Bad Boys!

And I am not talking about it in some “Outsiders” “Roadhouse” cool=bad way….I am talking about these guys are pitiful….no lie….I can maybe pick out two or three that are NOT painful to watch…..It’s disappointing. I think Adam Lambert really screwed it up for these folks this season. He set the bar high, if you liked him or didn’t, you still sat like a deer in headlights and were drawn in by his performance. These guys this season need to step it up I mean literally I contemplated balancing my checkbook as a more productive outlet than staring at the screen laying back in a recliner with a snuggie on – now that is just WRONG! Chris actually said last night “I would rather watch the blind guy dance again than this……..”

Now before I get too into it – I would like to take a moment and offer thanks to the man above for keeping our own Elliot Yamin safe as this past (terrible teeth) contestant was in Chile this past week as the force of nature whirled through it……Luckily he was unharmed, and is able to continue his “amazing” career in the cigar bar in Vegas….wah wah wah….okay seriously it’s embarrassing I know this stuff…..

I enjoy how they said the “guys have AGREED to change nights” Puh-leeze like they had a choice what are they going to say to producers who could make all their dreams come true “no thanks, not feeling it….” I am so sure….. And what is with the “mystery illness” from poop teeth? Still no reports other than it is “more serious than a common cold” – Well I would hope so….

The flirting between Kara and Simon is getting downright absurd….she practically sits on his lap – their shoulders never are not touching….and I can’t stand how she “gazes” into his eyes longingly to see if he is going to agree with her or not….I don’t see the personal space issue happening between Randy and “E” – they need to separate those two….no wonder her husband has to show up to the set…..

I am glad “E” got off her zoo shift early – what was with her homage to Steve Erwin last night – she looked like Bindi the jungle girl…..and can I suggest a turtleneck – Chris pointed out her 70 year old elephant skinned neck last night……perhaps an ascot instead of the white leather tie…..just trying to help.

Randy entertained me with these two goodies last night:
“From one musician to another” – because all of a sudden he is connected with every guitar player since he jammed with Journey 20 years ago….
“You know what I like about your package…..” – Really?

Okay so here we go…

Big Mike – Thought he sounded great….and I use great because it is in comparison to every other turd that graced that stage last night. I enjoyed that he has always been “huge” into theater He was a regular Troy Bolton, before Troy was Troy….ahh the dilemmas football – music – football- music……The fact that he can bench over 500lbs is ridiculous…..and who just says that? I liked him dressed up but he still couldn’t let go of the tennis shoes….please for the love get this boy some loafers…..
John Park – I mean I want to root for him being from the burbs of Chicago….I feel like I should connect with him and pull for him but the only thing I am really pulling for is for him to be yanked from the airwaves and never to be seen or heard again. Painfully boring and I am just thankful that Asian Karaoke is so popular – he should do just fine.

Casey James – okay big man on campus – your locks can’t save you now – the guitar was fine, but the vocals were mediocre at best…..I couldn’t wait for the backup singers to chime in to make it more bearable…..I am afraid you need to step to the side of the stage and become a Richie Sambora on guitar not Jon Bon Jovi in front of the mic.

Alex Lambert – I think this guy has the underdawg draw…..People are pulling for this little mulleted pile of nerves….and so am I …I think he is “more clever” and “experienced” than we think – he might ride this “poor little guy” thing all the way to the bank.

Toddrick Hall – Sang Tina Turner – again I will have to agree with the judges, he is trying to hard to impress – just be cool, dance your moves, sing your song, and be confident and normal….enough with standing “out” let’s just try to have a decent performance.

Jermaine Sellers – He sang Marvin Gay, but I will tell you what is g…to the …a…to the….y is the pee wee Herman bow tie, the Mr. Roger’s cardigan, the betty boop polka dotted shirt, the Bon Jovi acid washed jeans, the Mr. T faux hawk, Run DMC’s shoes, and Little Richards mustache all wrapped up in one outfit…..I mean it was like MTV of VHI threw up on him……simmer down I would much rather see you in your onesie on stage as you are a man after my own heart in that department, I as well likes to rock a onsie……so I was all ready to put my vote in and then you had to go ahead and spoil it by saying “I AXED him” and “I know God.” Sorry dude but we have now officially broken up.

Aaron Kelly – we changed up his first interview at our house last night and it goes something like this “something you don’t know about me is that I just got my first pub.” – Good one Chris…..anyway there were so many awkward non- singing moments last night (btw singing was good)
1.“that was awesome” when commenting about Simon’s quote to him after his performance backstage – I am okay with the language per say but he said it in a Chris Farley kind of manner “Remember when I met the Beatles” “that was awesome”
2.When they asked him if he likes Justin Beeber and he AWKWARDLY giggled as if to say don’t you dare OUT me in front of the entire nation……Opps too late.

Tim Urban – I can’t even get involved in this guy who’s voice is too high for his own good and absolutely painful to listen too I plead with all tweeners out there set this boy free…..

Lee Dewyeze - So glad Ryan commented on his pants being pulled up multiple times during his performance, it was so distracting that I stopped listening to “lips of an angel” and just started singing “pants on the ground, pants on the ground, looking like a fool with chur pants on the ground” he is good but still not amazing….I think again it is relative to how bad everyone else it….

That’s all folks

Bottom two – John Park & Tim Urban (make note these are the SAME as last weeks!)

Munson out…..