The Windy City....

So I felt a bit nostalgic when they started out the show in my home town, I felt like I arrived home when I heard all the truck driving f-bombs being fired, and the spectacular views of what the city has to offer…..but then it just went down hill, I mean yes there were those few crazies that gave us all a chuckle, but other than that I felt like it was a whole lot of nothing last night. There was a lot of editing and not so many actual auditions. I felt like perhaps they didn’t show a lot because there wasn’t much to show and I guess I felt a bit disappointed that my “roots” didn’t represent more……

Someone who did represent herself was one Shania Twain…I think I am finally hoping on board with every other male that saw her in her leopard hooded coat about 10 years ago….she is one classy pretty lady. If I could age as gracefully as she is I would say bring on Menopause I am ready. I thought she had normal things to say, presented herself well what I didn’t like was the following:
1.The obnoxious smitten flirting that Simon was FORCING upon her, seriously at one point in time I thought he was sitting IN her lap.
2.Now I know Shania is all about the “swap” (you US readers will understand) but isn’t she with her best friends ex husband as we speak, she should have not lead poor Simon on to be such a fool last night when obviously she is taken.
3.I didn’t enjoy that Kara claimed her as “penning the greatest pop songs ever” ummmm I know I belted it loud and proud with a bit of flair to my head tilt, but I am sorry if the lyrics “So you’re Brad Pitt….” constitutes “penning the greatest pop songs” than Mr. Obama our country is in a bigger crisis than you think, we need to throw healthcare to the side and focus up on this desperate issue.
4.I also didn’t like her brief “Paula moment” when she couldn’t stop flinging her shirt tie and acted all giddy when she started referring to someone’s lower ranger in their voice…..I will give her the benefit of the doubt since I no doubt think she was distracted by Simon’s anaconda that was slithering up her thigh under that desk of theirs……

Okay seriously enough about Shania – you would think I would be switching teams with as much as I was boasting about her stunning smile and luxurious locks…..I digress….
Any who…. Some other highlights from last night were the following….
1.The boob pump…secretly funny but ridiculous…..I tried it, I think I almost had the reverse effect since I was already in jammies and felt it nearly impossible to heave them off my abdomen….
2.I loved the homage to Carlton and the fresh prince with “it’s not unusual”
3.I enjoy the mom who had the nerve to express “ahh-hell-to-the-no” to Simon’s face.
4.The high pitched, tip-toeing, Tiny Tim guy that had more facial tics than a Jim Carey in The mask – I wanna say this guy was for real with the tip toe – bless his heart.
5.I love these guys who get the golden ticket and have to call home to tell MOM….WTF….Mom seriously you can’t put the tuna bake casserole down for one minute and join your child in this journey…..I am so sure….now I know they gots to work to support etc etc….but come on that is what PTO is for! Call your grandma, aunts, uncles and cousins but your Momma should be standing outside that door to tackle you to the ground in some obnoxious proud parent moment not screaming into a cell phone 10,000 miles away.
6.I love Harold Davis saying the only reason he wants to “make it” is so he can eat steak! Goodness….has he not heard of sizzla? I also enjoyed that he got sad and started crying when he got 4 “No” and then blamed his tears and frustrations on allergies……Damn it if only he had some Claritin I am sure he would have made it to Hollywood.
7.Lastly, Long Duck Dong was really good, but can an Asian really pull off the Zac Effron hair cut? I didn’t like it one bit…..

That’s it – lamo Chi-town.
Munson out.