Bono is going to do? That is like asking Crystal to say hey why don’t you release “I will always love you” by Whitney Houston and see how that goes. I mean she lucked out because even though it is still a cover I mean how many people really know this song by Patti Griffin, It at least “appeared” her own by the general public. American Idol I feel you really missed the mark on this and didn’t do your contestants any favors. I mean really with a top billboard song writer right at your judges table you couldn’t have had her jot down a lil’ ditty for these poor folks , you just threw in the towel and said you…..you sing Bono……..and you sing Patti Griffin……it was lazy and uncalled for! I mean you might say I am never satisfied as I have complained in years past of the weak songs that they make these folks release (love ballads galore) but at least they were written for them and it was truly an original “release” So yes I am disappointed and seriously feel bad for Lee who has to compete with such an anthem that he couldn’t possibly make better. Shame on you AI.

And with that I think and hope Crystal will walk away with the trophy!

Munson out……

As it should be.....

Okay so I guess I was a bit premature with my last post. I was glad that Idol gave the final three their fair share with screaming fans and hometown parades!!

I don't have too much to add, other than it would have been wrong if any other two were in that finale. So looking forward to it, I think Lee is winning hearts by the minute so it will be a fun ending to a mediocre season!

My main concern is for the safety of one Casey James, I am serious, someone needs to put a restraining order on Kara D. because the minute Seacrest read his name that he was the next one to go home Kara was gritting her cougar teeth and using every bit of restraint not to pounce on that stage. So now that he isn't in the running I fear for his bouncy curls because she will do everything in her power to get her aged spotted hands running through that corn silk. I am just happy that he still is under a lock and key contract with the final 10 tour that hopefully will keep her away a bit longer.

Munson out.....

Hometown Heroes??

Hometown heroes? More like hometown losers, what the……Where were the home town parades (a la Elliot Yamin?) where were the concerts (a la Kris Allen) really American Idol all you were able to do was gather up about 60 folks outside an ATT strip mall? Is that what you have sold out for? A little more advertising?? Well part of my financial background applauds you for taking what you can before Mr. Cowell’s departure, but I felt like you let these three folks down. I mean no screaming fans, no confetti and loud noisemakers, no ticker tape parades literally it was like you said there was a free expo at ATT and you might get a free stress squeezie ball if you show up, and those 60 people did and they at least deserve that double faced highlighter marker combo…..I am so sure Poor Lee didn’t even get a crowd he just got air time in an airplane – Step it up AI this is your FINAL three for what is probably your FINAL year on the upswing……I am just saying.

Okay does anyone else think Ryan looks like Kermit the frog, I don’t know if it is the bug eyes, the short stature, the comparison to ALL the tall people he has to stand next to, his over cooked skin…….I can’t put my finger on it……..don’t get me wrong Ryan is ABSOULTLY fabulous at what he does, he is well spoken, quick witted, and generally really likable, however every time I see him I just start singing “Rainbow connection” it’s weird.

Simon – He winks excessively, and I am a little bit over it. Always winking at people during the audience, Kara, the contestants…..I am starting to think he has a tick.

So the contestants – I think it is apparent that Casey must go, number one for his ability and number two for that pastel flowered BLOUSE he wore. All the judges made a good point…. it is make it or break it and honestly he doesn’t cut it, it would be a shame for the other two not to make it in the finale. I also think the judges tried very hard to sway it that way in order make the finale competitive and not a total blow out…. I mean come on if it Casey and Crystal are in the final two it’s obvious and not so much intrigue. Crystal vs. Lee not so cut and dry. Lee definitely has stepped up his game and he sounds great, however I still love consistency and the art of making it look easy, and that my friend is Crystal, from day one, but like with everyone I seem to be liking Lee a little bit more each week!

Also FYI Lee’s parents are super cute and I appreciate that the mom went out and had a soccer mom button made up with Lee’s picture to adhere onto her jean jacket as if he just was off to his first T-ball game…….absurd, but secretly cute.

That is it folks, Casey to go home.

Munson out……

Big Mike's parents.....

A friend did some research on Big Mikes Parents....see below....

Cherie…I was reading your American Idol blog and noticed your comments on Big Mike’s lack of parents. See the mtv link below. He has reason to hate them…..

http://www.mtv.com/news/articles/1630479/20100126/story.jhtml

Teddy Bear takes a tumble....

I mean I am not surprised. I think Casey is a bit more likable by the female population, and probably most males J I always wonder though the back stories, I mean why no parents ever for Mike? Have they passed? Do they not talk? Did the wife tell them to take a hike? I just always wonder about these peeps that show up with “Friends” and leave their ma and paws behind. I would seriously disown my kids if they left me watching that crap on TV in my lazy boy back home.

Next I am glad that American Idol can admit their failures and invite Daughtry back on to perform even though he didn’t win. I mean seriously how did he not even make it to the final two is beyond me, I could listen to his voice over and over. I could not however look at this etch a sketch face for more than one performance. It’s not like he is bad looking but the chops and random dark facial hair with none on top just reminds me of dragging that fake metallic hair onto that face with the magnet pen.

Bon Jovi – YUMMY! Seriously getting better and better looking every year, I feel bad that the years are not treating Richie as kindly especially on the cranium. He had more back combing and hairspray trying to style that angel haired pasta than my graduating class in 1991. JBJ you can be my superman anytime!

Fantasia – Did seven years really pass and make me forget about that SUPER annoying helium voice? And why did a beavers’ tail land on her forehead last night?

That’s it folks hopefully we can watch Casey take a tumble next week. If all goes according to plan.

Munson out.

Final 4

First of all, the contestant vs. artist shirts was so stupid and lame! I enjoyed how Mike refused to take it. Mr. Foxx you had nothing going for you last night except a lot of over dramatic facial expressions, A for effort with the T-shirts, but just didn’t have the umph you were hoping for. I mean lets face it they are still contestants, give them a chance, I am sure no one handed you a shirt with “Homey D. Clown” on it and told you to wear it, and never advance in your career. I am just saying these kids will evolve into an artist just like you took off your clown nose and started in films.

Second of all why was Kara dressed like she was heading into Trump’s board room?

Third having all four contestants as guitar players paints an ugly picture for any future contestant who JUST sings.

Last night I didn’t enjoy anything except for the duet with Lee and Crystal. Can we just call both of them winners and require them to record together? They sounded awesome together and lucky they did, I think it saved Lee’s ass a bit last night.

Lee – didn’t sound good and it makes me worried – he deserves to be in that final with Crystal. He also deserves to have his jeans laundered at least one a month. Those things were baggy than Jared’s stomach skin post subway diet.

Mike – sang free willy theme song and again just okay for me. Sort of over him.

Casey – The Mrs. Robinson, was so contrived it was ridiculous….I couldn’t focus on the song because I can’t take my eyes off his ridiculously perfect spiral curls and wishing my hair dresser understood that spiral curl instead of the pube infested perm I received in high school.

Crystal – I mean come on she is just leaps and bounds beyond what everyone is bringing at this point and I am proud of her girl power at this point in the game!

Casey/Mike duet – yeah it was good, but would I re-watch it, probably not.

Mike to go home tonight

Munson out.

All about Harry.

Was last night a Harry Connick Jr. Variety show hour? I actually feared that Ryan was going to have to go grab a hooked cane and wrap it around his neck to pull him off that damn stage. I mean he sang, he talked with the crowd, he told jokes, he played piano, I mean don't get me wrong he was great at all of it, but come on you can only HOG the stage for so long.......

Do you think Ellen was super pissed that last night was men's suit/tux night and no one told her? I mean the one evening where she could have fashionably meshed one on one with these peeps and no one gave her the memo?? I saw her giving Crystal the evil eye and mouthing.....step off my suit and tie look Bi-atch....

I am home with a sweet spring time head cold so I am going to cut this short. Arron's departure, nope not mad it had to happen he has plenty o' time to get out there and "grow" into this business.....I don't worry about him, he and Clay Aiken will be doing Sonny and Cher renditions at the local county fairs before you know it!

I surprisingly am seeing eye to eye with America on the final four......Casey and Big Mike will hopefully take the next diggers and all will be right in the world.

Munson out.....

Ol' Blue Eyes

I got to say I like me some Harry Conick Jr., I enjoyed his humor and his marketing ploy to get himself out and in front of millions of people yet once again, nicely played. So Sinatra, yes they are great songs and he was amazing…..let me repeat HE was amazing…I don’t know when others sing his songs it just becomes a little sleepy, he made those songs what they were because they were cutting edge and everyone wanted to hop aboard those baby blues, but when other pre pubescent kids sing them I gotta say just ho hum…….and borderline annoying. It’s like someone else trying to recreate Elvis, it just comes across as corny, he made them famous because he was the first to do it and it really can’t be replicated, so last night a bit sleepy for me. The only thing that kept me awake was another set of baby blues, Mr. Harry. He is cute, funny, but why the crooked face? It appears someone took a right hook to his left side jaw….did anyone notice how he would never stand with his left side to the camera and its because his face is crooked and I think I discovered it! Yeah me. I also liked how he actually participated in the show, not just some act sitting in the crowd clapping for his little protégés. Don’t get me wrong his advertising ploy was clearly noted, but so be it – I would do the same, you want my help, then help me…… Kudos Mr. Connick! Okay back to Sinatra – or his kids, and when I say kids I mean elderly woman who can barely stand up. WOW – did anyone catch that Simon only kissed the half way normal matronly one when he rec’d his hankie, he stayed clear of the Donatella Versace look a like – yikes – seriously put down the scalpel and walk away……walk away and age in a dignified manner.

Judges – I enjoyed Ellen’s banter with Harry…..funny. I did not like the poodle that was resting on Simon’s chest for all to see. I did enjoy the cluster confused, panicked look on Ellen’s face when you could tell that she liked Casey’s performance then Randy started off saying he hated it and you could see her mentally scrambling to change her tune and come up with something that she didn’t like either. Her novice showed last night. And what was with her cock a doodle do hair do last night?

Aaron – I didn’t appreciate the Mr. Roger’s comb over last night…..too nerdy and it showed how large his snoz is. Again really boring and no one wants to see a 16 year old TRY to have swagger. Hehhehm…..Justin Beiber. Still can’t latch onto this one.

Casey – I loved the friend calling him for a gig and enticing him with free food……. #1 what friend doesn’t watch TV…..no friend of mine…….#2 Really $50 bucks? I mean even if I never stepped foot on idol I think I might be insulted. The Saturday night fevered purple shirted Fabio was terrible, really shaky and hard to listen to. Also when did that astro turf beard come in?? I think it is buh bye for Mr. Goldilocks.

Crystal – Saucy little thing last night – loved the dress and she looked really good and randomly thinner. In one week what is your secret girl? And as good as she always sounds can we just leave the crack pipe roach clip at home just once? That isn’t too much to ask.

Big Mike – I think he has redeemed himself. Sounded great and looked the part. Casey should be punching a wall right about now.

Lee – There was a little too much man love going on between him and Harry last night. Andrew Garcia should worry that his BFF has been replaced. He sounded great and I think my sleepy little nugget is finally cracking out of his shell…..good thing since this gig is almost up! Also I have now officially had 5 people tell me that my husband looks like Lee D. I don’t necessarily see it, but others apparently do.

Can we just call it good and have Crystal and Lee compete in the Finale already?

Casey to go home…..

Munson out.

Shi-o-gone.....

So I didn’t have the most pleasurable viewing of AI last night – we had company and there was a lot of chitter chatter happening and I missed half the show. Am I shocked yeah a little, but honestly I don’t think she is our “winner” anyway so at this point in the game it was bound to happen soon. I did however agree with Casey and Mike being the other bottom two. So for the sake of being polite to my guests I don’t have too much to report, a bit shocked, but not mad.

Munson out.....

Come and ride the Twain.....

As if Ellen didn't already try to over do that joke......but I couldn't help myself. Okay If I remember correctly I have already professed my love for Ms. Twain back when she was a guest judge in auditions. The woman is remarkable for a 45 year old woman she is aging along side the Demi Moore phenomenon and I agree with Crystal it is as if she has a golden glow to her....and then it makes me mad that 9 years her junior I sit typing on my laptop with toothpaste caked on my PMS "under grounder" zit and shoulder length hair that will refuse to grow....what is this woman's secret.....seriously she needs to get on the motivational speech tour circuit or at least a skin care line on QVC ....something sister we want in!

Kara's neck wear....you know what I was all set to rip her a new one with her random geological masterpiece wrapped around her neck, but as the show progressed I actually really enjoyed the mass of gemstones and purified rock that complimented her muted stylish shirt - I feel like she fired her stylist from last year, they probably they just lent her Paula's and that is why she had so many "incidents" last year, but with Paula's departure there is a new bobby trendy in town and I am not mad at their choices.

Lee - Sang "Still the one" - Now Shaina said start with just lyrics and piano, but he couldn't do it his fingers were mimicking playing but he really wasn't actually strumming. It was like telling someone to hold an ice cream cone but don't take a lick. Thought he sounded good it's more the type of voice I prefer, but I think he is finally finding a comfort zone, which is nice.

Big Mike - I think I am starting to realize that I just like this guy because he is cute, cuddly, & likable, not necessarily because he is an awesome singer. Don't get me wrong he has a great voice just not the voice I want to hear song after song or go purchase an entire R&B album of theatrical ballads, it's nice to listen to for a while but would I grab it for a long road trip in the car....nope. So I think I am fading away from the big guy.......I know not a popular choice but I am just trying to keep it real.

Casey - They liked you last night. I didn't. It was shaky and just okay for me. I was more focused on who had more spiral curls in their hair last night Shaina or Casey? Now come on Casey, there is no way that air drys like that there has to be a lot of hot curling iron rods assisting the flow.....there is just no way......I think he is easily forgettable and I am sure there is a Nickelback cover band waiting for his departure.

Crystal - I enjoy that she called out her baby daddy to "man up" Well at least I think it is the father? I mean at least I hope he is for fairy tale sakes. I agree with the judges It was fine but yeah a bit boring, the song didn't have umph....and I will have to disagree bigger is better when you are trying to WOW millions of swaying votes. Still a top runner not going anywhere - but I can guarantee they will put her in the bottom three tomorrow night for oohhs and ahhhs and then send her to safety....I can just see the editing department working on it now....

Aaron - they actually introduced him and I honestly forgot he was still in the competition, which is terrible because he really does have a great voice and sings for the most part flawlessly but man I just can't sink my teeth into it, there is no excitement or passion for him, I honestly don't care if he does well or not....why is he not likable for me? He is young, cute, humble, and shy? I don't know I don't even understand my choice not to like him but I don't.....

Siobhan - okay seriously I know she is the quirky loose cannon everyone can't wait for but how many times can she close the show.....it seriously seems like crystal or Siobhan are the last to perform more often than not. They did this with Adam too....go out on a high note, keep people watching - not sure but the pecking order doesn't seem to be even. I mean she gets Lasers, Casey gets a stool to sit on......They want her in this for as long as they can make her stay, because she draws intrigue......just like Adam did, but for different reasons of course. She is definitely a performer which I appreciate and I thought she sounded good last night but are people going to but up with this favoritism? I think they will. I think we will all continue to be puppets and listen to how the judges want to sway our votes each week. That is just how it goes.

I think Casey or Big Mike might go home.

Munson out.

Idol finally does give back!!

Just like in the 1980 Olympic hockey game I wanted to jump up and down and scream “Do you believe in Miracles?” I am not a very religious human, but damn it all….Praise Jesus……Oh the idol gives back episode couldn’t have ended on a higher note with me….Seriously Tim you can take that million dollar smile and go on your “little tour” and then my friend have fun with your new blue vest and red name tag and work on your “welcome to Wal-Mart” presentation, because with your voice that is all you are capable of! Okay so happy me!

So then a few things about last night….

The idol gives back banner…..it bugged me, with all the $$ flowing into this show they had to go up and steal Sara Lee’s logo? Come on marketing people step it up!

Okay now I will try my darndest to not get on a soap box but COME ON …..Really Mr. President?? “You are all my Dawgs!” Really? You haven’t had enough respect for yourself lost yet? You want to continue? I mean come on we get it your young, your hip, you have daughters you want to relate to …….but I REPEAT you are still the leader of the FREE WORLD please don’t try to ax cool and talk in Ebonics……there were a few folks out there that were not in the 20 something range that did vote for you and I think you at least owe them that! I was embarrassed for every Obama bumper sticker I saw this morning on my way into work.

Now don’t take this the wrong way my heart pours out for these under privileged children it does, especially in these countries that can not withstand the elements. But sometimes I find it hard to swallow the American families that are living in such poverty (a la Jenifer Garner’s story) don’t get me wrong I get it people are down on their luck and can’t make ends meet – but for the LOVE why do you keep getting pregnant and having children knowing you can not support them?? The family in the trailer heated by opening their stove had 6 kids under the age of 6…..okay within those 6 years you must have known things weren’t looking stellar…..stop having kids…..I will stop now. Nope no I will not – these kids also living in a trailer with no heat had double pierced ears and the mom had nails…..okay now I will stop.

Posh spice….I love these famous celebrities who are begging for donations, and I get it they have clout and pull but I sat there watching her and her gig was with a little donation we could purchase 10 books or whatever and I thought with the amount of money you spent on your couture dress you could have housed 5 libraries…….I am just saying I think it should be a requirement that the celebrities that appear have to say what they are donating as well…..and it better be A LOT …..At least I can respect Bill Gates since he and the pipes that his wife seems to bear….. are one of the largest donors in America every year….as they should be.

Black eyed peas….sounded like pooh. I am tired of these techno songs that are made for the radio and then just come across like **** live……it was awful. Another beef – I am on quite the tirade today huh?? The body suit……Yep listen up Beyonce, Fergie, Britney…..I am tired of the leotard…..yes you all look amazing in them but seriously I don’t see you getting on a pommel horse or doing a floor routine for a panel of judges. Enough of the gymnast wear…..Here is an idea how about some pants or a nice dress? Hmmmmmm earth shattering…..Let’s save the one pieces for the 35-60 year old crowd at the pool.

Did anyone catch Todd Bridges in the audience? Didn’t he die like 4 years ago?

George Lopez – I have been waiting my whole life for this guys 5 minute gig….Well done Mr. Lopez – I enjoyed his “judging the judges” and the fact that he asked Simon silicone or saline….makes me really respect the little refried bean – again Well done!

Alicia Keys – They first panned to her and I was LOVING her shirt – so cute and then they faded out to wide screen and I was stricken with horror as the shirt I loved so dearly was connected….ummm yes connected to her pants in order to create a one piece jumpsuit….I will not get on board with your Studio 54 wear and Target neither should you….I was in there this week and enough already……how is a practical person supposed to pee?

I was a bit ashamed as they fell to the Octo-mom’s prey last night and contributed to an additional minute of fame for her……Shame on you AI.

Carrie Underwood – I tell you what she has it going on – I might even add her to “my list” I am just saying she is ridiculously cute and she always SOUNDS good ….but really did she just say she would contribute 36 cents of each ticket sold to charity…..ARE YOU KIDDING ME 36 cents….Really we couldn’t have rounded it up to a cool $1. so for ONE of many of your sold out million dollar shows you are only going to fork over $300K – don’t get me wrong that is good money and can be well used but I am just saying when you walk around with a 5 carrot diamond ring and millions in the bank I think you can swing a bit more…..that is all….still on “my list”

And lastly….did David Cook rub a balloon repeatedly against the back of his head?

Munson out……

Inspirations...

Okay I am going to just go ahead and say it. I miss Paula and her ridiculous antics…..Now don’t get me wrong I spent all last season wishing and hoping for her departure so I wouldn’t have to put up with her seal clap or her indecent amount of flair she would wear, but I am a little bored with the subdued demeanor of the judges…..I mean I don’t expect Ellen to come on the show high as a kite and sleep with most of the contestants, but she is a bit boring compared with Paula, at least it gave us something to talk about……I am just saying. Also does Ryan still need to introduce himself at this point? “Welcome to the show….I’m Ryan Seacrest” I mean seriously we all know who you are. Can you be considered a name dropper if your dropping your own name?

Casey – sang yesterdays gone. I thought he sounded good but seriously close your eyes and listen to him it is like an exact replica of Huey Lewis not yet sure if that is a good thing or not…..I am sure I am not the first to say it because he choose to sing it himself earlier in the competition, at least he is leaving the neon glasses at home.

Lee – thought he sounded good last night, however there was a lot of spittle strands happening inside his mouth last night that left me thirsty for some aqua…..it was the epitome of cotton mouth. Yuk. He sang “the boxer” and did a lot of la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la’s and I was secretly thinking for all those young folks watching the show who have never heard of Simon and Garfunkel were they thinking “umm did he forget the words?”

Tim – OMG how is he still on that stage? Terrible – I can’t continue this rant for the safety of my own health.

Aaron – “I believe I can fly” I thought he sounded good, but the fact that he admitted that he sang it at his preschool graduation left me in a grumpy old lady mood….why you got to say that doogie?

Siobhan – not that we shouldn’t expect it by now but her dress was a little a la Lady Gaga last night – but secretly I thought she looked really good in it. I mean I am not against a few insects being attached to some clothing….I thought she sounded annoying last night with an annoying song,…….and what is most annoying to me at this point is the large amount of interview time she always gets at the end of her song to explain her song choice…It’s almost as if AI gives her the time in order for her to get some sympathy to keep her on because she is the most controversial thing they have going this season! Has anyone else noticed this favoritism?

Big Mike – First did he really have to pick up Alicia Keys when he met her, can’t the big dude just lean over and give some one a hug instead of introducing himself as the jolly green giant every time. I couldn’t really focus on much after I saw his pit stain that was seriously the size of Lake Michigan. I thought how can one piece of fabric absorb that much moisture? All I am saying is every deodorant manufacturer better be making a call to get your new sponsor!

Crystal – I felt like she was playing dress up in Kara’s closet last night, but at the same time I appreciated her packing up her hemp inspired clothing and stepping out on the runway last night. I think her little emotional breakdown last night was because she finally realized that holy crapper I could really win this thing and I seriously almost quit last week. Thank you, Ryan for stepping in and giving our little Mommasox a pep talk.

Please for the love – Tim going home.


Munson out…..

They had to go at some point....

Well it is true…they both had to take a digger at some point….along with a few others, but I am putting on my patient hat today and taking a deep breath knowing it will happen soon. In a way I sort of feel for Tim because he might be smiling and riding the gravy wagon right now but looking back on his career he will always be labeled “the guy that didn’t really deserve to be there” and will forever have that to battle with. We will see if that cheesy grin still exists in 10 years when he is a night manager at the bowling alley spraying people’s rental shoes. I am just saying…..

A few quick thoughts/notations from last night:

Why was Randy wearing a women’s blouse?
Why did Casey’s hair grow 3-4 inches last night? Was it the super blow out of the curls? Was it the curling and feathering? What is his secret?
Why did Andrew wear a bow tie made out of the same fabric as his shirt – that coupled with the man broach was enough to warrant his departure last night
Ms. Crystal – please take note of Elliot Yamin’s new teeth – this is what is available to you if you keep up the good work! White, shimmering teeth await you if you just stay the course!
Why was the interview with Brooke and her co-performer so uncomfortable?
Why did Brooke only get a messily piano and Adam got more flair on that stage than, a Fourth of July display?
I will admit that Adam’s song “what do you want from me” has grown on me and I caught myself humming it in my office yesterday after I heard it on the radio – but last nights over dramatic slow version sort of killed it for me. I felt like the lasers were better than his voice…….
Ryan didn’t even look that hung over last night…….
Do people really not enjoy big Mike? Why does he keep landing in the bottom 3?

That’s about it….

Munson out……

Elivs & Adam

Elvis, Elvis, Elvis – I am not going to lie, sometimes I don’t get it…..yeah he was all hip shaking and cutting edge, but someone would have done it eventually he just did it first. I don’t get the women fainting at his feet and I don’t necessarily get his songs and lyrics, but then again I didn’t grow up around that time and probably don’t understand how great it was to get out from under the du-ops of that era……. So was I interested a whole lot last night? Not so much. I did however stay entertained by one sloppy intoxicated Ryan Seacrest. Did anyone else think he had a few under his belt last night? I did. He was all over the board, stating things like “wasup” “that would suck” to a 90 year old woman, getting all giddy with his mom, randomly slow dancing with an audience member, I am just saying he was feellliinnnggg gooooddd last night.

Adam Lambert – well honestly I was a bit perturbed when I heard he is the mentor….I mean does he get to be a mentor yet? He has only been flapping that large thick frog tongue for less than a year. How about one Kelly Clarkston or Carrie Underwood – someone that has had chart topping hit after chart topping hit and could have something to say. But then he started going and giving his advice and I totally agreed with him and appreciated his honesty when he would flat out tell people that they sucked! Thank you Adam, they need to hear it, I appreciate you not blowing smoke up their asses, even if you wanted to with your whole being (literally!) I remembered why I “semi” liked him last season and would have probably hopped on board 100% if he wasn’t in direct competition with my perfect teeth, awesome smile boyfriend Kris Allen. Okay enough of this drag queen and his young Einstein hair …let’s get on with it….

Crystal – I have to tell you I am a bit sick of her wood jewelry, her voice great, fantastic even, but the wood jewelry please let it go……I have bad memories of my teachers wearing wooden giraffes and zebras on a knotted bandana and I don’t think it is a trend that should come back full circle, we should stop it where it started in 1979. Another thing that sort of bugs me is her humbleness every time these judges praise her to heaven and back and she stands there and says “thank you” I mean it is polite and all which I appreciate but just once I want to see her be like Hell yeahs I killed that mo fo…..and give a little wooooohhhh shout along with it…..

Andrew – The stylists on this show are really trying to push the man broach hard core. I am not buying into it – it serves no purpose, not that much jewelry does but come on it’s just stupid. – Also stupid his performance – I didn’t like it and beginning to not like him. Sometimes I wish he would get voted off just so I don’t have to see the black framed cut out posters in the audience….the first one, yes, creative, anyone after that borderline annoying.

Tim – Seriously now he decides to get semi good – ugh it takes everything in my being to compliment him on his voice last night, so I will leave it at this ….he didn’t suck. Okay okay I said it but I still would like to see him leave with every fiber of my being. I did enjoy how sassy Adam was with him like it was so obvious he wanted to get all up on that helmet of a hair do and ride it all the way home – Adam said the following to Tim but I sort of heard it like this…….”your cock I wanna suck” “I mean it didn’t suck” “your pretty” “I mean that sounded pretty” WHHOOOPPSSSIEEE…….he was smitten.

Lee – he sang “A little bit more action” – well now isn’t that calling the kettle black? He sounded great but I tell you what the expressionless face is killing me…..It reminds me of Billy Baldwin’s constant I look like I am going to sneeze face. I am just saying act like this is something you want to do for the rest of your life.

Aaron – My gaydar went off the charts with this duo….what do you think? Other than that just dumb, can’t take the youngness of this guy he is too……toddler like and I can’t buy into it.

Siobhan – I think she was showing off for Adam with all the intense face close ups and screaming. She sang suspicious minds and I wasn’t all that impressed, however I am really impressed how many hairstyles this girl can come up with short hair. I am trying to get mine a little longer and all I can come up with is a ponytail?

Mike – Sounded good, no big shakes.

Katie – What was with the tribute to Mr. T last night she had more gold on her than Trump’s ass sits on in a day……ridiculous. I can’t even remember what she sang so it couldn’t have been that good

Casey – fell asleep and not really mad about it.

That is about it. I think Aaron will go home tonight.

Munson out……

Really?

Pardon me while I go on a bit of a rant……ARE YOU KIDDING ME?? I just invested 3 hours of my time this week to seriously start back at the same starting point that I was on Tuesday morning? I am sorry AI but I can see right though your transparent ploy to get more people to vote and put the “scare” into the American people that someone that is really good could possibly be sent home a la Mr. Daughtry. I don’t buy it especially with the cast you carry this year – there is no way, Big Mike should have been in the bottom three last night, nor singing for his lifeline last night. So ridiculous there are four people that this competition revolves around can we just get to it and stop all the nonsense. And more annoyingly was the celebration from the judges when they “saved his ***” I mean it was absurd they were jumping up and down, high fiving, chest pumping as if to say congratulate me or give me some props for saving this big likeable teddy bear. I am so sure it was your stupidity that got him there in the first place. And furthermore to make this guy get up on that stage in those painted on jeans the size of Texas was uncalled for! The stylist should be ashamed to think she could stuff that much muffin in those pants or hide the camel balls that was sure to ensue in those leggings….…..I was seriously afraid for that belt. It looked uncomfortable and constricting and I could relate on many different occasions to that same feeling not to mention trying to belt out a ballad.

So yes to say the least I was disappointed with last night and not only with Big Mike here are a few other reasons.

The fact that Kara didn’t think she could make it to a seamstress prior to the show to sew up all the holes in her arms and chest on her shirt?

The fact that Mr. Archuletta sounded like he just ran the Boston Marathon with his excitable heavy breathing during his Ryan interview….

The fact that Rhianna’s song sucked some serious ***…..This might be uncalled for but I liked it better when she was getting the snot knocked out of her …..at least her music had some umph and some valid lyrics not just randomly shouting I am a rock star. STUPID. Even more stupid – her beauty…..crazy pretty.

The fact that Rhianna can also wear a latex cat suit and look like she is just hanging out in sweats eating pizza…….jealously was rearing it’s ugly head!

The fact that Tim Urban continued with him Muppet smile all the way to the top 3 that were safe seriously made me consider watching…….I might have to get all Columbine on these teenage girls if they continue…..Just joking….not a necessary comparison but too lazy to erase.

Lastly, the fact that these “big star” performers come on and just suck. I mean take away the stage, the pyrotechnics, the dance and glitz and even Tim Urban could compete with these guys – I feel like it is quite embarrassing and pretty much a slap in the face to anyone who has purchased their songs on I Tunes.
Munson out…….

Lennon/McCartney

Well okay here we go…..

Aaron – This little “Yoda” needs to just say “going I am home” I mean yes he is likeable, cute, young, but holy crapper is he BORING. I tried really hard to like him despite sounding “decent” he is just a total log on that stage and completely puts me to sleep! I agree with “E” yes it seemed like a LONG and WINDING song that would never end! Also I was wondering why he was wearing a blue chef’s jacket couples with a plaid Abercrombie shirt. Odd choice.

Katie – She sang Let It Be and we all should admit it, it is the best she has sounded. But I have to draw the line at the black nylons paired with the neon pink dress – it gave me shivers of 1982 when I tried to do the same. There was also a lot of flair kicking last night, a bit too much if you ask me…..big hoop earrings, lots of necklaces, belts, hip chains, medallions. Too much – but I think the interviews helped her too because she seems like the most down to earth funny normal one!

Andrew – Again with the stage behind the judges, didn’t “E” and Ryan give the show enough flack for that last time Big Mike tried it? Hmmmm weird. He was ayite….nothing fabulous. I do love how the judges are constantly promoting be young, hip, current and kudos Andrew – nothing says young and current like a business suit with a canary yellow golf shirt buttoned to the top, I get the nerd thing is coming back a bit and “different is cool” but seriously I looked at him and would have bet $100 bucks that someone tied his shoe laces together and he was going to go splat right onto his large frames and puffy hair via the nerd Halloween costume circuit.

Big Mike – I like the “heeyaaawwwhhhh” I have tried to incorporate into my daily life and I have to tell you its kinda fun! He was good last night, he is good every week. He is my steady Eddy. One thing I am wondering – do you ever think he gets sick of picking people up? I mean the expectations have to be hard for him every time he sees someone tiny (aka Aaron or Ryan) Somewhere in that big head of his I bet he is just wishing he could shake someone’s hand for once.

Crystal – Here is our other steady Eddy – she was great last night, she is great every night. I enjoy her humbleness and appreciate her respect for what everyone has to say about her, whether she likes it or not. The didgeridoo was great – I enjoyed that they practically needed a 911 shout out for the man blowing into it. Well done.

Tim – Okay I am not going to lie I just did 3 deep breathing exercises before typing this….You all know how I feel about this tool, but I have to agree with the YO DAWG – it was good for TIM. I loved how Randy put him in a separate category like “for the people who really suck and shouldn’t even be there you were ayite” Well put dawg. Well he had the mop top kicking for the Beatles but that is about it – and the smile holy **** the smile it literally is like fingernails on a chalkboard for me…… It reminds me of the Tom Cruise “over laugh” – it’s too forced and trying too hard! I would like to pack up his **** eating grin including the random snaggletooth on cuspid #6 and send him away!!

Casey – aka goldilocks….he sounded good last night – He reminds me of the lead singer in Nikelback no?


Siobhan – Holy desperately seeking Susan meets Stevie Nicks…… I guess at this point it would be weird if she just showed up normal…….I didn’t like the song nor her version of it……..I also didn’t enjoy the Sharon Stone glimpse I kept catching as no one has apparently taught this little librarian how to sit in a skirt especially while propped on a stool. I am however intrigued on the “doing this for my little sisters” sob story – I can’t recall what is the deal with the sisters? I might have to do some research…..if you can lend any help around this email me!

Lee – Who would have thunk it – the love affair between him and Andrew……semi sweet …..Semi borderline……semi weird. I think he sounded great and got some blood pumping compared to A LOT of slow songs last night……I enjoyed the bag pipe guy including his huge fluffy hat.

Going home – I have to do just out of Principal Tim, but secretly I think Katie or Aaron will go home…….

Munson out……

April Fools.....

Hahahaha I get it April fools day right ……This was all a joke and Tim really did get sent home. Good one AI……

Seriously are you kidding me, don’t get me wrong, even though I enjoyed the emotional train wreck that she was, let’s be honest she wasn’t going to win this thing so I am not so much mad that she went home but FURIOUS that someone stayed…..Seriously so be it he should just win this whole darn thing and prove that this season is literally one big April Fool’s joke. Nigel must be doing the Dr. Evil laugh right now and thanking his lucky stars he walked away from this show two years ago……. I just might start “voting” for him at this point Yeah let him win and then let MTV and the airwaves embarrass him until no end as they try to push that voice onto the rest of America…..

Speaking of embarrassing…..ummm……Usher’s voice. Let me just say you ain’t “all that” without your computerized synthesizer up your sleeve. I will give him props for his dancing skills they are “da bomb” but seriously the voice was brutal and was he really singing or just talking? Didn’t he just mentor 10 people on how to sing?

While on the subject of “talking” let’s discuss one Puffy, p.diddy, Sean Combs……My three year old son could have written more in depth lyrics…and even possibly tried to SING them to a melody….. really? “hello….good morning…..dirty money……hello …..good morning…..dirty money” I am sick of the lack of hard work and creativity in these performers who spend 10 weeks as number one on the charts……Why are we biting or listening to this junk? And can Puffy please put on an ensemble that isn’t white….I would love for him to dawn a nice banana yellow or melon track suit for once.

This brings me to the third AA performer last night Rubie the Cubie….although looks like the cube is molding into an oval as of late. I loved that he lost a bunch of lbs but still decides to keep his old humungous suit that looks like a grill cover on. Step on out Rubie and feel proud in that fitted muscle shirt…….And a tour with Rubie and Clay?? …… I would like to go just to catch wind of the diversity of the crowd there……I picture it in my mind and giggle a bit.

So I don’t ever watch this show live anymore with the power of DVR I am sure most of you don’t either, it is so nice to FF past the commercials and get down to bid-ness in half the time. However, Chris made a good point. This entire show has become one big commercial and we should be FFing through the entire thing if you think about it……Pepsi, Ford, Clash of the Titans, Usher, and whatever other flavor of the week is being promoted. It truly has become an advertising stage instead of a singing stage. I swear to god if they start having a pedi egg, a bump it, or sham WOW on that stage I am throwing in the towel.

Munson out.

I'm all "caught up"......

Okay first of all Usher, I am not going to lie I have been known to jog a bit faster when he is on my iPod, or pump my fist up and out my window when he is blaring out of my car. So yeah I guess I like him and his music…however what I do NOT like is the following.
1.The fact that his body guard needs to stand when he stands, sit when he sits, practically connecting at the cheek when Usher started to speak, pretty much making his presence known at all moments……I guarantee he was hiding in the Piano when he was mentoring the contestants.
2.His hair cut. Why is it a perfect square cut out around the forehead? It just looks stupid.
3.The half hour interview with him and Ryan Seacrest. What is going on I felt like I was watching Oprah. This is the reason that I wasted 2 hours last night and not one?

Other than that I guess he was good and help the folks out.

Judges –
Kara – okay the butthole lips are KILLING me is anyone catching the facial puckering?
Randy – Why does he feel it necessary to iron on a circus elephant onto his cardigan as if that is going to be cooler than a Lactose alligator?
Simon – I am not lying I think I saw his navel last night – seriously why does he even wear a shirt? He should just come out in that natural sweater we all know is hiding underneath.
Ellen – she is looking OLD, may I suggest a bit of Oil of Olay around the crows feet? She looked like Dezi Arnez as he just came home from work and couldn’t wait to get that bow tie undone…..ridiculous.

Siobhan - Also ridiculous…she sounded bad last night. But even more ridiculous was how her body was like a magician’s assistant, cut into three separate parts, Top looked like a Greek goddess, Middle looked like every girl in teen beat in 1985, and bottom looked like Neil Armstrong as he stepped onto the moon – seriously tennis moon boots? It made me dizzy.

Casey – sounded good. I started enjoying his understated look as Siobhan is really trying to go out there and then quickly remembered that his ponytail took 12 hours longer than Siobhan’s French braid.

Big Mike – Sitting behind the judges was uncalled for – TV monitors or not…..the stage is there for a purpose you aren’t going to go to Van Andel arena and pop down at the concession stand to play your set – get your large *** on that stage. But honestly this guy can’t miss – not yet anyway!

Didi – Thankfully the little mermaid held it together thank g.o.d. – I don’t enjoy public emotional train wrecks. What was with Ryan badgering her to loose it on stage after she pulled it up from the boot straps to hold it together…..I felt like he was like “say it….say it…..say that your best friend died…..SAY IT” Her performance was just there, nothing special nothing bad….just there. Perhaps Ryan was doing her a favor by trying to gain some sympathy votes, I am glad she didn’t cave.

Tim Urban – I FF’ed it I can’t subject myself to it anymore. I refuse. I did slow it down to catch the judge’s critiques and I agree this guy is Teflon Tim, nothing sticks to him and I think Simon nailed it on the head…..He needs to man up and bow out of this competition because it is the right thing to do.

Andrew – seriously does this guy own three items of clothing….same thing, knit hat, dingy white- T and a cardigan? Where is he shopping “house of Randy Jackson” Although he did sport a nice shiny suit last night, but guess what no one was in the market to buy an Oldsmobile last night……please stylists take this chicken under your wings……

Katie – I liked her snooki poof last night and Amy Weinhouse bouffant do……she sounded good I think she will go through but seriously the dad with the golf shorts still??? I mean can he wrap up his 18 on the course a bit early so he can squeeze in a shower and some clothes before his daughter arrives on NATIONAL TV and tries to change her life…..I am sure!

Lee – Well good morning Mr. Windy City. I feel like he finally shoveled all the sleep from his eyes and woke the eff up last night – sounded real good.

Crystal – really? The big surprise was that she was wearing heels and not Birkenstocks? AI you are hurting and we all notice. I agree with Simon I didn’t like her outfit, even if it showcased her back tats nicely, she looks like she is playing dress up. It is like putting Ellen in a bikini and stilettos sometimes it just doesn’t work. She sounded great as well – go poop teeth!

Aaron - I dozed off after I caught a glimpse of the pee wee Herman hair and couldn’t deal….he annoys me although he is probably a really good singer….just something about him doesn’t allow me to give him the time of day.

Going home for the love of god……..Tim Urban.

Munson out……

Deep Breathing.....

I am at a crossroads here people.....Yes Paige needed to go, but seriously Tim is on the Tour??????? Like I said I am at a crossroads here...... I might need some inspirational nudging to continue on.......

Munson out.

Billboard Hits

Okay let’s get to it….I am in “catch up” mode from being on vacation last week, so might have to make this brief…..

Judges:
Kara – why does she seem to constantly have butt hole lips…..we get it you have nicely glossed lips but honestly pay attention she looks like she is anus, literally. I feel like she is trying to one up Lisa Rhinna
Ellen – Sort of like that she is bringing the “funny” back because let’s face it she isn’t all that she is cracked up to be as a “judge” per say…..I like her comedic interpretations but let’s call a spade a spade …..the show didn’t all of a sudden become better because of her. Let’s stick to talk show hosting and telling jokes.
Randy – why does he continue to look like Mr. Rogers who just got out of arts and crafts class….ugh the beads and cardigans….
Simon – let’s face it he is arrogant and annoying but truly the only one worth listening to and he will be missed next year as this sad set of contestants and his departure sets this show into a downward spiral of flames……

Miley Cyrus – I am not going to lie I don’t hate her……I like most of her songs, she is randomly quirky on her show, she isn’t that much of a ho, what’s to hate? Oh yeah I know……her g.a.y. father who can’t seem to understand the concept of a middle aged man’s haircut and/or a responsible demeanor. I mean really I was surprised that he let Miley on by herself last night and actually didn’t feed her lines to tell the people. Also, why does Miley at the ripe old age of 17 sound like she has been smoking for 16.5 of those years? Should a teenage girl have a voice that is practically as low as James Earl Jones? I did also enjoy getting confirmation that Billy Ray did not procreate with a horse to create Miley and her chompers, but rather they came from her look a like mom, Mrs. Ed. Did you guys catch the two of their jaw lines sitting side by side……NEEEIIIGGGHHHHHH……….

Lee Dewyze – He sounded really good last night but honestly he looks like he is taking a math test. Not one ounce of fun to be shown on his face. He is like the EXACT opposite of Fun Bobby……Boring Lee……. I also wonder if his Frat brothers will haze and black ball him for having the audacity to wear a black rhinestone broach.

Paige Miles – Here here to the stylists! She looked AWESOME last night – but let’s face it she looked a lot better than she sounded. I was almost pissed that she did so bad for the sheer fact that it might make Mr. Urban stick around one more week.

Tim Urban – okay seriously I am starting a national campaign to ban Tim from any future performing arts endeavors….Holy **** why is he still here??? Do the girls really love the hair that looks as if he is always running backwards in a windstorm? And why did he have to borrow his dad’s ABC Appliance salesman’s blazer last night. Ugh the hair, the coat, the sliding into home plate …..It all just gives me a stomach ache.

Arron Kelly – I loved when Simon asked what was wrong with his voice and would have loved it if he just said “puberty”. I was a little shocked and appalled at his love crush on Miley…..I will stay the course and go on record and say that is just a beard hiding what we all know to be true. Did you catch Miley’s wide eyes and awkward head shaking no when Simon told him that he thinks he should KISS Miley….she apparently is thinking it too.

Crystal Bowersox – Look at this little sex kitten showing some skin last night……perhaps a hot flash from the mystery illness?? Anyway she SLAYED it in honor of my Mentor……I have nothing bad to say she is in such a different, relaxed, professional league.

Big Mike – we all know he is cute, likeable, and can sing – but it bothers me that he has a better complexion than me.

Andrew Garcia – Okay I am over the Roy Orbison glasses – can’t someone get him some contacts…..I am afraid that the black rimmed glasses aren’t the only thing I am sick of ……hate to say but Fez is on my short list.

Katie Stevens….They liked her. I didn’t – plain and simple…..too breathy …..Too throaty. Then she had the nerve to throw on neon pink SUSPENDERS and throw the hey look I am so young I am going RETRO into the 80’s …..Suck it. Did anyone catch her dad in the daisy dukes….Seriously Dad no teenager in America wants their dad to show thigh pubs on national TV.

Casey James – I am not really too concerned with how he looked or what he sounded like last night, I am more concerned with the fact that “Power of love” by Huey Lewis was a billboard hit……what a gay song.

Didi – She was very Taylor swift looking last night – but I am still rooting for this little one……I thought she sounded good and good for her for combating the judges critiques.

Siobhan – I randomly liked the Sanjaya Faux hawk……But this one still amazes me on how she looks like she should be re-instating the dewy decimal system back into every library in the US, but damn when the library closes for the night – this book worm can get her song on……it’s bizarre……Why did her Dad decide to dress up like Teen Wolf?

Going home………..Tim Urban (and it will be until he is gone)

Munson out…..

Hiatis....

If you haven't realized -I am off on vacation and enjoying every minute of the family time and sunshine!! If it makes you feel any better when AI was airing this week Chris and I were parked at some CHEESY karaoke bar watching seriously the most pathetic contestants imaginable, so instead of sitting in front of the tube we took on the role of Randy, Simon, Ellen & Kara and picked apart every aspect of these fools at this Karaoke bar while throwing a few back - it was fun I even hollar'ed a YO......WHAAAA at some 50 year old woman with gray hair down to her butt singing dido.....It was fun to take on the role of judge and critique these folks......cuz they DID NOT bring it.....
So I did catch up on the vote off....the other morning.....ridiculously mad at Tim Urban and almost considering throwing in the towel on this season......
Other than that - I will return next week with a sunburn and some vicious attitude against some folks that are still on that show!!

In other news - the Mystery illness has been resarched by a fellow AI addict....and it apparently relates to diabites.... Thanks for the research friend!!

Until next week
Munson out....

And here you have your mediocre Top 12

Okay so last night yes there were some upsets.....the only one that really irked me as you can imagine was Mr. Kentucky Waterfall - I think he deserved to stay in it.....who should have taken his place.......wait for it......yep you guessed it Tim Urban - are you kidding me, this fool wasn't even supposed to make it and here he is riding the tweener train all the way to gravyville. Ugh I personally will be soooo happy when he goes home he doesn't deserve to be sitting in stool and going on tour. Toddrick - no I don't think it was his time either but so be it he wasn't going to win, however he could have added some spark to this LAMO tour that will be happening. Girls I was surprised to see Kylie Minogue go home, but secretly glad to watch Lily walk away, do I think she is more talented - YES - however there is sort of a cocky air about her that I secretly enjoyed watching her get the wind knocked out of her.....More importantly the Mystery Illness still seems to plague me.....Crystal last night was a bit a miss......she looked like she was doped up on painkillers she didn't even smirk when put through to the top 12. She also had trouble sitting in the stool, or congratulating the person next to her. It is as if she didn't want to move her abdomen.....I am diagnosing the mystery illness to somewhere in that region, could it be kidney stones? gallbladder? Is she PG? Something was wrong and she looked like she was in pain. Then she was a bit emotional during the vote offs, which she doesn't strike me as an over emotional person anyway, so I was thinking is she contemplating bowing out due to the illness does that seat really belong to someone else....Am I creating a lot of drama out of nothing......possibly.

And I am not sure how emotionally invested I can get with the dueling pianos with Matt and Scott's fro....I thought it was awful and remembered why both of them were voted off. Matt definitely more tolerable, but still cheesy and ridiculous I felt like I was at a bachelorette party at Sing Sing in Lodo......

Okay I would just like to call it now.......
Casey desperately would like to pork Didi
and
Shibhon and Alex have or will be doing the horizontal bop soon.

Munson out....

YO........WHAAA?

Okay Randy Jackson’s Ebonics is literally killing me….I can’t stop the laughter at his stupidity; I secretly like re-enacting it with my husband in every day conversation…..
Chris – I got to go unload the dishwasher before we watch AI….
Cherie – Yo……Whaaaaa?
I enjoy its high pitched ending where the “T” never really gets fair credit it is due…..
I have to thank Mr. Jackson (Randy not Tito….) for expanding my vocabulary and really enabling me to sound like a complete tool when I try to imitate him more often than not! I am not going to lie I have fallen to the demons that make me want to say dawg, slayed it, brung it, dat was hot, and most recently YO…..WHAAA? So what if my skin glows like an albino in the hot dessert I want to hop on this Ebonics train throw on a prep school cardigan and if someone makes fun of me for doing so…..I will just say YO……WHAAA??? Dawg stop trying to bring a sista down.

Okay on with it….

Lee Dewyze – Ugh this song, “Fireflies”, when on the radio literally makes me feel dirty – I am not sure if it is the super annoying high male voice or what it is but it literally is like fingernails on a chalkboard for me. He at least didn’t try to use that voice when singing it however in future performances I hope he can stop holding his nose as if he here having a “how long can I hold my breath” competition at the pool. Very nasally for me and can the stylists come and tackle this boy down so he doesn’t look like he just got back from the Sadie Hawkins dance in plethora of flannel shirts……

Alex Lambert – okay I think this guy has the best voice right now, him and big Mike. I know his “show stopper” performance is an issue but I am going to stand up proud and state that I saw a toe tap last night…..I mean baby steps…..But I will have to put my foot down at the 1inch width of his tie last night…uncalled for.

Tim Urban – I still can’t like this guy and Chris and I are just waiting for him to put on his chin strap in order to connect the two sides of his helmet that graces his cranium…ugh. I can’t lie he did sound “better” but that is just it even Simon said last night “FOR YOU it was terrific” meaning you had such low standards and expectations than anything more than horrific is good. I am also sorry this isn’t Sunday school enough with the halleighluah nonsense I don’t think I will be mistaken when I say I don’t believe Jesus has ever been on Billboard’s top 40.

Andrew Garcia – Somehow him singing the lyrics “you gotta rub me the right way” made the song a little less fun and a little more sexually predator like. It was ay-ite….see I can’t stop Randy, my mentor…..

Casey James – Sounded good, but nothing fancy for me. I have a hard time hoping on the country train.

Aaron Kelly – bye bye doogie. Plain awful.

Toddrick Hall – Kara needs to shut her pie hole – she told him it was too dramatic….I am sorry it is Queen – that is the pinnacle of dramatic…..ie Drama “Queen” I feel like she is afraid to say anything positive at this point, like she is more “respected” if she gives a critique instead of a compliment.

Big Mike – Now I would usually be the first one to jump all over Kara’s ridiculous sobbing behavior last night but I can’t not lie – the first high pitched note the big teddy bear sang last night I literally shouted “I LOVE THIS SONG” It immediately took me back to high school and the many Saturdays that I would CONSTANTLY watch this movie and I am not going to lie there wasn’t one time (I know it might be hard to believe) that I watched Kevin Bacon run into that delivery room and as the tear drop of blood hit the operating floor that I didn’t sob like an infant. It is a GREAT song and he did it proud, and I can relate to the emotions of the song, but Kara pull it together you are on National TV not in the comfort of your own family room. I secretly think it was just an excuse to “cuddle” with Simon and get some more attention!

Bottom Two – Aaron Kelly & Tim Urban

Munson out…..

Unknown artists....

Okay this might be quick today need to get lots done in order to prepare for vacation…..
Well I am sure it wasn’t just me that was super excited to only one hour of our time would be wasted last night. Okay my biggest beef with last night was “we don’t know what kind of artist you are” Hey NEWS FLASH they will be whoever the eff you want them to be…..Just dangle that little record deal in front of their nose and you will have Crystal Bowersox sporting some spandex and a Rhianna hair do before the week is over….these people want to make it ….they don’t care how. Pink didn’t start out as the tough cookie she is today…..people do what they have to in order to get their footprint out there have millions hop on board and then they can do what ever they want to….so I am quite sick of all this talk – just sing well and they can mold you later…..Case in point, one Britney Spears surely didn’t and still doesn’t know what or who she should be but guess what everyone loved her and she is taking care of her kids and her “habits” just fine.

Katie Stevens – She is such a cute girl but how BORING…..She seriously did 3 …count them 3 hip sways her entire performance otherwise she stood there like Walt Disney, frozen stiff. Even more depressing was the fact that she mentioned she was only 8 when Kelly C. won, seriously have I been watching this garbage for 9 years – Really? She will meet her demise Thursday

Siobhan Magnus – She sounded good, but I was waiting for her to get a little crazy gritty with it but she kept is simple and I guess that is okay. Why does she remind me of a 1920’s housewife she will not make eye contact when she speaks, she is completely soft spoken after just belting out House of the rising sun, it’s like she stops singing and becomes this complete introvert…..weird to me.

Lacy Brown – Still not completely on board with this one. She didn’t sound bad but she is never too exciting for me….I didn’t like how she stared into the camera longingly as if pleading for votes before it was even over. I don’t like when people sit the entire song either…..get your red headed ass up and do something ……slow song or not. Plus last night it was as if a toddler dressed her……5 bracelets, 2 necklaces, 3 rings, green nail polish, orange tank, leopard/gold lame cardigan sweater……seriously its like that moment in a Toddlers life where they want to show independence and they can pick out their own outfits and the mom just dreads what they have put on but you have to choose your battles and say …..well they did it themselves I have to be proud for that……I just don’t think her mom is still proud of those choices at this point.

Katlyn Epperly – okay I like her but seriously I couldn’t take the revenge of the nerds keyboard sitting in front of her – I felt like shouting “NO ON 15” the whole time. It was so Mr. Rogers and add the overall dress to the mix and it was like I flew back 15 years and was watching a Bangles video…….It just seemed too sophomoric at this stage of the game.

Didi – Okay I have been pulling for this emotional train wreck since day one and finally she brought it last night – truly liked it last night – stage presence still a problem, but sounded good and looks like she actually enjoyed herself instead of being scared s***less for once! Well done!

Paige Miles – Don’t just sing a lullaby when I choose to watch it at 10 pm…….I couldn’t stop hitting snooze! My dozing nap was much more enjoyable than her performance. Then she gets all emotional saying she had a personal connection with the song that meant a lot to her…..as with you I was on the edge of my seat as Ryan inquired as to what it was about and COME ON – did she just blame her poor performance because she was so emotionally attached to the song because of MICHAEL JACKSON????? All respect lost at this point…….Yes we were all sad the king was lost, but come on…….you can’t use that as your emotional attachment…I won’t allow you!! Poor Choice Paige Poor choice……

Crystal “poop teeth” Bowersox. – Yup she is our steady eddy at this point…..she sounded great, is super comfortable, but that is just it a bit too comfortable in my book…..Really? Did she really just plop her self down on her amp while the judges critiqued her? What’s wrong Crystal “mystery illness” got ya down (still bitter I don’t know the inside track on this one)? Seriously you couldn’t last 1 more minute on your feet to hear how great you are? Okay I am seeing a trend here too lazy to comb or wash your hair, can’t stand more than a three minute song, apparently too lazy too brush your teeth on a routine basis…..I am really starting to worry about her immune system….what is wrong with this girl?

Lilly Allen – I am not going to lie I fell asleep and was too mad at her knitted macramé earrings to even care.

Bottom two ……Katie Stevens and Paige Miles (even though I think Paige should stay and Lacy should go…..)

Munson out…..

White Bean Soup

Well let's just say the melting pot is no longer..... in one night they managed to kick off 3 african americans and one asian......I can expect Ryan Seacreast and Simon Cowell to recieve their phone call from Jesse Jackson any moment. I CANNOT believe that Tim Urban is getting by on his dough boy look alone.....so irratating. Well I was 50/50 in my predictions, Didn't think Michelle needed to go just yet, but I am glad Didi stayed. Lacey should be thanking lucky red head stars....... Few things from last night....

Why did Crystal decide to wear her hospital gown? Did she get re-admitted? She looked like a bag lady last night.

Group song - did anyone think the girls were singing way too high? I did.

Danny Gokey - he was a little over the top promotional but I secretly miss his sad wife story...it was something to grasp onto last season...all we have now is a "mystery illness" I also loved how he said he has moved forward, and right after that statement all he talked about was his late wife......I don't know just seemed like he was still using it for "sales" purposes!
That is it.

Munson out......

Da Girls...

Well the girls definitely outshined the boys, but let’s not get carried away I could have this pathetic season wrapped up to top five by tomorrow evening. I am just not getting excited for anyone. They all seem to lack experience and confidence where past seasons people came from garage bands, and clubs with a bit more history attached to their resume than I was scrooge in my 2nd grade play. I am loosing ambition, I am not going to lie…….Someone…..well not even SOMEONE….EVERYONE needs to bring it, it’s no fun when the winner is so easily picked out. I have always enjoyed this show because it is competitive and there really are A LOT talented folks that make you sway back and forth with your loyalty…..that is not happening for me this year!

However I am glad Ellen is logging on and listening to me (or at least her stylist did)……she straight up went for the Ascot last night – well done! Ryan also called out Kara and Simon for their inappropriate personal space issues. Kara seems to be whoring her married self out a bit more than the average whore should. Yeah your pretty, you know what you are talking about, you have decent clothes, but seriously simmer down don’t waste your energy on one Simon Cowell – you can have bigger fish to fry…..Don’t fall into the trap of one Paula Abdul just because you are sitting in her chair.

Did anyone catch Big Mike’s Man scarf – the thing was so large that an average person could use it as a parachute.

Crystal Bowersox – okay on one hand I enjoy that she isn’t “I have a tumor… vote for me”….but come on the “mystery illness” is just bugging me. I have done some research and all I can come up with is “medical issues” why so secretive? Did she OD? Does she have Chlamydia? Did the bird that is living in her nest of a hairdo bite her? I just want to know, or wait for it…… the cynical side always has to bear her ugly head, did the producers make this up just to give her a favorable story line since she is an intrigue already? Hmmmmm…..At any rate I thought she sounded great, despite any made up illness. I finally figured out she reminds me of Joey Lauren Adams, the chick from “Chasing Amy” minus not one BUT TWO teeth on EACH side!!!

Hayley Vaughn – What a moonlighting marketing whore this one is…….the hair crafts……Well I am glad she has her hair crafts to fall back on……..she is brutal. I can’t take the high pitched lisp anymore. She butchered a very good song last night (I don’t normally like to out myself as enjoying a Miley Cyrus song – but come on its good) and after that performance last night she shouldn’t have even made it to Hollywood.

Lacy Brown – I am not sure what it is, but I WANT to have this girl do well, she is cute, sweet and likeable, but she just doesn’t do well. She looks the part but she is just got nothing there when she performs.

Katie Stevens – Judges weren’t too great on her last night – but I thought she was good she has got a great voice but trying to compete in an adult contest when you still look and act like a toddler is tough in anyone’s book.

Didi Benarmi – I still like her she sounded good to me – I know the judges didn’t like her, but she’s got it more than these other chicks do. What she doesn’t have is a backbone this girl is on the verge of an emotional breakdown every moment. I am afraid if Simon exhales too hard one day she will literally break on stage. Suck it up woman! Suppress those emotions!!

Michelle Delanor – haha – I think Vera Wang was a bit embarrassed that she was “outted” for attending AI…….She avoided the camera at all costs. It’s sort of like Donald Trump going to the Tellatubbies live on Ice show and everyone seeing him there. Judges liked her – I didn’t as much – I think she changed a great song for the worse.

Lily Scott – This is what I am taking about – it’s not like she is cocky but she stands tall and proud and is confident, good or bad. The other contestants should pay attention and follow suit.

Katelyn Epperly – besides the fact that she looked like she was on the verge of a sneeze the entire performance I thought she sounded good, despite singing Coldplay (a thorn in my overhyped side) and she looked adorable.

Paige Miles – She was seriously the only performer last night that TRULY looked like she was enjoying herself. She had fun she sounded good Kudos Paige.

Shiobhan Magnus – I like her she is unusual, she sounded good, but why o’ why did she look like she was Cinderella scrubbing the floors with her t-shirt and bobby socks and then realized she was late for the ball and ordered all the animals to quick fetch her a strapless dress and white heels that she then just threw them on over her rags and went with it……too much for me.

Bottom Two – Hayley Vaughn & Lacey Brown.

Munson out.

Bad Boys!

And I am not talking about it in some “Outsiders” “Roadhouse” cool=bad way….I am talking about these guys are pitiful….no lie….I can maybe pick out two or three that are NOT painful to watch…..It’s disappointing. I think Adam Lambert really screwed it up for these folks this season. He set the bar high, if you liked him or didn’t, you still sat like a deer in headlights and were drawn in by his performance. These guys this season need to step it up I mean literally I contemplated balancing my checkbook as a more productive outlet than staring at the screen laying back in a recliner with a snuggie on – now that is just WRONG! Chris actually said last night “I would rather watch the blind guy dance again than this……..”

Now before I get too into it – I would like to take a moment and offer thanks to the man above for keeping our own Elliot Yamin safe as this past (terrible teeth) contestant was in Chile this past week as the force of nature whirled through it……Luckily he was unharmed, and is able to continue his “amazing” career in the cigar bar in Vegas….wah wah wah….okay seriously it’s embarrassing I know this stuff…..

I enjoy how they said the “guys have AGREED to change nights” Puh-leeze like they had a choice what are they going to say to producers who could make all their dreams come true “no thanks, not feeling it….” I am so sure….. And what is with the “mystery illness” from poop teeth? Still no reports other than it is “more serious than a common cold” – Well I would hope so….

The flirting between Kara and Simon is getting downright absurd….she practically sits on his lap – their shoulders never are not touching….and I can’t stand how she “gazes” into his eyes longingly to see if he is going to agree with her or not….I don’t see the personal space issue happening between Randy and “E” – they need to separate those two….no wonder her husband has to show up to the set…..

I am glad “E” got off her zoo shift early – what was with her homage to Steve Erwin last night – she looked like Bindi the jungle girl…..and can I suggest a turtleneck – Chris pointed out her 70 year old elephant skinned neck last night……perhaps an ascot instead of the white leather tie…..just trying to help.

Randy entertained me with these two goodies last night:
“From one musician to another” – because all of a sudden he is connected with every guitar player since he jammed with Journey 20 years ago….
“You know what I like about your package…..” – Really?

Okay so here we go…

Big Mike – Thought he sounded great….and I use great because it is in comparison to every other turd that graced that stage last night. I enjoyed that he has always been “huge” into theater He was a regular Troy Bolton, before Troy was Troy….ahh the dilemmas football – music – football- music……The fact that he can bench over 500lbs is ridiculous…..and who just says that? I liked him dressed up but he still couldn’t let go of the tennis shoes….please for the love get this boy some loafers…..
John Park – I mean I want to root for him being from the burbs of Chicago….I feel like I should connect with him and pull for him but the only thing I am really pulling for is for him to be yanked from the airwaves and never to be seen or heard again. Painfully boring and I am just thankful that Asian Karaoke is so popular – he should do just fine.

Casey James – okay big man on campus – your locks can’t save you now – the guitar was fine, but the vocals were mediocre at best…..I couldn’t wait for the backup singers to chime in to make it more bearable…..I am afraid you need to step to the side of the stage and become a Richie Sambora on guitar not Jon Bon Jovi in front of the mic.

Alex Lambert – I think this guy has the underdawg draw…..People are pulling for this little mulleted pile of nerves….and so am I …I think he is “more clever” and “experienced” than we think – he might ride this “poor little guy” thing all the way to the bank.

Toddrick Hall – Sang Tina Turner – again I will have to agree with the judges, he is trying to hard to impress – just be cool, dance your moves, sing your song, and be confident and normal….enough with standing “out” let’s just try to have a decent performance.

Jermaine Sellers – He sang Marvin Gay, but I will tell you what is g…to the …a…to the….y is the pee wee Herman bow tie, the Mr. Roger’s cardigan, the betty boop polka dotted shirt, the Bon Jovi acid washed jeans, the Mr. T faux hawk, Run DMC’s shoes, and Little Richards mustache all wrapped up in one outfit…..I mean it was like MTV of VHI threw up on him……simmer down I would much rather see you in your onesie on stage as you are a man after my own heart in that department, I as well likes to rock a onsie……so I was all ready to put my vote in and then you had to go ahead and spoil it by saying “I AXED him” and “I know God.” Sorry dude but we have now officially broken up.

Aaron Kelly – we changed up his first interview at our house last night and it goes something like this “something you don’t know about me is that I just got my first pub.” – Good one Chris…..anyway there were so many awkward non- singing moments last night (btw singing was good)
1.“that was awesome” when commenting about Simon’s quote to him after his performance backstage – I am okay with the language per say but he said it in a Chris Farley kind of manner “Remember when I met the Beatles” “that was awesome”
2.When they asked him if he likes Justin Beeber and he AWKWARDLY giggled as if to say don’t you dare OUT me in front of the entire nation……Opps too late.

Tim Urban – I can’t even get involved in this guy who’s voice is too high for his own good and absolutely painful to listen too I plead with all tweeners out there set this boy free…..

Lee Dewyeze - So glad Ryan commented on his pants being pulled up multiple times during his performance, it was so distracting that I stopped listening to “lips of an angel” and just started singing “pants on the ground, pants on the ground, looking like a fool with chur pants on the ground” he is good but still not amazing….I think again it is relative to how bad everyone else it….

That’s all folks

Bottom two – John Park & Tim Urban (make note these are the SAME as last weeks!)

Munson out…..

First four to go....

Okay here it is Friday already and I just viewed the vote off.....Who do I think I am waiting so long??? Well you just can't be home EVERY night of the week when this god forsaken show is on! Well I was 1 for 4 in my predictions not stellar.....I mean I wasn't that upset by anyone who left but one little turd who had the best expression to date upon hearing that he was safe. That is right Tim Urban - how did he squeak by - he was god awful - let me remind you he was the one who went through puberty on national TV last week - did people feel bad for him or can these girls not see past the shag haircut? I was floored as he was but let's not fool ourselves he won't be hear long unless his coconuts drop ASAP.

Girls -
Janelle - nothing lost - I don't think it was her time to go, but that is what you get for wearing a banana yellow and teal cruise ship sweater set.....
Ashley - well its back to eating oats and barley back at the barn......"ohhhh Wilbur"

Boys -
Tyler Grady - no love lost he was a bit too cocky for his level of talent - serves him right.
Joe Munoz - didn't deserve to go at all - John Park you got lucky......but again it's not like he would have been the top 10.

Group Performance - I didn't mind it, I thought they sounded good as a group. What I would like to see in the future is just everyone circled around Powersox and James (aka pooh teeth and Kara's lover) and make them do the most ridiculous cheesy dance. These two were both SOOO uncomfortable with the staged dance moves that Casey straight up refused to do them at one point.....suck it up you signed on for that fame and fortune you better get your running man up to speed for next week!

Pay attention :
That is right you..... the top 20 pay attention to Allison Ireheta and Kris Allen - that is what I am talking about - both have voices that I literally get excited to listen to.....and thank you Haiti for bring back Kris' Killer smile to the big screen.....Everyone knows I am a big fan of the boy but I am not going to lie is his hair thinning????? Say it isn't so.....please please god don't let this man be the poster child for propecia! Until next week.

Munson out....

12 Boys....

Okay my only beef for these contestants is all they heard Hollywood week was , change it up, make it your own, be original, do a David Cook…… and as many of them did last night (good or bad) the annoying comment I heard back was “don’t change up a song that is already good” “didn’t need your change up on it” “Just stay with the original melody” I mean if it was bad it was bad but I feel like these kids are getting the rugs pulled out from them. They are hanging on every word that these four individuals say to them and then the judges totally contradict themselves. I think all of them should be sent to a communications seminar. I mean if they didn’t like it then say so but don’t say it is because they did what you have instructed them to do…… along with that my other beef with the judges last night were as follows…..
•Randy – what’s up with the Bill Cosby cardigan sweater?
•Kara – besides the chandeliers hanging from your shoulders did you spill your pop on your shirt?
•Simon – Did you come straight from a wedding? A Collared button down – hey Mr. Fancy pants who is trying to impress Casey James now?
•Ellen – Thank you for leaving the oxford button down and ties at home last night.

Toddrick Hall – he sang Kelly Clarkson’s song with a lot of Revenge of the Nerds synthesizer behind him I didn’t think it was as bad as they made it out to be….again he was trying to be original. My biggest concern is ….Did he win his car race? I sure hope so because I hope there was another reason he was wearing those leather fingerless gloves.

Aaron Kelly – he is the youngster – ugh so boring to me couldn’t stand it, but the kid has a cute smile and some killer straight teeth that should get him by.

Jermaine Sellers – and so the silk flower saga continues – what is with the black carnation bootiner last night? Song was super annoying and I think every dog was wagging their tail to that high pitched garbage.

Jim Urban – this was 2nd chance boy (that producer is kicking his own butt for choosing him now) and unfortunately that was your last chance. I seriously thought it was Peter Brady out on that stage “when it’s time to change …..you got to re-arrange” ugh so out of tune and sounded like he was going through puberty right in front of us…..Bye bye…..And can I make a request for HSM to please make a 4th movie so Zac Effron can PLEASE come out with a new hairdo so all these fools will stop with the forehead sweep!

Joe Munoz – Okay all I have to say is I was thankful that Chris was at hockey last night because one glance at the Man Scarf that Joe was wearing would have sent him into a tail spin……Don’t ever get Chris going on the man scarf….which seriously I will have to hop on board with as well unless you are out shoveling snow, walking in a blizzard, or are a figure skater….for the love of all metro sexuals…..along with the forehead sweep hairdo can we let the man scarf die as well….oh yeah didn’t like his voice either…….

Tyler Grady – AKA Kelso from 70’s show…..Okay he wasn’t great and he isn’t that great to look at….however I applaud him for singing an anthem song that people can connect with and pump their fists to. I am so sick of these people picking songs that no one can relate to or these ballads for their first introduction to America……do you want to be the guy remembered for “memories” for crying out loud? I would absolutely LOVE it if he came out in a straight up Abercrombie madras plaid ensemble next week with a greased comb over….Think it would be hilarious!

Lee Dewyze – He was good – not great but good. But for some reason I feel like placing toothpicks in his eyelids…he always seems half baked or on the verge of narcolepsy.

John Park – So stupid. Case in point – pick an anthem – these screaming tweeners are not going to hope on board with god bless this child, and furthermore don’t go for the sympathy excuse “it’s for my parents and all the money struggles” blah blah blah you picked a gay song and it sucked. OWN it.

Mike Lynche - I love that he wore his straight up sneakers like he just got done at the gym 30 seconds prior to performing….. Again he was just Ah-yite for me …….I keep waiting for dead bugs to fly out of his mouth because he looks like the guy in the green mile to me.

Alex Lambert – I loved that E called out his Kentucky waterfall last night; I was thinking the same thing. Honestly I can’t even remember what he sang but I do remember how tightly he was grabbing the mike as if it was a life preserver going to save him from this nightmare he was drowning in.

Casey James – oh lord where to start – I mean I was taken back to 1998 dancing with my new groom as this boy sang my wedding song – it was good I enjoyed but come on….. This Nickel back look alike isn’t all that “h.o.t” so Kara pull your cougar a** together this Hot roller diva doesn’t need to be taunted by your inappropriate married self.

Andrew Garcia – sang fall out boy and I liked it – screw you Simon see rant in first paragraph!

Bottom two – Tim Urban and John Park.

Munson out…..

12 Ladies....

Okay well after two hours last night I could seriously narrow it down to the final two girls. The rest of them as pleasant and cute as they are they will be gone I just have a gut feeling……..Another feeling I got last night was that these girls all enjoy the following:
•Super skin tight pants (most who actually warrant wearing them!)
•Metallic waist belts, and
•LARGE silk flower arrangements posing as hair accessories.

Some things from the first “performance” night.
•I don’t enjoy the bulls eye stage I feel like it is too small for these kids to even try to create a stage presence. I mean one sas-hay to the left and they will be falling into thin air…..
•I think the band and background music needs to step it up – I thought it was rather muted and made the singers sound worse than they should have.
•Can we please come up with something new regarding the texting number and finger gestures at the end of their performances? I feel like these kids all try to be trendy and come up with something when it in turn just looks like you are having an epileptic seizure waving your didgets around in a furry. For example
1.If you are #2 you don’t always have to give the peace sign with different
mouth gestures to match nor do the pulp fiction dance.
2. If you are #3 you don’t have to always give the “west siiiiiiddddeee” W as if you are a thug and not from some posh suburb.
Catch my drift?

Judges:
I was actually impressed last night – I felt for one fleeting moment that they all (including Mr. Jackson) had something constructive to add. If anyone was low on the totem poll last night I would have to say it was “E” (wanted to kill Randy every time he said “whadda think “E”?) She was okay but felt it necessary to end every comment good or bad with “I like you” as if she were some pimply faced 12 year old saying it for the first time to Johnny Sunshine outside her locker……it bugged me. I laughed at the Simon/E love affair story line ….I feel like she had to hide behind some kind of beard last night in order to mask her drool for these 12 hot chicks that were all “performing” for her…..It had to be hard for HER and SIMON…..both wanting the same thing and all……. Lastly, what is up with Randy’s 3 hair chin beard? So Stupid!

Ladies:

Paige Miles – Her eyes kind of scare me …….they are always as if she just saw a ghost bug eyed and open…..I wasn’t feeling her one piece lace short outfit that we later found out she had to be sewn in and hasn’t peed in 5 hours. Chris made a good point there are certain things girls shouldn’t say when you are trying to play the part of a sex symbol star and that is “I have to pee” or “I wipe snot all day long” both of which Paige touched upon last night. She needs some work I didn’t think she was as good as Simon said she was and please for the love…. how about some lipstick or at least some gloss…..those lips were dryer than a pile of raisins.

Ashley Rodriguez – So here we are two contestants in and two contestants wearing silver or gold Lame??? Yikes I was scared by this Mr. Ed beauty…..she has a mouth that could seriously swallow you whole, but down right pretty. But bottom line she has got the looks but not the voice – at least last night for me.

Janell Wheeler – Case in point of the tight pants this girl has every right to wear them proud…. my goodness…….Why you gotta get E all in a flutter like that. She sang Heart – too big for her britches like the judges said. And I love when Randy starts the comments and he starts with the SLOW “yo’s” “yo…….yo…………yo……… you know it isn’t good. But when he gets the fast “yo yo yo” you know you did joined the dawg pound

Lilly Scott – So I don’t really get it is her hair blonde? Is it grey? Is the color correct on my TV? Does it need a VO5 hot oil treatment? Not sure I follow it yet…….She is good I like her but I warn you girls with the quirky little voices – remember what happen to Megan from last year…..it wasn’t pretty. This one will be interesting to watch.

Katelyn Epperly – When I watched her I felt like I was watching Kylie Minogue from 1986 step off the set of Desperately Seeking Susan and onto an AI stage. I think she sounded great though, I know the judges didn’t enjoy but I did so there.

Hayley Vaughn – Okay yes this girl is bubbly and cute but honestly I don’t know if I can take that reverse pouty lip for a whole season – it is really distracting along with her lisp. What I do appreciate is that she goes out and DOES NOT sing every Mary J. Blige song and others from that genera.

Lacy Brown – she sang Landslide I personally didn’t think it was that awful, however the soft personality of a rock is what I think will ultimately send this little Lucille ball home. And her outfit….. was she running late and couldn’t find her outfit and quickly grabbed the nearest tablecloth and wrapped it around her like a toga? Not cool.

Michelle Delamor - This girl reminds me of the chick in the MJ Thriller video – the curly hair, the tight pants, the hot red lips, the heels…….I couldn’t focus as I immediately went into a shimmy shimmy clap and finished the Thriller dance instead of watching her performance. – Very cute but forgettable.

Didi Benamir - I will have to say this is one of my final two – I have liked her from day one albeit the unnecessary tears every five minutes…..She is good and has it I think at this stage anyway – what I think she needs to let go of is the crocheted pot holder sweater she wore. – You are in the Kodak Theatre not Woodstock……Step it up Didi….

Siobhan – Who just blows glass for a living? Sort of an odd job for an odd duck. – She sang wicked game I think she has a good voice but has no social skills and needs to learn that her “talking” voice can use different inflections as to connect with someone other than a rock. How can these people be so talented when they sing, but then complete morons in normal conversations? Hopefully it was just nerves.
Crystal Bowersox - First and foremost – Thank you Crest white strips you have made a valiant effort as I noticed her teeth were not the shade of pooh anymore – don’t give up they still could use a few shades of blanco to have her compare with civilization. Well she is my other front runner – she is just confident and relaxed and I enjoy her voice however I may just vote her off from last night as she so loudly proclaimed “I am just doing this for a bigger paycheck” I am sorry but that is not what America wants to hear – yes I get it you want to provide for your son but don’t act like this is beneath you otherwise. I didn’t appreciate the cold shoulder to someone who could pull you out from under those rat infested dreads.

Katie Stevens – She is sweet and all but yeah no one wants to see a 17 year old get all sexy and sultry on national TV……Why does she remind me of Charlotte on Sex and the City? Ms. Goodie two shoes…….I would like to see a trendy hair cut, a removal of the Mickey mouse ear headband and why not….. lets add a metallic waisted belt (it seems to be all the rave) ….she has got the voice….. She just doesn’t have her identity yet!

Bottom Two ……..Ashley and Lacy…….

Munson out.