Here we go Season 9

Okay well here we go……off onto a FIVE month journey (yep that is right) I just looked back and it goes all the way until the mother of May!! But you know what?? I don’t think there will be any complaining of long two hour episodes, EVERY day of the week this year. I feel like in the wake of the breaking news that this will be Simon’s last season as a judge I need to pull up the bootstraps and dive in from start to finish this year because let’s face it the show will fade quickly without Mr. Cowell. I mean really it just becomes Star Search without the face and the name that made it what it is today……so with that being said I feel like I need to give it my all before Ryan just turns into another Ed McMahon and waits for the stroked induced Mr. Clark to hand over the throne for good.

I can’t believe I am already going to say this, but I think I miss Paula……not so much for her unbelievable “experience” with the music industry but more for the backbone of my blog……let’s face it I will be hard pressed to come up with things to talk about with Kara and R2D2 as judges……yep a whole lot of empty space floating around with those two chicks….. First let’s circle back to R2D2 and by this reference to the famous robot I am talking about Victoria “posh spice” Beckham. Holy cow what a waste of real estate – seriously I could have place a mannequin from Macy’s and would have gotten the same amount of feedback that she gave……no facial expressions, no slouching, no quick movements it was like watching “Emmy” in the store window from the award winning 1997 movie “mannequin” – Speaking of 1997 I enjoy that they used that same year to explain her past credits as a recording artist when she was in the Spice girls….as much as it pains me to age myself when I type this but that was seriously 13 years ago and since then all she has done is walk around as a bobble head trophy attached to her talented husband’s arm. So as you can tell I am elated to get the Ellen train started…..Choo Choo…..I hope she doesn’t disappoint I dig her sense of humor and hope she will add smiles and giggles to my nightly viewing.

I would also like to give a shout out to my DVR system……I seriously love you. Not only for the 40+ minutes you saved me in commercials last night (absurd right?!) but I can’t tell you how many times just last night Chris and I watched a segment in slow mo…or rewound it to replay something that just made us pee our pants……I could recap but I doubt most of you are willing to extend the two hour process like I am in order to catch these nuances that will keep me up typing about them……

So it is early in the game so I can’t possibly comment on all the ridiculousness, the heart felt stories, the twinge of hope for the “this is my dream” moment……but I will however state a few items that I thought were worthy…..

• When did Simon borrow Robin William’s forearms? Holy sweater batman…..
• Could Posh spice possibly really weigh 10 lbs less once she removes her makeup? I mean come on that is pushing below 80 lbs….and now that just makes me pissed as I clean up my plate of nachos.
• I enjoy how they had to “open” up the show with the “crazy hook” you know the girl in the pink half shirt that liked to accentuate her gut by constantly jumping up and down and never removing the deodorant balls that were layered ten rows deep in her pits that the camera kept focusing on….are the only women self conscious of their abdomens ones that have birthed children, if so, this girl was definitely NOT a mutha…..But to sum it up Chris final words were “figures she is an accountant” god love him…..and gotta love the turds they like to highlight.
• The “holla” guy – bless this guys soul for being brave enough to bare his Bobby Brady puberty moment with all of America……..and I enjoy that he stated I love “hollering” like it is some great American pastime.
• I am not going to lie Amadio, the Italian meathead……scared the crap out of me….him and his brothel of cousins pounced on my little Ryan like he was the football at the fourth and goal play. And PUH-leeezzzzeeee 28 years old….he looked 40 and that is partly just me talking crazy jealousy talk since I apparently will be turning 9 years older than him very shortly…….
• I really enjoyed the acne induced Jesus bible belter stopping to smell the flowers all while a huge gust of wind blew his Pantene pro-v hair back to catch all the action…..gotta love these producers.
• The Black horned rimmed glasses guy…..Let’s just say I could totally see Norman Gentle coaching this guy…..what an act…..come on he was a decent looking guy who just threw on huge rimmed glasses, greased his hair down and got all lippy in order to get “on-air” – glad he didn’t make it I couldn’t stand to see the bet continue.
• I am going to call it now…….best makeover to come ……the Roger Daltrey 70’s look a like, he was a really good singer and had a massive square jaw line….all I am saying give this guy to the Makeup crew, some new teeth and a haircut and I could see people getting surprised…..
• I couldn’t not mention the guy who looked like Kris Katan with Sheila E’s perm wearing the Michael Jackson sequin vest with random silver butterflies on his elbows, Harley Davidson biker gloves and an etch a sketch beard to boot……there was a lot of effort in this look and I would like to give this guy an “A” for effort…..
• Looking forward to Bosu’s moms head wraps to come…..

Well we are off and running folks I hope you have your seat belt on for this glorious ride!!

Munson out....